Sunday, December 25, 2005
4th letter of December 2005
4) Christmas, December 25, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005.
Together with Valery, I was going to Saint Therese Church Chinatown to volunteer putting Christmas decoration at the church. At 3 p.m. Father Michael took us home at Hyde Park. In the evening I was preparing the power point of the community’s kaleidoscope for the December 31st.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005.
In the morning till afternoon, we (Ignas, Dharmawan, Valery and I) went to Saint Therese to help decorating the church.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005.
We as community went to a retreat house at Frankfort, Illinois, Portiuncula Retreat Center with the special theme of this year is HOPE, preached by Father Rocco. We ended the retreat with the afternoon Mass and had supper at Chinese Buffet nearby Chinatown.
Thursday, December 22, 2005.
This morning I borrowed In Focus, slide projector at CTU’s library and Ignas helped me give a ride. I tried this projector and with the help of Dharmawan it worked out. It will be helpful for the community event at the end of this year to review our community’s events during 2005. I put together my notes through my journal into power point including some pictures representing various moments of our theology community at Hyde Park. It takes time to prepare it. In the afternoon, joining at our holy hour, a young college man, Collin, together with Father Victor Moselle, sx. In the supper, we had long chatting about the vocation of priesthood.
Friday, December 23, 2005.
In the morning Mass there was Father Adolph who passed by to join us. I went to Union Station at downtown to take Metra train to reach Lake Cook Road Station. I visited an Indonesian family, Steve-Monci who live at Buffalo Grove, IL. They picked me up at the station at 11.30 p.m. and we directly went to have lunch at a Japanese Buffet Restaurant at Todai Restaurant located at Woodfield Mall, the largest mall in Chicago. I have been going to this mall last summer with two Alexian Brothers, Ronald and Victor. It’s a good place to have lunch with Japanese menu such as sushi and other Chinese food. It is much better than the Chinese Buffet. We went to shopping at a Swedish store called IKEI. In the evening we went to Steve-Monci’s house and I stayed one night there. The last time I went to visit them at summer, 6 months ago. I saw their three kids, Kalista, Thalia, and Alen are growing. They are 6th, 4th and 1st graders. I showed them my video tape of my presiding class, the Mass in Indonesian and English. At midnight I was sleeping at Thalia’s room.
Saturday, December 24, 2005.
I have slept very well last night and through computer Cik Monci showed me some pictures of the family reunion last summer at Walt Disney, Florida. At noon, the family treated me once again to have lunch at a restaurant, Bob Chinn’s Crab House Restaurant. They took me home at Hdye Park while the day was raining. After I arrived home, I could take a rest for a while and in the evening Ignas took us (Valery and I) to Saint Therese Church Chinatown to have Christmas Vigil Mass at 8 p.m. The children of the CCD program presented a Christmas tablo. It’s the first time I celebrated the Christmas night at this church and many people coming. We went back home at 10 p.m.
Sunday Christmas, December 25, 2005.
In the morning Valery and I went to Saint Therese to attend the Mass at 9.30. Only Father Michael and I served the Mass and not that many people came to this Mass. I joined the Indonesian Mass at Saint Therese School presided by Father Kuntoro Adi, sj from Milwaukee. There were about 40 people coming to this Indonesian Christmas Mass while in the church, there was Mandarin Mass at 11 a.m. attended by 79 people. I did meditation by myself at Saint Therese church and at 4 p.m. together with Deacon Paul, svd, I went back home at Hyde Park.
In the supper we have special menu cooked by Alejandro and Pascal Atumisi, a Mexican food, ‘tamales.’ It continued with community gathering, singing Christmas songs and exchanging gifts. We’re all present at this Christmas night plus Father Willy and Adolph and lasted until 11 p.m.
MERRY CHRISTMAS 25 DECEMBER 2005
AND
HAPPY NEW YEAR 01 JANUARY 2006
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
3rd letter of December 2005
3) 4th Sunday of Advent, December 18, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005.
Today I was doing the power point of kaleidoscope of my community. In the evening, a professor of Old Testament from CTU, Sister Diane Bergant came to visit our community and joined our supper cooked by Father Rocco. At night I was watching a DVD entitled the Hiding Place, about Nazi.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005.
In the morning I went to CTU to return the DVD’s I borrowed then I borrowed some 24 books of religious life as anticipation of my J-Term course on Religious Life in Context in January 2006 as well as my personal reflection toward the perpetual vows in the Xaverians. In the afternoon I was cooking, a pork soup (sayur asin baikut daing babi). In the evening at our house there was a formators meeting of some religious communities. At night I was reading some books of religious life. At night Father Pascal just returned from East Coast.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005.
In the morning Father Rocco flew to Boston and returned on Friday night. I was reading books of religious life. In the afternoon I was cooking pizza and lasagna, just warming them up in the oven. There was one guest coming to join our evening prayer and supper, namely, a sister from California, classmate of Valery at CTU. At night again I was reading a book of religious life.
Thursday, December 15, 2005.
In the morning after breakfast I was reading a book of religious life. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken. In the evening I called my sister up in Jakarta to congratulate her 33 years old’s birthday.
Friday, December 16, 2005.
In the morning Ignas and Valery took me to downtown at the public library and I borrowed some CD’s of learning languages such as Italian, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin and France. I can borrow them for three weeks. I went to the sacrament of reconciliation at Saint Peter Loop downtown and returned home afterward. I went to CTU to renew two books I borrowed last semester and signed up on January 18th for meeting with the director of M.Div, Sister Barbara Bowe, rscj regarding reviewing my courses due to graduation of M.Div in May 2006. In the evening prayer at our community we started the novena of Christmas. At night I was preparing the power point of kaleidoscope of my community till midnight.
Saturday, December 17, 2005.
In the morning I was cleaning the kitchen as usual. At 3 p.m. for 45 minutes I had personnal meeting with my formator, Father Rocco. In the evening we had the second day of Novena of Christmas.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
In the morning together with Valery, I went to St. Therese Church. At 9.30 a.m. I attended the Mass and the Sunday School kids had Christmas celebration. Soon after the Mass, Father Michael invited me to accompany him for shopping at an Italian store, Caputo. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I joined Father Michael on the meditation before the tabernacle of the church. He took me home at Hyde Park.
At 6 p.m. we (Father Rocco, Father Victor, Valery, Harno and I) went to watch a play about Thomas Merton entitled the Hermit in New York, while outside was very cold, about minus 13 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). Upon coming home, I was eating supper and then typing this journal.
Monday, December 12, 2005.
Today I was doing the power point of kaleidoscope of my community. In the evening, a professor of Old Testament from CTU, Sister Diane Bergant came to visit our community and joined our supper cooked by Father Rocco. At night I was watching a DVD entitled the Hiding Place, about Nazi.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005.
In the morning I went to CTU to return the DVD’s I borrowed then I borrowed some 24 books of religious life as anticipation of my J-Term course on Religious Life in Context in January 2006 as well as my personal reflection toward the perpetual vows in the Xaverians. In the afternoon I was cooking, a pork soup (sayur asin baikut daing babi). In the evening at our house there was a formators meeting of some religious communities. At night I was reading some books of religious life. At night Father Pascal just returned from East Coast.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005.
In the morning Father Rocco flew to Boston and returned on Friday night. I was reading books of religious life. In the afternoon I was cooking pizza and lasagna, just warming them up in the oven. There was one guest coming to join our evening prayer and supper, namely, a sister from California, classmate of Valery at CTU. At night again I was reading a book of religious life.
Thursday, December 15, 2005.
In the morning after breakfast I was reading a book of religious life. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken. In the evening I called my sister up in Jakarta to congratulate her 33 years old’s birthday.
Friday, December 16, 2005.
In the morning Ignas and Valery took me to downtown at the public library and I borrowed some CD’s of learning languages such as Italian, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin and France. I can borrow them for three weeks. I went to the sacrament of reconciliation at Saint Peter Loop downtown and returned home afterward. I went to CTU to renew two books I borrowed last semester and signed up on January 18th for meeting with the director of M.Div, Sister Barbara Bowe, rscj regarding reviewing my courses due to graduation of M.Div in May 2006. In the evening prayer at our community we started the novena of Christmas. At night I was preparing the power point of kaleidoscope of my community till midnight.
Saturday, December 17, 2005.
In the morning I was cleaning the kitchen as usual. At 3 p.m. for 45 minutes I had personnal meeting with my formator, Father Rocco. In the evening we had the second day of Novena of Christmas.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
In the morning together with Valery, I went to St. Therese Church. At 9.30 a.m. I attended the Mass and the Sunday School kids had Christmas celebration. Soon after the Mass, Father Michael invited me to accompany him for shopping at an Italian store, Caputo. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I joined Father Michael on the meditation before the tabernacle of the church. He took me home at Hyde Park.
At 6 p.m. we (Father Rocco, Father Victor, Valery, Harno and I) went to watch a play about Thomas Merton entitled the Hermit in New York, while outside was very cold, about minus 13 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). Upon coming home, I was eating supper and then typing this journal.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
2nd letter of December 2005
2) 3rd Sunday of Advent, December 11, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005.
I attended the last class of presiding in which we had funeral rites as the practicum of group three. At 4.30 p.m. to 5.30 p.m. I attended a lecture by Anthony Gittins. At night I printed out 30-page of my EMP course.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005.
From 8.45 a.m. to 10 a.m. I met three formators in my community. In the afternoon I cooked two chickens that I put on the oven. It’s quite simple and easy to prepare it. In the evening I attended EMP class, the last class at this semester and I submitted the final paper.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005.
This morning is very cold, the temperature is 1 degrees Fahrenheit (-17 degrees Celsius). I attended the last class of Amos in the morning. In the afternoon I attended the Pana Maria Mass at CTU presided by Father Gilberto, OFM. At night I printed out the final paper of Inculturation and Dialogue class as my MA paper.
Thursday, December 08, 2005.
In the morning I attended the last class of Inculturation and Dialogue and submitted the final paper. I borrowed 5 DVD’s from CTU’s library and booked in focus multimedia projector from December 22 to January 3 for the kaleidoscope of my community on December 31 night. Today is heavily snowing in Chicago. In the afternoon Father Victor led the Holy hour with rosary of luminous mystery. In the evening we had community meeting only for one hour.
Friday, December 09, 2005.
In the morning I typed some events I recorded on my journal this year for the community’s kaleidoscope. At noon to one p.m. I went to CTU to meet Father Fragomeni to review my last Indonesian Mass I did at Saint Therese Chinatown but he did not watch it, instead he treated us (4 students: Peter, svd, Michael, svd, Long Phi, svd and me) to have lunch at CTU’s cafeteria and informally talking about our second Mass we taped personally. At the end of the review, he gave me grade of Pass plus and the rest of the students (11 seminarians) only got Pass. It doesn’t effect on the grade, anyhow. From Father Victor, I got two sandisks of memory card for my camera bought by Darwin. Each has 512 MB and costs $ 13 each. It’s good deal. With this one 512 MB, I could take 600 pictures.
Saturday, December 10, 2005.
I worked at the kitchen in the morning as usual. It is a good day to rest and watch DVD’s. This noon, the friend of Angelina, namely, Shirly Sylviana, left for Indonesia after having training at Saint Charles, Illinois for 5 days. She works at IT of Accenture. Have a safe trip and we are glad to meet you. Success for you and keep in touch.
Sunday, December 11, 2005.
In the morning I went to Saint Therese Chinatown with Valery by CTA bus and train. I attended the 9.30 Mass and shared the communion. 10.45 a.m. to noon together with Cesare, I was teaching the confirmation class. All 6 students came this time and I took pictures with them before they have long vacation till next year. We meet again on January 8, 2006. I have made a list for them to serve at the altar as alter servers starting on January 8. There’s Indonesian Mass presided by Father Edi, osc. Bu Imelda this time cooked rawon. A poetry written by Ibu Imelda Palmas, I read it passionately to say farewell words to Nick, the musician/guitarist and singer at the Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago. He returns to Indonesia next week.
This afternoon Father Michael left for Franklin for his personal retreat, so I did meditation only with Edi Liang at the church. Only both of us attended this weekly prayer. Afterward, I went to Edi’s house to cut my hair. With the kindness of Edi, I could do my own vow to cut all of my hair as soon as my fall semester 2005 ends and all of my assignment and paper done. This the third time I am bald in the USA. I am glad to finish this semester earlier so I can do the power point for the community kaleidoscope.
Monday, December 05, 2005.
I attended the last class of presiding in which we had funeral rites as the practicum of group three. At 4.30 p.m. to 5.30 p.m. I attended a lecture by Anthony Gittins. At night I printed out 30-page of my EMP course.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005.
From 8.45 a.m. to 10 a.m. I met three formators in my community. In the afternoon I cooked two chickens that I put on the oven. It’s quite simple and easy to prepare it. In the evening I attended EMP class, the last class at this semester and I submitted the final paper.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005.
This morning is very cold, the temperature is 1 degrees Fahrenheit (-17 degrees Celsius). I attended the last class of Amos in the morning. In the afternoon I attended the Pana Maria Mass at CTU presided by Father Gilberto, OFM. At night I printed out the final paper of Inculturation and Dialogue class as my MA paper.
Thursday, December 08, 2005.
In the morning I attended the last class of Inculturation and Dialogue and submitted the final paper. I borrowed 5 DVD’s from CTU’s library and booked in focus multimedia projector from December 22 to January 3 for the kaleidoscope of my community on December 31 night. Today is heavily snowing in Chicago. In the afternoon Father Victor led the Holy hour with rosary of luminous mystery. In the evening we had community meeting only for one hour.
Friday, December 09, 2005.
In the morning I typed some events I recorded on my journal this year for the community’s kaleidoscope. At noon to one p.m. I went to CTU to meet Father Fragomeni to review my last Indonesian Mass I did at Saint Therese Chinatown but he did not watch it, instead he treated us (4 students: Peter, svd, Michael, svd, Long Phi, svd and me) to have lunch at CTU’s cafeteria and informally talking about our second Mass we taped personally. At the end of the review, he gave me grade of Pass plus and the rest of the students (11 seminarians) only got Pass. It doesn’t effect on the grade, anyhow. From Father Victor, I got two sandisks of memory card for my camera bought by Darwin. Each has 512 MB and costs $ 13 each. It’s good deal. With this one 512 MB, I could take 600 pictures.
Saturday, December 10, 2005.
I worked at the kitchen in the morning as usual. It is a good day to rest and watch DVD’s. This noon, the friend of Angelina, namely, Shirly Sylviana, left for Indonesia after having training at Saint Charles, Illinois for 5 days. She works at IT of Accenture. Have a safe trip and we are glad to meet you. Success for you and keep in touch.
Sunday, December 11, 2005.
In the morning I went to Saint Therese Chinatown with Valery by CTA bus and train. I attended the 9.30 Mass and shared the communion. 10.45 a.m. to noon together with Cesare, I was teaching the confirmation class. All 6 students came this time and I took pictures with them before they have long vacation till next year. We meet again on January 8, 2006. I have made a list for them to serve at the altar as alter servers starting on January 8. There’s Indonesian Mass presided by Father Edi, osc. Bu Imelda this time cooked rawon. A poetry written by Ibu Imelda Palmas, I read it passionately to say farewell words to Nick, the musician/guitarist and singer at the Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago. He returns to Indonesia next week.
This afternoon Father Michael left for Franklin for his personal retreat, so I did meditation only with Edi Liang at the church. Only both of us attended this weekly prayer. Afterward, I went to Edi’s house to cut my hair. With the kindness of Edi, I could do my own vow to cut all of my hair as soon as my fall semester 2005 ends and all of my assignment and paper done. This the third time I am bald in the USA. I am glad to finish this semester earlier so I can do the power point for the community kaleidoscope.
Monday, December 05, 2005
1st letter of December 2005
1) 2nd Sunday of Advent, December 04, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and read some articles in the library. At 1 p.m. in my presiding class, we had the rite of marriage between a Lutheran and a Catholic outside of the Mass by another group. At 5 p.m. in our community I led the lectio divina in reflecting Saint Francis Xavier’s favorite verse in the Gospel of Mark: 8:34 - 9:1. This afternoon I got birthday card from Father Luigi Menegazzo, s.x.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005.
In the morning I did type presentation of Inculturation and Dialogue class for this coming Thursday. In the evening I had class of EMP/one of the Integrating Core courses at CTU.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005.
I attended Amos class in the morning. In the afternoon I did type my final paper of EMP class, about 30 pages.
Thursday, December 01, 2005.
Today is snowing and I took some pictures of this beautiful season. I attended class of Chia and presented our dialogue with Theravadan Buddhism in the group. In the beginning of the presentation, I was chanting of the Pali language of Buddhism. I went to CVS store to print my pictures and sent them with my Christmas cards to some of my friends and families in Indonesia. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken and rice. In the evening we had a community meeting talking about our planning of St. Francis Xavier celebration. At night I prepared my reflection for tomorrow morning Mass.
Friday, December 02, 2005.
In the morning Mass I shared my reflection about 4 candles which I called candles of Peace, Faith, Love and Hope. The last is the one should be shined all the time in our life as God’s children. In the morning I went to St. Therese Church to accompany the third graders of St. Therese primary school. There were 15 kids (8 girls and 7 boys). I accompanied them to watch a Cartoon video and played some games with them. They are typical of their age whose characteristics of noisy, telling plainly and honestly what they feel and know. They are similar with the children I met in Indonesia in term of their behavior. I was happy to be with them until 1 p.m. For the lunch Father Michael, s.x. provided Pizza for all of us. I went home after buying some food at Chinese store and in the afternoon I cooked again for my community in Hyde Park. In the supper, we celebrated the birthday of Dharmawan (29). In the evening I was writing my 32 Christmas cards to be sent to Indonesia. I gave them to my guest, Shirly, who comes on Saturday.
Saturday, December 03, 2005.
In the morning I was cleaning the first floor and prepared the table for our feast of St. Francis Xavier today. In the afternoon at a quarter to four, Shirly, a friend of mine from Jakarta came to our house in Hyde Park. She stayed overnight and joined our celebration of St. Francis Xavier. At 4 p.m. together with 5 OMI’s (one priest and 4 students), we were celebrating the Mass and followed by supper. We are altogether 19 (including Father Michael who came afterward during the supper) people, singing, eating, talking, etc. At 8.30 p.m. we, the Indonesian students at the Xaverians (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno and I) took our guest, Shirly to downtown Chicago by night. It was snowing and foggy. We took some pictures there till midnight we returned home.
Sunday, December 04, 2005.
At 8 a.m. I attended the Mass at St. Thomas Church here at Hyde Park. At 11 a.m. I accompanied Shirly to go to Saint Therese Church Chinatown, just to see Chinatown Chicago, Sears Tower, downtown Chicago, Water Tower Mall, etc. We returned home at 5 p.m. that was already dark. At 6 p.m. Ignas gave Shirly a ride to go to her training center at Saint Charles, Illinois, about 40 miles from our house. We helped her to reach her room and we said Good Bye afterward. She is going to leave for Indonesia on Saturday. She only has chance to see downtown Chicago before she starts her training on Monday to Friday, so it’s a privilege for me to welcome her in Chicago. I am glad that what we have planned before through Internet correspondence finally has been real coming true as it is. She is a roommate of Angelina, my friend in Jakarta. Through real and true friendship we witness the goodness of the Lord.
Monday, November 28, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and read some articles in the library. At 1 p.m. in my presiding class, we had the rite of marriage between a Lutheran and a Catholic outside of the Mass by another group. At 5 p.m. in our community I led the lectio divina in reflecting Saint Francis Xavier’s favorite verse in the Gospel of Mark: 8:34 - 9:1. This afternoon I got birthday card from Father Luigi Menegazzo, s.x.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005.
In the morning I did type presentation of Inculturation and Dialogue class for this coming Thursday. In the evening I had class of EMP/one of the Integrating Core courses at CTU.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005.
I attended Amos class in the morning. In the afternoon I did type my final paper of EMP class, about 30 pages.
Thursday, December 01, 2005.
Today is snowing and I took some pictures of this beautiful season. I attended class of Chia and presented our dialogue with Theravadan Buddhism in the group. In the beginning of the presentation, I was chanting of the Pali language of Buddhism. I went to CVS store to print my pictures and sent them with my Christmas cards to some of my friends and families in Indonesia. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken and rice. In the evening we had a community meeting talking about our planning of St. Francis Xavier celebration. At night I prepared my reflection for tomorrow morning Mass.
Friday, December 02, 2005.
In the morning Mass I shared my reflection about 4 candles which I called candles of Peace, Faith, Love and Hope. The last is the one should be shined all the time in our life as God’s children. In the morning I went to St. Therese Church to accompany the third graders of St. Therese primary school. There were 15 kids (8 girls and 7 boys). I accompanied them to watch a Cartoon video and played some games with them. They are typical of their age whose characteristics of noisy, telling plainly and honestly what they feel and know. They are similar with the children I met in Indonesia in term of their behavior. I was happy to be with them until 1 p.m. For the lunch Father Michael, s.x. provided Pizza for all of us. I went home after buying some food at Chinese store and in the afternoon I cooked again for my community in Hyde Park. In the supper, we celebrated the birthday of Dharmawan (29). In the evening I was writing my 32 Christmas cards to be sent to Indonesia. I gave them to my guest, Shirly, who comes on Saturday.
Saturday, December 03, 2005.
In the morning I was cleaning the first floor and prepared the table for our feast of St. Francis Xavier today. In the afternoon at a quarter to four, Shirly, a friend of mine from Jakarta came to our house in Hyde Park. She stayed overnight and joined our celebration of St. Francis Xavier. At 4 p.m. together with 5 OMI’s (one priest and 4 students), we were celebrating the Mass and followed by supper. We are altogether 19 (including Father Michael who came afterward during the supper) people, singing, eating, talking, etc. At 8.30 p.m. we, the Indonesian students at the Xaverians (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno and I) took our guest, Shirly to downtown Chicago by night. It was snowing and foggy. We took some pictures there till midnight we returned home.
Sunday, December 04, 2005.
At 8 a.m. I attended the Mass at St. Thomas Church here at Hyde Park. At 11 a.m. I accompanied Shirly to go to Saint Therese Church Chinatown, just to see Chinatown Chicago, Sears Tower, downtown Chicago, Water Tower Mall, etc. We returned home at 5 p.m. that was already dark. At 6 p.m. Ignas gave Shirly a ride to go to her training center at Saint Charles, Illinois, about 40 miles from our house. We helped her to reach her room and we said Good Bye afterward. She is going to leave for Indonesia on Saturday. She only has chance to see downtown Chicago before she starts her training on Monday to Friday, so it’s a privilege for me to welcome her in Chicago. I am glad that what we have planned before through Internet correspondence finally has been real coming true as it is. She is a roommate of Angelina, my friend in Jakarta. Through real and true friendship we witness the goodness of the Lord.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
4th letter of November 2005
4) 1st Sunday of Advent, November 27, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005.
Today is the special day for me because I have a group assignment of presiding class to present both rites of infant baptism and reception of a baptized Christian into full communion in the Eucharist/Mass. Fortunately in the morning there was no Amos class so that I could prepare myself for the presiding class. At 10.40 a.m. my group member, Joseph, a Holy Spiritan student, picked me up and we went to CTU. We arranged the 6th floor chapel of CTU for our practicum. We had time to rehearse the rites. Sharply at 1.30 p.m. the professor, Father Fragomeni came in to the chapel and we were about ready to begin. I was acting as a priest/presider, Joseph as a deacon who preached, Peter (an SVD deacon from China) as acolyte and Long Phi, svd as music minister (guitar). With the kindness and help of an Indonesian Catholic couple, namely, Darwin-Astrid plus their on year old son, Leonard, and Edi Liang, I could do this rites. I baptized Leonard and received Darwin into full communion of Catholic Church in this Mass. Overall the celebration that lasted 55 minutes was successfully running smoothly. Pascal Atumisi helped me tape this celebration with handycam. After having a break, we had evaluation of the celebration and the professor gave us praise and some suggestions. He gave us an A that made us happy as a group who has prepared it since a couple of weeks ago. There were some minor mistakes but not really significant to the general celebration. At 4 p.m. I invited Darwin-Astrid plus Leonard and Edy to have dinner at a Thai restaurant on 55th street. They gave me a ride to go home at Hyde Park, the Xaverian house. I am very satisfied by the result of today’s experience. What I have prepared with my group worked out very well done. My heartfelt gratitude to all of my group members and especially Darwin-Astrid who have come to my class and supported me in this presiding requirement with allowing Leonard, their son to be baptized. Thank you also to Edi who has been the godparent and sponsor.
I went home at 5.15 p.m. and joined the lectio divina in our community. At night I transferred the rite of infant baptism I did at CTU’s chapel into VHS tape so that I have memorable tape and I am going to share is as well to Darwin-Astrid.
At night I called up Paulus in the Xaverian philosophy Jakarta to ask him his final project. I congratulated him for his successful exam of his final thesis and keep pray for him to fulfill his test on December 5th for comprehensive exam. Good luck, Paul.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005.
In the morning I prepared the final paper of EMP class which due time on December 6th while I transferred my Indonesian Mass I did at Saint Therese Chinatown last Saturday and the infant baptism to VHS tapes. I am glad that finally I have done the big projects of presiding practicum, namely, three Masses that I have recorded in the VHS tape. It is important for me to review again when the priesthood ordination is going to happen in 2007 perhaps, so I will not forget how to preside the Mass. In the evening I attended EMP class in which there was a guest named Kathy Kelly (an Irish descent from Boston), whose rich experience dealing with social justice issue in practice. She has been traveling back and forth to Iraq for 26 times. She has experienced put into jailed for 60 times because of her hard voice of human rights. We had interesting class with her, not only theory but also simulation in creative ways.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005.
In the morning it’s snowing lightly but in the afternoon it disappeared. I attended Amos class in the morning and I did meet three professors to fulfill my assignment of practicing sacrament of reconciliation in my presiding class. First of all, I met Edmund Chia, then I met Father Paul LaChance, ofm in the cafeteria. I had plenty of time to do some annotated bibliography at the library for the presiding class and at 2 p.m. I met Father Ken O’Malley, cp to have the last confession. I was acting as a priest/confessor. I was struck by the action of Father O’Malley who was acting as a girl who confessed to me in a confession box with screen (part of the scenario). He directly speaking a lot of things without starting the sign of the cross….after he finished talking, I tried to explain that we missed the process of the confession, then suddenly he told me that he passed out/fainted. I couldn’t understand what he meant, but he was so kind explaining to me that it’s really happen in his own experience as a priest that a girl passed out in the box of confession, and I supposed to tell others who in line outside of the confession to help her. But, I didn’t really understand what’s going on until he told me this story. I didn’t need to repeat again but he is willing to write the evaluation. I’m glad of this new insight that I never heard and experienced, even in the class of presiding. I went home in the afternoon with happiness that I have done my three confession assignments.
Thursday, November 24, 2005.
Today is my birthday of 31st year and the fourth time I have in the U.S.A. It is coincided with the Thanksgiving Day in this country. What a beautiful and wonderful grace to be celebrated and remembered. We as community of the Xaverians at Hyde Park, went to Saint Therese Church for celebrating the Thanksgiving Day. We attended the Mass at 10 a.m. presided by Father Aniello and other Xaverian fathers. There were 11 Xaverian priests coming to this feast, from three different communities, namely, Saint Therese Chinatown, Franklin-Milwaukee and Hyde Park-Chicago. They are Fathers Michael, Aniello, Larry, Dominic, Adolph, Victor Moselle, Alfredo, Rocco, Victor Bongiovanni, Pascal and Willy. All 8 Xaverian students came as well (Alejandro, Denny, Ignatius, Dharmawan, Pascal, Harno, Valery and Francois). Father Michael and other volunteers cooked and prepared the food for this annual event. It is the first time I ever experienced the three Xaverian communities celebrating the Thanksgiving Day together. It’s a wonderful moment in fraternal togetherness as Xaverians that lasted shortly after the lunch. In the prayer before the meal, Father Michael led the prayer and mentioned the intention of my birthday.
Together with Dharmawan, I went to Edi-Lisa’s house and at 3 p.m. we went home at Hyde Park. In the evening again we’re invited to Edi-Lisa’s house to have dinner of SUSHI, Japanese food, made by two Indonesian couples (Edi-Lisa, Darwin-Astrid) plus Theresia. We went home at 10 p.m. while the weather was very cold.
Friday, November 25, 2005.
Today I did not go outside because the weather was very cold and in the evening the snow fell down adorning the white November season before Christmas. I enjoyed the day off and did little work on my paper of presiding class.
Saturday, November 26, 2005.
We had Mass still at 8 a.m. then had breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. At 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. I met Father Rocco for personal formation (colloquium). I went to CTU to take a letter of the evaluation of the Sacrament of Reconciliation I did last Wednesday with one faculty member at CTU. The weather was very nice, much warmer than last days. While I came to CTU, I saw the five-floor CTU building is already put the glass windows. It’s pretty fast in building it. In the evening after the supper, I did a paper on the presiding class about My Self Understanding as a Minister of Reconciliation as I share at the end of this journal.
Sunday, November 27, 2005.
Today I woke up at 8 a.m. and we (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno and Valery plus me) went to Saint Therese parish, Chinatown by car. I helped to serve at the Mass by distributing communion with Deacon Paul, svd. There’s no CCD/confirmation class today because of Thanksgiving holidays. At 11 a.m. there’s Mandarin Mass. From Darwin I got walkie-talkie that works very well. At 1 p.m. there’s Philippines-Italian wedding led by Father Michael at Saint Therese Church. At 3 to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation as usual guided by Father Michael then some of the parishioners gathered to plan the Chinese New Year celebration for next year. The weather was not that cold, around 46 degrees Fahrenheit and it’s just raining. I went home while the raining was stopped already. In the supper we celebrated my birthday (31). I got a blue shirt prepared by Pascal Atumisi. It’s been my 4th birthdays in the U.S.A. Afterward we (Father Rocco, Pascal Atumisi and I) met for liturgical team planning for tomorrow in a week.
Denny Wahyudi, S.X. (December 05, 2005)
Reflection on Presiding Class
MY SELF UNDERSTANDING AS A MINISTER OF RECONCILIATION
In my experience as a Catholic fellow, I have accustomed to come to the sacrament of reconciliation since I joined the Xaverian Missionaries in 1996 in Indonesia. The formators provided this internal forum for each one of us who were willing to confess our sins in monthly basis both in the novitiate and philosophy house. Before I entered the Xaverian, I was very seldom to come to this sacrament because I was hesitated and shy to confess my sins. After being a seminarian this spiritual practice slowly becomes my own habit even when I move to the U.S.A. for theology study. Even though here in the U.S.A. the formators normally do not provide priest for confession in monthly basis, but I have conviction that I should take care of this business by myself. I have self-conviction and self-confidence that if I do not keep this spiritual piety, I would not be a good confessor when I am being a priest someday. I have tried my best to go to Saint Peter Loop Church for this monthly personal spiritual act. After I take the presiding class this Fall Semester 2005 at CTU, I become aware of the ritual structure of the sacrament itself. Many times my professor, Father Fragomeni gave us examples how to be a good and effective confessor. I am glad that I know the ritual and memorize it by doing it in the practice with my friends. The more I practice it the more I get a custom to do it. Once I went to Saint Peter Loop Church, I learned of the priest who received my confession. The way he did the ritual reminded and led me to the ritual structure.
In my process toward priesthood, I have full conviction of the sacrament of reconciliation. It is simply that if I do not believe fully on this sacrament, why I should be a priest in the Roman Catholic Church. My conviction is that before I am really becoming a priest whose ministry of reconciliation, I should have a habit to go to confession. I experience how wonderful is the grace of this sacrament that I privilege to have as I do it monthly in the personal spiritual exercise. I was struck when I heard of one Canon Law professor at CTU who said that in his experience teaching at CTU, many seminarians who took his class had been long time did not go to the sacrament of reconciliation. He claimed that if one does not have a custom to go to confession, most likely one would not do a good job as a confessor. It is a rule of his that I do agree with. In the other source I have read mentions that the effective confessor is the one who likes to be a prayerful man. It is certainly making sense to me that a confessor should lead the confesee by his virtue and closeness to God. I have learned many times this rite by practice it in English but I do not know yet how to do it in Indonesian language. Probably, I will learn of this rite in Indonesian by reading the book of sacrament of reconciliation.
In my future ministry as a confessor, I should distinguish between sacrament, spiritual direction and spiritual counseling. I have some principles that I have to apply to this sacrament, such as, I have to be patient and full of compassion accepting others coming to the sacrament, to be a good listener, to be attentive to the case that a penitent tells to me, to be faithful to keep secret of the seal of confession, to be short in counseling after one confesses his/her sins, to be creative and helpful in giving the penance, to be aware of the time and place I give the confession, not to be rush or thinking many other things, to be meditative in serving this ministry, to see-hear-seek-love God in others who are willing to confess, to be aware that God is present in those people who come to the confession, to be humble before God and penitents with gentle voice and proper treatment, to have good desire and zeal to serve people who want to receive this sacrament that sometimes does not give a consolation or praise and reward of others because it is a hidden ministry that happens normally in a closed and screened box without knowing who come to the confession. I can say that if I fall into a laziness attitude to practice this ministry, most likely it is a sign that I do not love my vocation to be a priest any longer.
In my experience to do this sacrament of reconciliation as my professor assigns me to meet three other faculty members at CTU, I have done good jobs. In the beginning I have conviction knowing this rite very well and I was not nervous at all. I prepared a Scripture to read it at the confession (Romans 7: 14-25). In the first confession, I met a professor who gave me insight that I should give a penance heavier than only a prayer and good treatment toward the family of the penitent. I think it is a good input that I have to consider his/her proposal of doing the penance as my professor suggested at the presiding class. The second confession nicely I did in fully and complete structure. I was struck when the confesee told me that he is a priest and a professor at a seminary. But, luckily I could went through the ritual properly. The last one was really made me wondered and gave me insight to anticipate unexpected situation in a different setting of confession because he told me that it is a long line confession and he acted as a girl who was sick in breaking the law of God in keeping purity as a virgin, namely in the story she had intercourse with her boyfriend. In the scenario, she entered the confession directly talking and talking about her experience. After she finished talking, I told her that I should start with the sign of the cross then I was about ready to read the Scripture but she passed out without I knew it. I did not know that she was fainted because it was happened in a closed-screened box of confession. If I knew that she was fainted, certainly I would ask help of others who were in line outside for the confession. Most likely, if I did not hear her voice any longer, of course, I would ask help of others to see her or I would come out to check her what was going on at the other side of the confession box. It is a practical thing that maybe very seldom happening in the real life but it is a good insight I ever learn of the third person I have met at this act of confession. This is certainly the most unique one I ever have in this confession practice.
Overall, I learn how to be a good confessor as a priest in this presiding class. I know that now I have idealistic ways how to do the confession, namely, to be a good listener and good confessor but in reality I do not know what I am going to be when I will be a priest in near future. At least, by this reflection, I have dreams to practice my ministry as an ordained minister of the Catholic Church in proper and compassionate way. Like God, the Father who always waits for human beings to come to confess and ask blessing, so do I have to act likewise even though I am not a perfect man and I also a sinner who tries to serve God’s people through the ministry of the Church. In humility, good zeal, conviction and surrendering in God’s grace through the Holy Spirit, I believe I can carry this wonderful and privilege duty as ministry of the Church to help others to be closer to God in Christ Jesus.
Monday, November 21, 2005.
Today is the special day for me because I have a group assignment of presiding class to present both rites of infant baptism and reception of a baptized Christian into full communion in the Eucharist/Mass. Fortunately in the morning there was no Amos class so that I could prepare myself for the presiding class. At 10.40 a.m. my group member, Joseph, a Holy Spiritan student, picked me up and we went to CTU. We arranged the 6th floor chapel of CTU for our practicum. We had time to rehearse the rites. Sharply at 1.30 p.m. the professor, Father Fragomeni came in to the chapel and we were about ready to begin. I was acting as a priest/presider, Joseph as a deacon who preached, Peter (an SVD deacon from China) as acolyte and Long Phi, svd as music minister (guitar). With the kindness and help of an Indonesian Catholic couple, namely, Darwin-Astrid plus their on year old son, Leonard, and Edi Liang, I could do this rites. I baptized Leonard and received Darwin into full communion of Catholic Church in this Mass. Overall the celebration that lasted 55 minutes was successfully running smoothly. Pascal Atumisi helped me tape this celebration with handycam. After having a break, we had evaluation of the celebration and the professor gave us praise and some suggestions. He gave us an A that made us happy as a group who has prepared it since a couple of weeks ago. There were some minor mistakes but not really significant to the general celebration. At 4 p.m. I invited Darwin-Astrid plus Leonard and Edy to have dinner at a Thai restaurant on 55th street. They gave me a ride to go home at Hyde Park, the Xaverian house. I am very satisfied by the result of today’s experience. What I have prepared with my group worked out very well done. My heartfelt gratitude to all of my group members and especially Darwin-Astrid who have come to my class and supported me in this presiding requirement with allowing Leonard, their son to be baptized. Thank you also to Edi who has been the godparent and sponsor.
I went home at 5.15 p.m. and joined the lectio divina in our community. At night I transferred the rite of infant baptism I did at CTU’s chapel into VHS tape so that I have memorable tape and I am going to share is as well to Darwin-Astrid.
At night I called up Paulus in the Xaverian philosophy Jakarta to ask him his final project. I congratulated him for his successful exam of his final thesis and keep pray for him to fulfill his test on December 5th for comprehensive exam. Good luck, Paul.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005.
In the morning I prepared the final paper of EMP class which due time on December 6th while I transferred my Indonesian Mass I did at Saint Therese Chinatown last Saturday and the infant baptism to VHS tapes. I am glad that finally I have done the big projects of presiding practicum, namely, three Masses that I have recorded in the VHS tape. It is important for me to review again when the priesthood ordination is going to happen in 2007 perhaps, so I will not forget how to preside the Mass. In the evening I attended EMP class in which there was a guest named Kathy Kelly (an Irish descent from Boston), whose rich experience dealing with social justice issue in practice. She has been traveling back and forth to Iraq for 26 times. She has experienced put into jailed for 60 times because of her hard voice of human rights. We had interesting class with her, not only theory but also simulation in creative ways.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005.
In the morning it’s snowing lightly but in the afternoon it disappeared. I attended Amos class in the morning and I did meet three professors to fulfill my assignment of practicing sacrament of reconciliation in my presiding class. First of all, I met Edmund Chia, then I met Father Paul LaChance, ofm in the cafeteria. I had plenty of time to do some annotated bibliography at the library for the presiding class and at 2 p.m. I met Father Ken O’Malley, cp to have the last confession. I was acting as a priest/confessor. I was struck by the action of Father O’Malley who was acting as a girl who confessed to me in a confession box with screen (part of the scenario). He directly speaking a lot of things without starting the sign of the cross….after he finished talking, I tried to explain that we missed the process of the confession, then suddenly he told me that he passed out/fainted. I couldn’t understand what he meant, but he was so kind explaining to me that it’s really happen in his own experience as a priest that a girl passed out in the box of confession, and I supposed to tell others who in line outside of the confession to help her. But, I didn’t really understand what’s going on until he told me this story. I didn’t need to repeat again but he is willing to write the evaluation. I’m glad of this new insight that I never heard and experienced, even in the class of presiding. I went home in the afternoon with happiness that I have done my three confession assignments.
Thursday, November 24, 2005.
Today is my birthday of 31st year and the fourth time I have in the U.S.A. It is coincided with the Thanksgiving Day in this country. What a beautiful and wonderful grace to be celebrated and remembered. We as community of the Xaverians at Hyde Park, went to Saint Therese Church for celebrating the Thanksgiving Day. We attended the Mass at 10 a.m. presided by Father Aniello and other Xaverian fathers. There were 11 Xaverian priests coming to this feast, from three different communities, namely, Saint Therese Chinatown, Franklin-Milwaukee and Hyde Park-Chicago. They are Fathers Michael, Aniello, Larry, Dominic, Adolph, Victor Moselle, Alfredo, Rocco, Victor Bongiovanni, Pascal and Willy. All 8 Xaverian students came as well (Alejandro, Denny, Ignatius, Dharmawan, Pascal, Harno, Valery and Francois). Father Michael and other volunteers cooked and prepared the food for this annual event. It is the first time I ever experienced the three Xaverian communities celebrating the Thanksgiving Day together. It’s a wonderful moment in fraternal togetherness as Xaverians that lasted shortly after the lunch. In the prayer before the meal, Father Michael led the prayer and mentioned the intention of my birthday.
Together with Dharmawan, I went to Edi-Lisa’s house and at 3 p.m. we went home at Hyde Park. In the evening again we’re invited to Edi-Lisa’s house to have dinner of SUSHI, Japanese food, made by two Indonesian couples (Edi-Lisa, Darwin-Astrid) plus Theresia. We went home at 10 p.m. while the weather was very cold.
Friday, November 25, 2005.
Today I did not go outside because the weather was very cold and in the evening the snow fell down adorning the white November season before Christmas. I enjoyed the day off and did little work on my paper of presiding class.
Saturday, November 26, 2005.
We had Mass still at 8 a.m. then had breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. At 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. I met Father Rocco for personal formation (colloquium). I went to CTU to take a letter of the evaluation of the Sacrament of Reconciliation I did last Wednesday with one faculty member at CTU. The weather was very nice, much warmer than last days. While I came to CTU, I saw the five-floor CTU building is already put the glass windows. It’s pretty fast in building it. In the evening after the supper, I did a paper on the presiding class about My Self Understanding as a Minister of Reconciliation as I share at the end of this journal.
Sunday, November 27, 2005.
Today I woke up at 8 a.m. and we (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno and Valery plus me) went to Saint Therese parish, Chinatown by car. I helped to serve at the Mass by distributing communion with Deacon Paul, svd. There’s no CCD/confirmation class today because of Thanksgiving holidays. At 11 a.m. there’s Mandarin Mass. From Darwin I got walkie-talkie that works very well. At 1 p.m. there’s Philippines-Italian wedding led by Father Michael at Saint Therese Church. At 3 to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation as usual guided by Father Michael then some of the parishioners gathered to plan the Chinese New Year celebration for next year. The weather was not that cold, around 46 degrees Fahrenheit and it’s just raining. I went home while the raining was stopped already. In the supper we celebrated my birthday (31). I got a blue shirt prepared by Pascal Atumisi. It’s been my 4th birthdays in the U.S.A. Afterward we (Father Rocco, Pascal Atumisi and I) met for liturgical team planning for tomorrow in a week.
Denny Wahyudi, S.X. (December 05, 2005)
Reflection on Presiding Class
MY SELF UNDERSTANDING AS A MINISTER OF RECONCILIATION
In my experience as a Catholic fellow, I have accustomed to come to the sacrament of reconciliation since I joined the Xaverian Missionaries in 1996 in Indonesia. The formators provided this internal forum for each one of us who were willing to confess our sins in monthly basis both in the novitiate and philosophy house. Before I entered the Xaverian, I was very seldom to come to this sacrament because I was hesitated and shy to confess my sins. After being a seminarian this spiritual practice slowly becomes my own habit even when I move to the U.S.A. for theology study. Even though here in the U.S.A. the formators normally do not provide priest for confession in monthly basis, but I have conviction that I should take care of this business by myself. I have self-conviction and self-confidence that if I do not keep this spiritual piety, I would not be a good confessor when I am being a priest someday. I have tried my best to go to Saint Peter Loop Church for this monthly personal spiritual act. After I take the presiding class this Fall Semester 2005 at CTU, I become aware of the ritual structure of the sacrament itself. Many times my professor, Father Fragomeni gave us examples how to be a good and effective confessor. I am glad that I know the ritual and memorize it by doing it in the practice with my friends. The more I practice it the more I get a custom to do it. Once I went to Saint Peter Loop Church, I learned of the priest who received my confession. The way he did the ritual reminded and led me to the ritual structure.
In my process toward priesthood, I have full conviction of the sacrament of reconciliation. It is simply that if I do not believe fully on this sacrament, why I should be a priest in the Roman Catholic Church. My conviction is that before I am really becoming a priest whose ministry of reconciliation, I should have a habit to go to confession. I experience how wonderful is the grace of this sacrament that I privilege to have as I do it monthly in the personal spiritual exercise. I was struck when I heard of one Canon Law professor at CTU who said that in his experience teaching at CTU, many seminarians who took his class had been long time did not go to the sacrament of reconciliation. He claimed that if one does not have a custom to go to confession, most likely one would not do a good job as a confessor. It is a rule of his that I do agree with. In the other source I have read mentions that the effective confessor is the one who likes to be a prayerful man. It is certainly making sense to me that a confessor should lead the confesee by his virtue and closeness to God. I have learned many times this rite by practice it in English but I do not know yet how to do it in Indonesian language. Probably, I will learn of this rite in Indonesian by reading the book of sacrament of reconciliation.
In my future ministry as a confessor, I should distinguish between sacrament, spiritual direction and spiritual counseling. I have some principles that I have to apply to this sacrament, such as, I have to be patient and full of compassion accepting others coming to the sacrament, to be a good listener, to be attentive to the case that a penitent tells to me, to be faithful to keep secret of the seal of confession, to be short in counseling after one confesses his/her sins, to be creative and helpful in giving the penance, to be aware of the time and place I give the confession, not to be rush or thinking many other things, to be meditative in serving this ministry, to see-hear-seek-love God in others who are willing to confess, to be aware that God is present in those people who come to the confession, to be humble before God and penitents with gentle voice and proper treatment, to have good desire and zeal to serve people who want to receive this sacrament that sometimes does not give a consolation or praise and reward of others because it is a hidden ministry that happens normally in a closed and screened box without knowing who come to the confession. I can say that if I fall into a laziness attitude to practice this ministry, most likely it is a sign that I do not love my vocation to be a priest any longer.
In my experience to do this sacrament of reconciliation as my professor assigns me to meet three other faculty members at CTU, I have done good jobs. In the beginning I have conviction knowing this rite very well and I was not nervous at all. I prepared a Scripture to read it at the confession (Romans 7: 14-25). In the first confession, I met a professor who gave me insight that I should give a penance heavier than only a prayer and good treatment toward the family of the penitent. I think it is a good input that I have to consider his/her proposal of doing the penance as my professor suggested at the presiding class. The second confession nicely I did in fully and complete structure. I was struck when the confesee told me that he is a priest and a professor at a seminary. But, luckily I could went through the ritual properly. The last one was really made me wondered and gave me insight to anticipate unexpected situation in a different setting of confession because he told me that it is a long line confession and he acted as a girl who was sick in breaking the law of God in keeping purity as a virgin, namely in the story she had intercourse with her boyfriend. In the scenario, she entered the confession directly talking and talking about her experience. After she finished talking, I told her that I should start with the sign of the cross then I was about ready to read the Scripture but she passed out without I knew it. I did not know that she was fainted because it was happened in a closed-screened box of confession. If I knew that she was fainted, certainly I would ask help of others who were in line outside for the confession. Most likely, if I did not hear her voice any longer, of course, I would ask help of others to see her or I would come out to check her what was going on at the other side of the confession box. It is a practical thing that maybe very seldom happening in the real life but it is a good insight I ever learn of the third person I have met at this act of confession. This is certainly the most unique one I ever have in this confession practice.
Overall, I learn how to be a good confessor as a priest in this presiding class. I know that now I have idealistic ways how to do the confession, namely, to be a good listener and good confessor but in reality I do not know what I am going to be when I will be a priest in near future. At least, by this reflection, I have dreams to practice my ministry as an ordained minister of the Catholic Church in proper and compassionate way. Like God, the Father who always waits for human beings to come to confess and ask blessing, so do I have to act likewise even though I am not a perfect man and I also a sinner who tries to serve God’s people through the ministry of the Church. In humility, good zeal, conviction and surrendering in God’s grace through the Holy Spirit, I believe I can carry this wonderful and privilege duty as ministry of the Church to help others to be closer to God in Christ Jesus.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
3rd letter of November 2005
3) 34th Sunday in Ordinary Time, November 20, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005.
I attended the Amos class in the morning and presiding class in the afternoon. In the first part of the presiding class I met my group at 6th floor chapel to discuss about our infant baptism next week and the second part we had class at the founder’s room in which some classmates acted of the sacrament of anointing of the sick and the reconciliation. At 5 p.m. in my community Dharmawan led us the lectio divina. At night I revised my draft of Infant Baptism Rite.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005.
In the morning after having breakfast, I went to downtown, the blood center to donate my blood after waiting for three years. Eventually, I could donate it. I was so happy about it. The doctor who took care of me in the blood center is a young Philippines lady who also just lives in the US for three years. They took 500 CC of my blood, which is different with my experience in Indonesia. Normally in Indonesia every donation, I donated about 250-350 CC every three months. So far, I have donated my blood for 30 times. But, in the US I could donate my blood every 8 weeks or two months. After I run to get to a shelter bus, I was almost fainted but fortunately, I was conscious again. It happened maybe because I was running and the weather was little bit cold. I came home happily today after donating my blood and I felt healthier than ever. In the evening I attended EMP class.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005.
This morning I attended the Amos class and in the evening after supper, I went to SVD house to practice my Infant Baptism rite in the group. At 8.30 p.m. for the first time in this Fall season the snow was pouring down even though only for a moment. The temperature was pretty cold, about 26 degrees Fahrenheit (minus 6 degrees Celsius). After arrived home, I revised my draft of Infant Baptism and acceptance in to full communion Rites.
Thursday, November 17, 2005.
In the morning I attended the Inculturation and Dialogue class and we had presentation of our visit to Theravada temple. At night we had a community meeting discussing about the Theology of Mission in the Cosuma document. Today I received three VCD of Buddhist teaching from a Theravada monk whom I visited with my group a couple of weeks ago. The temple whose name Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu is located at Magnolia Avenue, North Chicago.
Friday, November 18, 2005.
At 9 a.m. Father Rocco led us the monthly retreat at our community. This time we reflected upon an article of Ministry and Spirituality. After personal reflection, we gathered again at 11.30 a.m. to share each other. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken, mash potatoes and rice. After the supper, I practiced to say Mass in Indonesian language with Harno at the chapel. Dharmawan helped me to set up the handycam camera for my Indonesian Mass tomorrow.
Saturday, November 19, 2005.
In the morning I did some work at the kitchen, cleaning the stove and laundry. I prepared things for my Indonesian Mass this evening at Saint Therese Chinatown. At 4.20 p.m. we (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno, Atumsi and I) went to Saint Therese Church. After Father Aniello said the Mass at 5 p.m., I did my presiding class assignment, namely, presiding Indonesian Mass with the help of some Indonesian friends. Harno is the musician of organ, Lisa is the cantor, Marvin is the altar server, the cameramen are Dharmawan and Edi, then Ignas and helped me in the offertory of gifts and the faithful prayer. It lasts 1 hour and 5 minutes. Overall, it was well done and my professor, Father Fragomeni will evaluate it on December 5th. I treated the three Indonesian Xaverian at a Chinese restaurant at Chinatown to utter my gratitude for them who have participated and supported me at this presiding Mass.
Sunday, November 20, 2005.
In the morning at 8 a.m. with Valery, I went to Saint Therese Chinatown by CTA. As usual together with Cesare and Deacon Paul, I served at the 9.30 a.m. Mass then at 11 to 12 a.m. we were teaching the Confirmation kids; there were 4 coming at this class; Alex and Priscilla didn’t come. Cesare with his laptop and power point presentation explained the kids about the liturgical year then I explained how to serve as altar server at the Mass. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation at the church guided by Father Michael and followed by two others ladies including Agnes. So, we’re only 4. I returned to Hyde Park and transferred my Indonesian presiding Mass to VHS tape (one hour and 5 minutes).
Here I shared my homily at this Indonesian Mass I have presided on Saturday, but in Indonesian language…..entitled “Paimo and Dinda.”
PAIMO DAN DINDA
Saat ini di Indonesia hidup dan kehidupan serba susah. Harga BBM naik akibatnya terjadi PHK di berbagai perusahaan. Salah satu yang terkena PHK adalah Paimo. Bulan ini Paimo tidak bisa lagi mengirim uang untuk isterinya di kampung halamannya. Ia hanya bisa mengirim surat. Isinya demikian:
Istriku Dinda Tercinta,
Maafkan Kanda sayang, bulan ini Kanda tidak bisa mengirim uang untuk kebutuhan keluarga di rumah. Kanda hanya bisa mengirimmu 1000 ciuman.
Yang paling tercinta,
Kanda Paimo.
Seminggu kemudian Paimo mendapatkan surat balasan dari isteri tercintanya:
Kanda Paimo tersayang terima kasih atas kiriman 1000 ciuman Kanda. Untuk bulan ini dinda akan menyampaikan laporan pengeluaran keluarga sbb:
Tukang minyak bersedia menerima 2 ciuman setiap kali membeli 5 liter minyak tanah. Tukang listrik mau dibayar dengan 4 ciuman per tanggal 10 setiap bulannya. Pemilik kontrakan rumah mau dibayar cicilan dengan 3 kali ciuman setiap harinya. Engkoh pemilik toko bahan makanan tidak mau dibayar pakai ciuman. Ia maunya dibayar dengan yang lain….Yah terpaksa dinda berikan saja.
Hal yang sama juga dinda berikan buat kepala sekolah dan gurunya si Udin yang sudah 3 bulan nunggak uang sekolah….
Besok dinda mau ke pegadaian untuk tukerin 200 ciuman dengan uang tunai, karena yang punya pegadaian sudah bersedia menukarkan 200 ciuman + bayaran lainnya dengan uang 650 ribu rupiah, lumayan buat ongkos sebulan. Keperluan pribadi dinda bulan ini mencapai 50 ciuman.
Kanda tersayang…bulan ini dinda merasa yang paling kaya di kampung karena sekarang dinda memberikan piutang ciuman kepada banyak pemuda di kampung kita dan siap ditukar kapan pun dinda butuhkan. Kanda, dari kanda masih ada 125 ciuman, apakah Kanda punya ide? Atau saya tabung saja yah?
Dari yayang tercinta: Dinda seorang.
Kalau kita menyimak bersama cerita Paimo dan isterinya Dinda dengan modal 1000 ciuman kiriman Paimo ini, pikiran kita langsung ke arah hal yang negatif yaitu melihat situasi Paimo yang sudah di PHK, ia hanya mengirimkan 1000 ciuman dan bukannya uang untuk isteri dan anaknya. Maka logika wajar kita mengarah pada inisiatif Dinda isterinya untuk menjual diri atau menukar ciuman dengan uang atau kewajiban lain yang harus dipenuhi.
Padahal kalau kita cermati bersama Nyonya Paimo alias Dinda ini orangnya cukup “accountable”, jujur dan terpercaya apa adanya, penuh dedikasi dan tanggung jawab akan segala yang ia terima dari suaminya, yaitu 1000 ciuman kiriman suaminya, Paimo ini tidak disia-siakan. Ia pakai untuk memenuhi kebutuhan rumah tangganya. Satu-per-satu perhitungan ciuman dari suaminya itu ditukarkan dengan kebutuhan pokok setiap harinya dari minyak tanah, tukang listrik, uang sekolah anaknya Udin hingga keperluan pribadi sang isteri. Bahkan sisanya pun berupa 125 ciuman masih disimpan sebagai cadangan untuk keperluan pengeluaran tak terduga. Lebih lagi sang isteri minta saran Paimo untuk apa sisa 125 ciuman ini. Singkatnya kalau kata “CIUMAN” ini diartikan sebagai kata kiasan dan bukan arti sesungguhnya yang ditafsirkan sebagai uang/materi/barang/talenta sang isteri sudah bertindak sewajarnya seperti bacaan I dari Kitab Amsal: “Isteri yang cakap siapa yang akan mendapatkannya? Ia lebih berharga daripada pemata. Hati suaminya percaya kepadanya, suaminya tidak akan kekurangan kentungan.” Dinda, Sang isteri ini sudah menjalankan perannya sebagai isteri, ibu rumah tangga dan peran sosialnya di masyarakat dengan penuh tanggung jawab. ISTRI = Istana Surga Tumpuan Rahmat Ilahi. SUAMI = Sumber akan Mendapatkan Impiannya. Ini pesan positifnya.
Namun, kalau kita melihat sisi negatifnya, “CIUMAN” kita artikan sebagai bukan materi atau uang tapi memang benar-benar ciuman, berarti hanya penghiburan moral semata, nalar kita lari pada tindakan sang isteri yang asusila dan tidak terpuji. Ia rela menjual ciuman, menjual diri pada banyak pria untuk memenuhi kebutuhan hidup rumah tangganya. Bagaimana mungkin si isteri setia pada suaminya kalau ia sudah main serong dengan banyak pria lain untuk mendapatkan uang atau melacurkan diri? Kita orang beriman merasa risih mendengar cerita macam ini karena kita mengakui diri kita sebagai orang bermoral dan bersusila, melihat orang-orang yang bekerja sebagai pelacur semacam ini, kita cenderung menghakimi mereka tanpa melihat kasus per kasus bagaimana dan apa di balik perilaku asusila mereka. Kalau kita mau menganalisa lebih lanjut, pasti masalahnya kompleks dan rumit, tidak hanya menyangkut si pelacur tapi juga keluarga dan masyarakat bahkan negara ada di balik itu semua. Padahal dalam masyarakat kita ada orang-orang macam ini, menjual diri. Ada satu wanita di kota saya yang hidup dengan suaminya dan memiliki 6 orang anak yang memiliki wajah berbeda-beda. Orang sering bilang, “Wanita ini dijual oleh suaminya untuk mendapat uang guna memenuhi kebutuhan hidup rumah tangga mereka.” Kisah semacam ini menjadi bahan konsumsi laris-manis bagi orang-orang yang merasa dirinya lebih baik. Bukankah Yesus dalam Injil selalu mengutamakan orang-orang yang berdosa untuk diselamatkan seperti pelacur, pemungut cukai, orang kusta, orang miskin, sampah masyarakat dan minoritas lainnya? Pada akhir zaman orang-orang macam ini akan masuk ke dalam kerajaan surga terlebih dahulu daripada orang-orang yang menyebut dirinya sebagai orang yang kudus dan suci.
Akhirnya refleksi bagi kita adalah: Bagaimana kita menggunakan TALENTA/bakat/modal/ciuman/kasih/iman-harapan-kasih yang kita miliki dan diberikan oleh Tuhan secara cuma-cuma secara bertanggung jawab, berani ambil resiko dengan dasar kasih yang tulus ikhlas demi kebaikan semua dan tidak menyimpannya sendiri untuk kebutuhan pribadi? Intinya memberi dan diberi/ mencintai dan dicintai/ mengasihi dan dikasihi secara timbal-balik sebagi insan manusia memberikan MAKNA tertinggi dalam hidup kita seturut ajaran Tuhan kita Yesus. Semoga kita sekalian sungguh menjadi ISTRI (Istana Surga Tumpuan Rahmat Ilahi) dan SUAMI (Sumber akan Mendapatkan Impiannya) yang bijaksana untuk kebaikan keluarga kita bersama. Amin.
Monday, November 14, 2005.
I attended the Amos class in the morning and presiding class in the afternoon. In the first part of the presiding class I met my group at 6th floor chapel to discuss about our infant baptism next week and the second part we had class at the founder’s room in which some classmates acted of the sacrament of anointing of the sick and the reconciliation. At 5 p.m. in my community Dharmawan led us the lectio divina. At night I revised my draft of Infant Baptism Rite.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005.
In the morning after having breakfast, I went to downtown, the blood center to donate my blood after waiting for three years. Eventually, I could donate it. I was so happy about it. The doctor who took care of me in the blood center is a young Philippines lady who also just lives in the US for three years. They took 500 CC of my blood, which is different with my experience in Indonesia. Normally in Indonesia every donation, I donated about 250-350 CC every three months. So far, I have donated my blood for 30 times. But, in the US I could donate my blood every 8 weeks or two months. After I run to get to a shelter bus, I was almost fainted but fortunately, I was conscious again. It happened maybe because I was running and the weather was little bit cold. I came home happily today after donating my blood and I felt healthier than ever. In the evening I attended EMP class.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005.
This morning I attended the Amos class and in the evening after supper, I went to SVD house to practice my Infant Baptism rite in the group. At 8.30 p.m. for the first time in this Fall season the snow was pouring down even though only for a moment. The temperature was pretty cold, about 26 degrees Fahrenheit (minus 6 degrees Celsius). After arrived home, I revised my draft of Infant Baptism and acceptance in to full communion Rites.
Thursday, November 17, 2005.
In the morning I attended the Inculturation and Dialogue class and we had presentation of our visit to Theravada temple. At night we had a community meeting discussing about the Theology of Mission in the Cosuma document. Today I received three VCD of Buddhist teaching from a Theravada monk whom I visited with my group a couple of weeks ago. The temple whose name Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu is located at Magnolia Avenue, North Chicago.
Friday, November 18, 2005.
At 9 a.m. Father Rocco led us the monthly retreat at our community. This time we reflected upon an article of Ministry and Spirituality. After personal reflection, we gathered again at 11.30 a.m. to share each other. In the afternoon I was cooking chicken, mash potatoes and rice. After the supper, I practiced to say Mass in Indonesian language with Harno at the chapel. Dharmawan helped me to set up the handycam camera for my Indonesian Mass tomorrow.
Saturday, November 19, 2005.
In the morning I did some work at the kitchen, cleaning the stove and laundry. I prepared things for my Indonesian Mass this evening at Saint Therese Chinatown. At 4.20 p.m. we (Ignas, Dharmawan, Harno, Atumsi and I) went to Saint Therese Church. After Father Aniello said the Mass at 5 p.m., I did my presiding class assignment, namely, presiding Indonesian Mass with the help of some Indonesian friends. Harno is the musician of organ, Lisa is the cantor, Marvin is the altar server, the cameramen are Dharmawan and Edi, then Ignas and helped me in the offertory of gifts and the faithful prayer. It lasts 1 hour and 5 minutes. Overall, it was well done and my professor, Father Fragomeni will evaluate it on December 5th. I treated the three Indonesian Xaverian at a Chinese restaurant at Chinatown to utter my gratitude for them who have participated and supported me at this presiding Mass.
Sunday, November 20, 2005.
In the morning at 8 a.m. with Valery, I went to Saint Therese Chinatown by CTA. As usual together with Cesare and Deacon Paul, I served at the 9.30 a.m. Mass then at 11 to 12 a.m. we were teaching the Confirmation kids; there were 4 coming at this class; Alex and Priscilla didn’t come. Cesare with his laptop and power point presentation explained the kids about the liturgical year then I explained how to serve as altar server at the Mass. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation at the church guided by Father Michael and followed by two others ladies including Agnes. So, we’re only 4. I returned to Hyde Park and transferred my Indonesian presiding Mass to VHS tape (one hour and 5 minutes).
Here I shared my homily at this Indonesian Mass I have presided on Saturday, but in Indonesian language…..entitled “Paimo and Dinda.”
PAIMO DAN DINDA
Saat ini di Indonesia hidup dan kehidupan serba susah. Harga BBM naik akibatnya terjadi PHK di berbagai perusahaan. Salah satu yang terkena PHK adalah Paimo. Bulan ini Paimo tidak bisa lagi mengirim uang untuk isterinya di kampung halamannya. Ia hanya bisa mengirim surat. Isinya demikian:
Istriku Dinda Tercinta,
Maafkan Kanda sayang, bulan ini Kanda tidak bisa mengirim uang untuk kebutuhan keluarga di rumah. Kanda hanya bisa mengirimmu 1000 ciuman.
Yang paling tercinta,
Kanda Paimo.
Seminggu kemudian Paimo mendapatkan surat balasan dari isteri tercintanya:
Kanda Paimo tersayang terima kasih atas kiriman 1000 ciuman Kanda. Untuk bulan ini dinda akan menyampaikan laporan pengeluaran keluarga sbb:
Tukang minyak bersedia menerima 2 ciuman setiap kali membeli 5 liter minyak tanah. Tukang listrik mau dibayar dengan 4 ciuman per tanggal 10 setiap bulannya. Pemilik kontrakan rumah mau dibayar cicilan dengan 3 kali ciuman setiap harinya. Engkoh pemilik toko bahan makanan tidak mau dibayar pakai ciuman. Ia maunya dibayar dengan yang lain….Yah terpaksa dinda berikan saja.
Hal yang sama juga dinda berikan buat kepala sekolah dan gurunya si Udin yang sudah 3 bulan nunggak uang sekolah….
Besok dinda mau ke pegadaian untuk tukerin 200 ciuman dengan uang tunai, karena yang punya pegadaian sudah bersedia menukarkan 200 ciuman + bayaran lainnya dengan uang 650 ribu rupiah, lumayan buat ongkos sebulan. Keperluan pribadi dinda bulan ini mencapai 50 ciuman.
Kanda tersayang…bulan ini dinda merasa yang paling kaya di kampung karena sekarang dinda memberikan piutang ciuman kepada banyak pemuda di kampung kita dan siap ditukar kapan pun dinda butuhkan. Kanda, dari kanda masih ada 125 ciuman, apakah Kanda punya ide? Atau saya tabung saja yah?
Dari yayang tercinta: Dinda seorang.
Kalau kita menyimak bersama cerita Paimo dan isterinya Dinda dengan modal 1000 ciuman kiriman Paimo ini, pikiran kita langsung ke arah hal yang negatif yaitu melihat situasi Paimo yang sudah di PHK, ia hanya mengirimkan 1000 ciuman dan bukannya uang untuk isteri dan anaknya. Maka logika wajar kita mengarah pada inisiatif Dinda isterinya untuk menjual diri atau menukar ciuman dengan uang atau kewajiban lain yang harus dipenuhi.
Padahal kalau kita cermati bersama Nyonya Paimo alias Dinda ini orangnya cukup “accountable”, jujur dan terpercaya apa adanya, penuh dedikasi dan tanggung jawab akan segala yang ia terima dari suaminya, yaitu 1000 ciuman kiriman suaminya, Paimo ini tidak disia-siakan. Ia pakai untuk memenuhi kebutuhan rumah tangganya. Satu-per-satu perhitungan ciuman dari suaminya itu ditukarkan dengan kebutuhan pokok setiap harinya dari minyak tanah, tukang listrik, uang sekolah anaknya Udin hingga keperluan pribadi sang isteri. Bahkan sisanya pun berupa 125 ciuman masih disimpan sebagai cadangan untuk keperluan pengeluaran tak terduga. Lebih lagi sang isteri minta saran Paimo untuk apa sisa 125 ciuman ini. Singkatnya kalau kata “CIUMAN” ini diartikan sebagai kata kiasan dan bukan arti sesungguhnya yang ditafsirkan sebagai uang/materi/barang/talenta sang isteri sudah bertindak sewajarnya seperti bacaan I dari Kitab Amsal: “Isteri yang cakap siapa yang akan mendapatkannya? Ia lebih berharga daripada pemata. Hati suaminya percaya kepadanya, suaminya tidak akan kekurangan kentungan.” Dinda, Sang isteri ini sudah menjalankan perannya sebagai isteri, ibu rumah tangga dan peran sosialnya di masyarakat dengan penuh tanggung jawab. ISTRI = Istana Surga Tumpuan Rahmat Ilahi. SUAMI = Sumber akan Mendapatkan Impiannya. Ini pesan positifnya.
Namun, kalau kita melihat sisi negatifnya, “CIUMAN” kita artikan sebagai bukan materi atau uang tapi memang benar-benar ciuman, berarti hanya penghiburan moral semata, nalar kita lari pada tindakan sang isteri yang asusila dan tidak terpuji. Ia rela menjual ciuman, menjual diri pada banyak pria untuk memenuhi kebutuhan hidup rumah tangganya. Bagaimana mungkin si isteri setia pada suaminya kalau ia sudah main serong dengan banyak pria lain untuk mendapatkan uang atau melacurkan diri? Kita orang beriman merasa risih mendengar cerita macam ini karena kita mengakui diri kita sebagai orang bermoral dan bersusila, melihat orang-orang yang bekerja sebagai pelacur semacam ini, kita cenderung menghakimi mereka tanpa melihat kasus per kasus bagaimana dan apa di balik perilaku asusila mereka. Kalau kita mau menganalisa lebih lanjut, pasti masalahnya kompleks dan rumit, tidak hanya menyangkut si pelacur tapi juga keluarga dan masyarakat bahkan negara ada di balik itu semua. Padahal dalam masyarakat kita ada orang-orang macam ini, menjual diri. Ada satu wanita di kota saya yang hidup dengan suaminya dan memiliki 6 orang anak yang memiliki wajah berbeda-beda. Orang sering bilang, “Wanita ini dijual oleh suaminya untuk mendapat uang guna memenuhi kebutuhan hidup rumah tangga mereka.” Kisah semacam ini menjadi bahan konsumsi laris-manis bagi orang-orang yang merasa dirinya lebih baik. Bukankah Yesus dalam Injil selalu mengutamakan orang-orang yang berdosa untuk diselamatkan seperti pelacur, pemungut cukai, orang kusta, orang miskin, sampah masyarakat dan minoritas lainnya? Pada akhir zaman orang-orang macam ini akan masuk ke dalam kerajaan surga terlebih dahulu daripada orang-orang yang menyebut dirinya sebagai orang yang kudus dan suci.
Akhirnya refleksi bagi kita adalah: Bagaimana kita menggunakan TALENTA/bakat/modal/ciuman/kasih/iman-harapan-kasih yang kita miliki dan diberikan oleh Tuhan secara cuma-cuma secara bertanggung jawab, berani ambil resiko dengan dasar kasih yang tulus ikhlas demi kebaikan semua dan tidak menyimpannya sendiri untuk kebutuhan pribadi? Intinya memberi dan diberi/ mencintai dan dicintai/ mengasihi dan dikasihi secara timbal-balik sebagi insan manusia memberikan MAKNA tertinggi dalam hidup kita seturut ajaran Tuhan kita Yesus. Semoga kita sekalian sungguh menjadi ISTRI (Istana Surga Tumpuan Rahmat Ilahi) dan SUAMI (Sumber akan Mendapatkan Impiannya) yang bijaksana untuk kebaikan keluarga kita bersama. Amin.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
2nd letter of November 2005
2) 33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, November 13, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005.
This week the liturgical team in our community is Father Rocco, Harno and me. I attended Amos class in the morning and at 10 to 11.30 at the Bernardin Center, our presiding professor, Father Fragomeni watched our videotape of the first Mass in English. Overall mine is excellent despite some gestures that need to be improved next time. at 1 to 3.45 p.m. I attended the presiding class and we learned how to give sacrament of anointing to the sick person. At 4 to 5 p.m. I attended the colloquia of MA comprehensive exam in which Mary Frohlich, the director of MA, Steve Bevans, svd and Angela, an MA student shared us how to prepare the comps exam. I came home late and joined the lectio divina of the community led by Father Rocco. In the evening Valery asked me favor to see how to choose the courses at CTU for the Spring semester 2006. Delightfully I told him what to do with it.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005.
At my room in the morning I did type my second paper of EMP class for today. While I was doing this paper, Harno came in my room asking advice of his study plan for next Spring semester 2006 and I shared what I know of the CTU system. In the evening I attended the EMP class and submitted my 16 pages paper.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005.
I attended Amos class then I met my M.Div advisor, Gil Ostdiek, ofm to ask his signature for my spring semester courses. I just need two more courses for M.Div program. I am taking three courses for the Spring including two MA courses while in the January term I am taking one capstone/seminar only one credit and one MA spirituality course for three weeks. After supper I studied the Chia’s class until midnight.
Thursday, November 10, 2005.
In the morning I had mid term exam of Chia’s class. Even though I have studied and memorized many things but in the essay questions I did not answer them satisfactorily. I have tried my best to learn of it but I guess my capability to memorize the subject is diminishing due my age. In the evening I cooked rice and Soto Betawi (a sort of beef soup) and pecel (vegetable salad with peanut dressing). The holy hour was led by Father Rocco and we shared our experiencing of someone who impressed us as a icon figure to experience Christ Jesus in our life. We had community meeting at 7.30 p.m. talking about the Cosuma document on Theology of Mission. I prepared the reflection at night for tomorrow’s Mass.
Friday, November 11, 2005.
In the morning Mass I was sharing my experience based on the Gospel today. The first question I addressed was how many days have you been living in this world? I shared that I have been living in this world about 11,350 days and I have been living in the USA for 1,100 days. From 10 a.m. to 11.30 a.m. my presiding group, namely, Joseph, cssp, Long Phi, svd and Peter, svd came to the Xaverian house to plan our group assignment, namely, the Infant Baptism and the rite of Full communion in the catholic church in the Mass. It will be held at CTU on Monday, November 21. Directly after we finished the discussion, I typed the whole rites in English and learned of it since I have role as a presider in this action.
Saturday, November 12, 2005.
Today is the third year of my stay in the USA. I uttered my thanksgiving prayer in the Mass and an exciting day for me because now I can donate my blood to Blood Center in the USA. There is a rule in the USA that I can donate my blood after living consecutively three years here because my country, Indonesia is a malaria risk area. With this promise and agenda, I went to downtown to give my blood. Ignas, Valery and Syafa took me there as they went to shopping. After I came to the building, unfortunately, it’s closed. So, I have to postpone it till Tuesday when I don’t have class in the morning. At least I have to be patient at this thing I have kept in mind since my first months I live in the USA. I went to Chinatown by CTA to buy mustard seed vegetable and went home. I did laundry and ironing my clothes. I was little bit dizzy maybe because my hope to give blood is delayed. I took a nap for a while and cooked rice and pork mustard seed vegetable soup (sayur asin baikut daging babi). In the evening I prepared lesson for the confirmation class tomorrow at Saint Therese church in Chinatown. I went to bed earlier since my headache was still going on.
Sunday, November 13, 2005.
Ignas took Valery and me to Saint Therese at 8 a.m. I met Father Mark Schramm, svd who came to the church to supervise deacon Paul, svd. At 9.30 Mass presided by Father Aniello, deacon Paul was preaching and I participated in distributing communion to the congregation, alternated Cesare, s.j. Father Michael goes to Boston to attend the Chinese Conference with George so Father Aniello presided all Masses. Soon after the Mass finished, I came to the basement to teach the confirmation class. Today all 6 kids came and I gave them a lesson about the Bible with interesting game. They did competition into two groups and it seemed that they enjoyed and bit nervous to win the game. This game worked in Indonesia and it worked as well here in the USA. I’m glad to know their enthusiasm to participate it. They are less trouble than the confirmation group I had two years ago with Petrus. Today there was Indonesian Mass presided by Father Rudi, osc at Saint Therese from 11 a.m. to 12.30 p.m. I met some friends such as Sister Magdalena, SSPs who worked in Mexico City and knows very well Maryono, one Indonesian Xaverian student who studies theology in IFTIM, Mexico. There were about 60 people coming to this Mass. There was a celebration of birthday for Father Jack, c.m. and others who have birthday this month including myself. After the lunch, the Indonesian Catholic group of Chicago had meeting at Saint Therese. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I did meditation with Agnes before the tabernacle. Normally, Father Michael does lead the meditation. Since he is not here today, so I led it as he told me last week. With the kindness of Mulianto, one of the Indonesian Catholic leaders in Chicago, I could go home at Hyde Park soon since I asked him favor to give us (Dharmawan and I) a ride. I returned home at 5.10 p.m. and Father Victor was very happy to see my arrival since he is waiting for me to cook for our community. Fortunately, from Chinatown I got some food, Chinese noodle that was given by Agnes. So, I just warmed it up together with Lasagna I have prepared this morning. In the evening I type this journal in order to keep my faithfulness in writing my story in this weekly journal. In the meditation today at Saint Therese, I was sleepy but after an hour meditation, I felt fresh and healthier than ever and my yesterday headache was gone.
Monday, November 07, 2005.
This week the liturgical team in our community is Father Rocco, Harno and me. I attended Amos class in the morning and at 10 to 11.30 at the Bernardin Center, our presiding professor, Father Fragomeni watched our videotape of the first Mass in English. Overall mine is excellent despite some gestures that need to be improved next time. at 1 to 3.45 p.m. I attended the presiding class and we learned how to give sacrament of anointing to the sick person. At 4 to 5 p.m. I attended the colloquia of MA comprehensive exam in which Mary Frohlich, the director of MA, Steve Bevans, svd and Angela, an MA student shared us how to prepare the comps exam. I came home late and joined the lectio divina of the community led by Father Rocco. In the evening Valery asked me favor to see how to choose the courses at CTU for the Spring semester 2006. Delightfully I told him what to do with it.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005.
At my room in the morning I did type my second paper of EMP class for today. While I was doing this paper, Harno came in my room asking advice of his study plan for next Spring semester 2006 and I shared what I know of the CTU system. In the evening I attended the EMP class and submitted my 16 pages paper.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005.
I attended Amos class then I met my M.Div advisor, Gil Ostdiek, ofm to ask his signature for my spring semester courses. I just need two more courses for M.Div program. I am taking three courses for the Spring including two MA courses while in the January term I am taking one capstone/seminar only one credit and one MA spirituality course for three weeks. After supper I studied the Chia’s class until midnight.
Thursday, November 10, 2005.
In the morning I had mid term exam of Chia’s class. Even though I have studied and memorized many things but in the essay questions I did not answer them satisfactorily. I have tried my best to learn of it but I guess my capability to memorize the subject is diminishing due my age. In the evening I cooked rice and Soto Betawi (a sort of beef soup) and pecel (vegetable salad with peanut dressing). The holy hour was led by Father Rocco and we shared our experiencing of someone who impressed us as a icon figure to experience Christ Jesus in our life. We had community meeting at 7.30 p.m. talking about the Cosuma document on Theology of Mission. I prepared the reflection at night for tomorrow’s Mass.
Friday, November 11, 2005.
In the morning Mass I was sharing my experience based on the Gospel today. The first question I addressed was how many days have you been living in this world? I shared that I have been living in this world about 11,350 days and I have been living in the USA for 1,100 days. From 10 a.m. to 11.30 a.m. my presiding group, namely, Joseph, cssp, Long Phi, svd and Peter, svd came to the Xaverian house to plan our group assignment, namely, the Infant Baptism and the rite of Full communion in the catholic church in the Mass. It will be held at CTU on Monday, November 21. Directly after we finished the discussion, I typed the whole rites in English and learned of it since I have role as a presider in this action.
Saturday, November 12, 2005.
Today is the third year of my stay in the USA. I uttered my thanksgiving prayer in the Mass and an exciting day for me because now I can donate my blood to Blood Center in the USA. There is a rule in the USA that I can donate my blood after living consecutively three years here because my country, Indonesia is a malaria risk area. With this promise and agenda, I went to downtown to give my blood. Ignas, Valery and Syafa took me there as they went to shopping. After I came to the building, unfortunately, it’s closed. So, I have to postpone it till Tuesday when I don’t have class in the morning. At least I have to be patient at this thing I have kept in mind since my first months I live in the USA. I went to Chinatown by CTA to buy mustard seed vegetable and went home. I did laundry and ironing my clothes. I was little bit dizzy maybe because my hope to give blood is delayed. I took a nap for a while and cooked rice and pork mustard seed vegetable soup (sayur asin baikut daging babi). In the evening I prepared lesson for the confirmation class tomorrow at Saint Therese church in Chinatown. I went to bed earlier since my headache was still going on.
Sunday, November 13, 2005.
Ignas took Valery and me to Saint Therese at 8 a.m. I met Father Mark Schramm, svd who came to the church to supervise deacon Paul, svd. At 9.30 Mass presided by Father Aniello, deacon Paul was preaching and I participated in distributing communion to the congregation, alternated Cesare, s.j. Father Michael goes to Boston to attend the Chinese Conference with George so Father Aniello presided all Masses. Soon after the Mass finished, I came to the basement to teach the confirmation class. Today all 6 kids came and I gave them a lesson about the Bible with interesting game. They did competition into two groups and it seemed that they enjoyed and bit nervous to win the game. This game worked in Indonesia and it worked as well here in the USA. I’m glad to know their enthusiasm to participate it. They are less trouble than the confirmation group I had two years ago with Petrus. Today there was Indonesian Mass presided by Father Rudi, osc at Saint Therese from 11 a.m. to 12.30 p.m. I met some friends such as Sister Magdalena, SSPs who worked in Mexico City and knows very well Maryono, one Indonesian Xaverian student who studies theology in IFTIM, Mexico. There were about 60 people coming to this Mass. There was a celebration of birthday for Father Jack, c.m. and others who have birthday this month including myself. After the lunch, the Indonesian Catholic group of Chicago had meeting at Saint Therese. At 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. I did meditation with Agnes before the tabernacle. Normally, Father Michael does lead the meditation. Since he is not here today, so I led it as he told me last week. With the kindness of Mulianto, one of the Indonesian Catholic leaders in Chicago, I could go home at Hyde Park soon since I asked him favor to give us (Dharmawan and I) a ride. I returned home at 5.10 p.m. and Father Victor was very happy to see my arrival since he is waiting for me to cook for our community. Fortunately, from Chinatown I got some food, Chinese noodle that was given by Agnes. So, I just warmed it up together with Lasagna I have prepared this morning. In the evening I type this journal in order to keep my faithfulness in writing my story in this weekly journal. In the meditation today at Saint Therese, I was sleepy but after an hour meditation, I felt fresh and healthier than ever and my yesterday headache was gone.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
1st letter of November 2005
1) 32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time, November 06, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and in the afternoon the presiding class in which Father Fragomeni explained about the Anointing of the sick sacrament. At night I did paper of EMP/ethic class for the group.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005.
In the morning I finished my paper of EMP and sent it via e-mail to my group. At 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. I met Father Rocco for colloquium/formation. At 4.30 p.m. I attended the Mass of the Feast of All the Saints at CTU. The liturgy was in the Asian style. After coming back home for supper, I went to CTU again to have EMP/Ethic class in which I got my first paper (75/75).
Wednesday, November 02, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and in the afternoon I got a post card from my Indonesian friend, Angelina who was sending it from Fatima Shrine in Portugal. At night I wrote my reflection on the visit to a Theravada Buddhist temple a couple of weeks ago. I called up Edi and Darwin to ask favor attending my presiding class group on Monday, November 21 at CTU.
Thursday, November 03, 2005.
In the morning I attended Chia’s class on Inculturation and Dialogue. At night we had community meeting with topic of Cosuma document regards International Theology.
Friday, November 04, 2005.
In the morning my neck and head were nerved painfully. From 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. I met Father Rocco again for personal formation meeting. At 1 p.m. Ignas, Harno and I went to Syafa’s house to celebrate Ramadhan’s day (Muslim feast day). There were some friends there as well and we had lunch. We took Father Jack home at Fullerton. At night I did my paper of EMP/Ethic class. My neck was cured, no more pain.
Saturday, November 05, 2005.
Today is the feast day for the Xaverian Missionaries and we celebrated this founder’s day with Mass at 4 p.m. presided by Father Alfredo Turco in which we, the eight Xaverian students renewed our vows. We are Alejandro, Denny, Ignatius, Dharmawan, Pascal, Harno, Valery and Francois. It was attended by some guests from IRF program of CTU, friends of Father Willy, sx. Father Dominic and Father Larry from Franklin Community, Milwaukee took part as well in this celebration. I helped out Father Rocco preparing the supper as well as Valery. In the middle of the supper Father Aniello from Saint Therese Chinatown joined us in this annual family celebration. Congratulation as well to all students in the five Xaverian International Theology who celebrate this Conforti’s Day and renewal of vows. I know that there are about 80 Xaverian students scattered in five countries, namely, Parma-Italy, Yaounde-Cameroon, Chicago-USA, Manila-the Philippines, and Mexico City-Mexico. We started the Mass at our chapel at 4 p.m. and the feast lasted at 8 p.m. Altogether there were about 20 people at our celebration in Chicago.
Sunday, November 06, 2005.
In the morning together with Valery I went to Saint Therese Church. At 9.30 a.m. I attended the Cantonese Mass. From 11 to 12 p.m. at the Confirmation class, Cesare, s.j. was teaching the five kids about the Saints. I remained there to participate in the meditation led by Father Michael at the church before the tabernacle from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. There were 5 people in this meditation, namely Father Michael, Agnes, Edi and Lisa and myself. I came back to Hyde Park and at 6 p.m. I had meeting with Father Rocco and Harno teaming up as liturgical team for this coming week. After the evening prayer, supper and reading Amos reading, I make photocopy of Indonesian Mass for next two weeks in preparation to do my second assignment of Eucharistic Presiding in my Presiding class at CTU. I plan to have this Mass presiding in Indonesian Mass at Saint Therese Church in Chinatown, the 33rd Sunday Mass, on Saturday, November 19, at 6 p.m. after the Mass of Father Aniello. I invite some Indonesian friends, who live around Chinatown and ask favor of my Indonesian confreres to participate in music and songs.
Denny Wahyudi, SX
My Reflection of the Visit to the Buddhist Temple:
Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu
I am glad that eventually I could contact and make appointment with the Theravada Buddhist monk at Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu Temple, which is located on 4735 North Magnolia Avenue. A couple of times I called up this temple but nobody answered it. Once I got answer but the monk didn’t speak English and he asked a lady to answer me then the lady asked me to call up again later to a Buddhist monk who speaks English. At that time I was not quite sure who is the name of the monk but afterward I called up again I got answer from a monk who speaks English. His name is Bikkhu Ratana. I noticed that his name is similar with the name of the temple and exactly in the middle of the name (Phrasriratanamahadhatu). I knew this temple first time from a Xaverian priest, Michael Davitti who works in Saint Therese Chinese mission in Chinatown Chicago, then I found out on the Internet the website of this temple. It is interesting that the monk was very glad and welcoming us who want to visit and know them. It is a basic attitude of Interreligious Dialogue, openness toward others even otherness. It is exactly I have experienced when I visit Buddhist temple especially the Theravada Buddhist temple in Indonesia in which I ever had experience live-in for 6 days. Their basic behaviors such as humility, respect, warm welcoming and giving things to the guests are exactly the same I have known some of the bikkhus in Indonesia. I was thinking that I did a good choice to visit this temple. According to my research on the Internet, this Theravada Temple is the closest one from CTU so I proposed it to my group. There are two other temples but they are located little bit far away. A lesson of this experience is whenever I have a will and spirit to pursue something that is good I have to be persevering to do it day-by-day until the goal is attained. It can be done with many other things in my life. When I loose the spirit and will, I will lose orientation and fall apart destroying my goal.
One thing that I am impressed until now is that Bikkhu Ratana witnessed of this place where in the past it was very dangerous, a lot of gangs but after they chose this place becomes their temple, the surrounding neighborhood is changing gradually becoming safer and peace area. I could feel it when I entered their temple from the backyard, the peace atmosphere inside the house and the warm welcoming of the residents. Then, I remember one prayer of them saying, “may all creatures in the world will be happy.” I know this motto when I was living in the Theravada Buddhist temple in Central Java for six days. One of the monks explained to me that all creatures mean all human beings, plants, animals and even the dark power or satan or evil spirit. I was wondering that they ask this intention for all in the world regardless enemy or friends. Isn’t it the Christian teaching that we have to pray for others especially our enemies? My conviction is with their peaceful and harmonious spirituality they live it out in their lives, they influence to others especially the neighborhood surround them. I can see their full dedication on the Buddhist teaching and it is evident when Bikkhu Ratana gave us the Chanting Book for each one of us in the group and before we left, he gave us bananas and some cans of drink. I remember again the spirituality of the Buddhist that whenever they can do give to others, they will do earnestly. They believe in Karma. When I called him up to make an appointment, he answered me not to bring anything to give to the Temple. The spirituality of giving to others is really struck me as a Christian and a religious. Their generosity toward the poor and their compassionate action give me example to do so. Before we left, he tried to find a CD of the Buddhist Dharma/ teaching in English but he couldn’t find it and he asked our address for sending the CD even though until now I do not receive it but I have seen his generous and good will toward us.
Another thing I do agree is that when he explained that our goal as human beings is looking for wisdom in our life that is not from our study of books or pursuing degrees in PhD or master but in the wisdom of this life through awareness, meditation and doing good things toward others. It resonated to me that time because I was thinking of my life in the process of priesthood. It has been so far 9 years and I feel tired of study and not so much enhance my inner spirituality. Then, I reflect that all of our grace as human beings such as mind, body, spirit and soul should be developed in better ways day-by-day toward integration with the Creator that is God. This is our duty as human beings in the world that is not always easy to make balance and harmony of those areas because basically we are fragile and weak as human beings. I believe that the area of inner spirituality is the most fragile in my life. I am not always aware of what I am doing in daily activities. I tend to do prayer, Mass, eating, sleeping, going to school, reading, accessing the Internet and the e-mail mechanically without full attentiveness and mindfulness. That is why the meditation is very important according to Buddhist teaching. I have dream someday that I can make research on the meditation of Buddhist compares to Christian prayer/meditation.
Before we left the temple, I saw some ladies preparing food for the monk and I know that the monks will have lunch before noon. They only have meal in the morning and before noon. This is exactly what I have known about the timetable of the Theravada monks. That is why the monk, Bikkhu Ratana is available at 9 a.m. to 10.30 a.m. in welcoming us because after that and before noon he has to eat lunch together with other monks in his community. He recommended us to feel free to visit again and contact him if we need other things. Overall, I am satisfied of this visit and glad to write this little reflection.
Monday, October 31, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and in the afternoon the presiding class in which Father Fragomeni explained about the Anointing of the sick sacrament. At night I did paper of EMP/ethic class for the group.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005.
In the morning I finished my paper of EMP and sent it via e-mail to my group. At 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. I met Father Rocco for colloquium/formation. At 4.30 p.m. I attended the Mass of the Feast of All the Saints at CTU. The liturgy was in the Asian style. After coming back home for supper, I went to CTU again to have EMP/Ethic class in which I got my first paper (75/75).
Wednesday, November 02, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class and in the afternoon I got a post card from my Indonesian friend, Angelina who was sending it from Fatima Shrine in Portugal. At night I wrote my reflection on the visit to a Theravada Buddhist temple a couple of weeks ago. I called up Edi and Darwin to ask favor attending my presiding class group on Monday, November 21 at CTU.
Thursday, November 03, 2005.
In the morning I attended Chia’s class on Inculturation and Dialogue. At night we had community meeting with topic of Cosuma document regards International Theology.
Friday, November 04, 2005.
In the morning my neck and head were nerved painfully. From 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. I met Father Rocco again for personal formation meeting. At 1 p.m. Ignas, Harno and I went to Syafa’s house to celebrate Ramadhan’s day (Muslim feast day). There were some friends there as well and we had lunch. We took Father Jack home at Fullerton. At night I did my paper of EMP/Ethic class. My neck was cured, no more pain.
Saturday, November 05, 2005.
Today is the feast day for the Xaverian Missionaries and we celebrated this founder’s day with Mass at 4 p.m. presided by Father Alfredo Turco in which we, the eight Xaverian students renewed our vows. We are Alejandro, Denny, Ignatius, Dharmawan, Pascal, Harno, Valery and Francois. It was attended by some guests from IRF program of CTU, friends of Father Willy, sx. Father Dominic and Father Larry from Franklin Community, Milwaukee took part as well in this celebration. I helped out Father Rocco preparing the supper as well as Valery. In the middle of the supper Father Aniello from Saint Therese Chinatown joined us in this annual family celebration. Congratulation as well to all students in the five Xaverian International Theology who celebrate this Conforti’s Day and renewal of vows. I know that there are about 80 Xaverian students scattered in five countries, namely, Parma-Italy, Yaounde-Cameroon, Chicago-USA, Manila-the Philippines, and Mexico City-Mexico. We started the Mass at our chapel at 4 p.m. and the feast lasted at 8 p.m. Altogether there were about 20 people at our celebration in Chicago.
Sunday, November 06, 2005.
In the morning together with Valery I went to Saint Therese Church. At 9.30 a.m. I attended the Cantonese Mass. From 11 to 12 p.m. at the Confirmation class, Cesare, s.j. was teaching the five kids about the Saints. I remained there to participate in the meditation led by Father Michael at the church before the tabernacle from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. There were 5 people in this meditation, namely Father Michael, Agnes, Edi and Lisa and myself. I came back to Hyde Park and at 6 p.m. I had meeting with Father Rocco and Harno teaming up as liturgical team for this coming week. After the evening prayer, supper and reading Amos reading, I make photocopy of Indonesian Mass for next two weeks in preparation to do my second assignment of Eucharistic Presiding in my Presiding class at CTU. I plan to have this Mass presiding in Indonesian Mass at Saint Therese Church in Chinatown, the 33rd Sunday Mass, on Saturday, November 19, at 6 p.m. after the Mass of Father Aniello. I invite some Indonesian friends, who live around Chinatown and ask favor of my Indonesian confreres to participate in music and songs.
Denny Wahyudi, SX
My Reflection of the Visit to the Buddhist Temple:
Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu
I am glad that eventually I could contact and make appointment with the Theravada Buddhist monk at Wat Phrasriratanamahadhatu Temple, which is located on 4735 North Magnolia Avenue. A couple of times I called up this temple but nobody answered it. Once I got answer but the monk didn’t speak English and he asked a lady to answer me then the lady asked me to call up again later to a Buddhist monk who speaks English. At that time I was not quite sure who is the name of the monk but afterward I called up again I got answer from a monk who speaks English. His name is Bikkhu Ratana. I noticed that his name is similar with the name of the temple and exactly in the middle of the name (Phrasriratanamahadhatu). I knew this temple first time from a Xaverian priest, Michael Davitti who works in Saint Therese Chinese mission in Chinatown Chicago, then I found out on the Internet the website of this temple. It is interesting that the monk was very glad and welcoming us who want to visit and know them. It is a basic attitude of Interreligious Dialogue, openness toward others even otherness. It is exactly I have experienced when I visit Buddhist temple especially the Theravada Buddhist temple in Indonesia in which I ever had experience live-in for 6 days. Their basic behaviors such as humility, respect, warm welcoming and giving things to the guests are exactly the same I have known some of the bikkhus in Indonesia. I was thinking that I did a good choice to visit this temple. According to my research on the Internet, this Theravada Temple is the closest one from CTU so I proposed it to my group. There are two other temples but they are located little bit far away. A lesson of this experience is whenever I have a will and spirit to pursue something that is good I have to be persevering to do it day-by-day until the goal is attained. It can be done with many other things in my life. When I loose the spirit and will, I will lose orientation and fall apart destroying my goal.
One thing that I am impressed until now is that Bikkhu Ratana witnessed of this place where in the past it was very dangerous, a lot of gangs but after they chose this place becomes their temple, the surrounding neighborhood is changing gradually becoming safer and peace area. I could feel it when I entered their temple from the backyard, the peace atmosphere inside the house and the warm welcoming of the residents. Then, I remember one prayer of them saying, “may all creatures in the world will be happy.” I know this motto when I was living in the Theravada Buddhist temple in Central Java for six days. One of the monks explained to me that all creatures mean all human beings, plants, animals and even the dark power or satan or evil spirit. I was wondering that they ask this intention for all in the world regardless enemy or friends. Isn’t it the Christian teaching that we have to pray for others especially our enemies? My conviction is with their peaceful and harmonious spirituality they live it out in their lives, they influence to others especially the neighborhood surround them. I can see their full dedication on the Buddhist teaching and it is evident when Bikkhu Ratana gave us the Chanting Book for each one of us in the group and before we left, he gave us bananas and some cans of drink. I remember again the spirituality of the Buddhist that whenever they can do give to others, they will do earnestly. They believe in Karma. When I called him up to make an appointment, he answered me not to bring anything to give to the Temple. The spirituality of giving to others is really struck me as a Christian and a religious. Their generosity toward the poor and their compassionate action give me example to do so. Before we left, he tried to find a CD of the Buddhist Dharma/ teaching in English but he couldn’t find it and he asked our address for sending the CD even though until now I do not receive it but I have seen his generous and good will toward us.
Another thing I do agree is that when he explained that our goal as human beings is looking for wisdom in our life that is not from our study of books or pursuing degrees in PhD or master but in the wisdom of this life through awareness, meditation and doing good things toward others. It resonated to me that time because I was thinking of my life in the process of priesthood. It has been so far 9 years and I feel tired of study and not so much enhance my inner spirituality. Then, I reflect that all of our grace as human beings such as mind, body, spirit and soul should be developed in better ways day-by-day toward integration with the Creator that is God. This is our duty as human beings in the world that is not always easy to make balance and harmony of those areas because basically we are fragile and weak as human beings. I believe that the area of inner spirituality is the most fragile in my life. I am not always aware of what I am doing in daily activities. I tend to do prayer, Mass, eating, sleeping, going to school, reading, accessing the Internet and the e-mail mechanically without full attentiveness and mindfulness. That is why the meditation is very important according to Buddhist teaching. I have dream someday that I can make research on the meditation of Buddhist compares to Christian prayer/meditation.
Before we left the temple, I saw some ladies preparing food for the monk and I know that the monks will have lunch before noon. They only have meal in the morning and before noon. This is exactly what I have known about the timetable of the Theravada monks. That is why the monk, Bikkhu Ratana is available at 9 a.m. to 10.30 a.m. in welcoming us because after that and before noon he has to eat lunch together with other monks in his community. He recommended us to feel free to visit again and contact him if we need other things. Overall, I am satisfied of this visit and glad to write this little reflection.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
5th letter of OCtober 2005
5) 31st Sunday in Ordinary Time, October 30, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005.
After attending Amos class, I met the director of M.Div program, Barbara Bowe, rscj to submit my CPE evaluation. She liked to receive my complete evaluation of this summer CPE. In the Xaverian chapel, my group consists of Peter, svd, Joseph, CSSP and myself were doing presiding practicum with taping our daily Eucharist. I am going to meet the professor, Father Fragomeni on November 7 in order to evaluate my presiding videotape. In the afternoon I received a new Warta Xaverian magazine from Indonesia, made by Indonesian Xaverian philosophy students. I read it wholly at night in which I contributed one 4-page article on Reflection about the Eucharist.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005.
I transferred the Eucharistic presiding I did yesterday to videotape. I am satisfied with this result. In the afternoon I attended the class of EMP in which the first part Aileen Crowley presented a powerpoint about Liturgy and Social Justice.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class. I am glad that my friend from my hometown, Madiun sent me e-mail that he now teaches at University of Bina Nusantara Jakarta. He is Marsudi, a Catholic fellow, my theater colleague in Senior High School 2 Madiun (1990-1993). Hopefully, I meet him next year when I come home.
Thursday, October 27, 2005.
In the morning I attended Chia’s class (Inculturation and Dialogue). On the way home, I was walking with a Maryknoll novice from Korea named Anastasia. She just has been living in the U.S.A. for two months. She knew about the Maryknoll Sisters from the Internet and has been a Catholic since five years ago. Interesting….
After supper, we had community meeting in which our rector, Father Rocco shared his meeting with other theology rectors of the Xaverians in Rome a couple of weeks ago.
Friday, October 28, 2005.
After the Mass in the morning and breakfast, at 8.30 a.m. Father Victor preached a retreat to us as preparation to renewal of our vows next November 5. We did reflection and sharing at the chapel that lasted at a quarter to one in the afternoon. Five members of our community headed to Milwaukee to attend the banquet. They are Father Rocco, Ignas, Pascal Atumisi, Harno and Valery. After taking a rest, I did warm up Lasagna for the supper. We’re only four who staying for the supper this evening.
Saturday, October 29, 2005.
As usual after the Mass and breakfast, I work at the kitchen till noon. Today is the birthday of Alejandro (29). I was feeling very lazy to do my homework but I did read first the reading of the EMP/Ethic class and didn’t write or type anything yet. The time is changed in the early Sunday; We’re lucky one hour; instead of one a.m. in the morning, I changed to be 12 midnight.
Sunday, October 30, 2005.
I woke up at 7 a.m., took shower then prayed breviary personally at my room. After having breakfast, I went to Saint Therese with Valery by CTA bus no.15 in front of the house and red line train. At 9.30 a.m. Mass once again I am in charge of the thurible/incense. Today there’s no CCD/Confirmation class but some little children at the church celebrated Halloween party. I had meeting with Cesare to plan our confirmation class this month. From 2 to 3 p.m. I was alone at the church practicing some songs to preside an Indonesian Mass as my presiding practicum for November 19. At least I have practiced the preface and some part of the presider in the Mass in Indonesian language. I guess nobody heard me. I am going to do it at this church inviting some Indonesian friends around here. At 3 to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation guided by Father Michael and was followed by 4 other fellows: Agnes, Sister Gertrude, John Lie and a lady. I went home by CTA. Before the Vesper, I did read a reading for Amos class tomorrow. At 7.30 p.m. we had supper cooked by Father Rocco.
Monday, October 24, 2005.
After attending Amos class, I met the director of M.Div program, Barbara Bowe, rscj to submit my CPE evaluation. She liked to receive my complete evaluation of this summer CPE. In the Xaverian chapel, my group consists of Peter, svd, Joseph, CSSP and myself were doing presiding practicum with taping our daily Eucharist. I am going to meet the professor, Father Fragomeni on November 7 in order to evaluate my presiding videotape. In the afternoon I received a new Warta Xaverian magazine from Indonesia, made by Indonesian Xaverian philosophy students. I read it wholly at night in which I contributed one 4-page article on Reflection about the Eucharist.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005.
I transferred the Eucharistic presiding I did yesterday to videotape. I am satisfied with this result. In the afternoon I attended the class of EMP in which the first part Aileen Crowley presented a powerpoint about Liturgy and Social Justice.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class. I am glad that my friend from my hometown, Madiun sent me e-mail that he now teaches at University of Bina Nusantara Jakarta. He is Marsudi, a Catholic fellow, my theater colleague in Senior High School 2 Madiun (1990-1993). Hopefully, I meet him next year when I come home.
Thursday, October 27, 2005.
In the morning I attended Chia’s class (Inculturation and Dialogue). On the way home, I was walking with a Maryknoll novice from Korea named Anastasia. She just has been living in the U.S.A. for two months. She knew about the Maryknoll Sisters from the Internet and has been a Catholic since five years ago. Interesting….
After supper, we had community meeting in which our rector, Father Rocco shared his meeting with other theology rectors of the Xaverians in Rome a couple of weeks ago.
Friday, October 28, 2005.
After the Mass in the morning and breakfast, at 8.30 a.m. Father Victor preached a retreat to us as preparation to renewal of our vows next November 5. We did reflection and sharing at the chapel that lasted at a quarter to one in the afternoon. Five members of our community headed to Milwaukee to attend the banquet. They are Father Rocco, Ignas, Pascal Atumisi, Harno and Valery. After taking a rest, I did warm up Lasagna for the supper. We’re only four who staying for the supper this evening.
Saturday, October 29, 2005.
As usual after the Mass and breakfast, I work at the kitchen till noon. Today is the birthday of Alejandro (29). I was feeling very lazy to do my homework but I did read first the reading of the EMP/Ethic class and didn’t write or type anything yet. The time is changed in the early Sunday; We’re lucky one hour; instead of one a.m. in the morning, I changed to be 12 midnight.
Sunday, October 30, 2005.
I woke up at 7 a.m., took shower then prayed breviary personally at my room. After having breakfast, I went to Saint Therese with Valery by CTA bus no.15 in front of the house and red line train. At 9.30 a.m. Mass once again I am in charge of the thurible/incense. Today there’s no CCD/Confirmation class but some little children at the church celebrated Halloween party. I had meeting with Cesare to plan our confirmation class this month. From 2 to 3 p.m. I was alone at the church practicing some songs to preside an Indonesian Mass as my presiding practicum for November 19. At least I have practiced the preface and some part of the presider in the Mass in Indonesian language. I guess nobody heard me. I am going to do it at this church inviting some Indonesian friends around here. At 3 to 4 p.m. I joined the meditation guided by Father Michael and was followed by 4 other fellows: Agnes, Sister Gertrude, John Lie and a lady. I went home by CTA. Before the Vesper, I did read a reading for Amos class tomorrow. At 7.30 p.m. we had supper cooked by Father Rocco.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
4th letter of October 2005
4) 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time, October 23, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class then in the afternoon at our chapel, my group practiced the Eucharistic presiding. My group consists of two SVD students, Peter (a Chinese) and Long Phi (a Vietnamese), Joseph (a Vietnamese Holy Spiritan student) and myself. At 5 p.m. we did lectio divina in our community. Actually, I have practiced the Eucharist almost everyday, so it is not a big deal any longer. But, I see my classmates still did little mistakes as they did this practice.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005.
In the morning I did reading on ethic or EMP class on the Internet/ CTU moodle. In the evening I attended this EMP class and I submitted the first paper. At 10.30 p.m. I saw Father Rocco was coming back from Rome, Italy, the theology rector’s meeting.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005.
I attended Amos class at CTU then I went by CTA bus to Saint Therese School but unfortunately the principal of the school was not coming. I went to the church to meet Father Michael talking about training altar servers at the school. He invited me to have lunch at the rectory. I enjoyed their hospitality together with Father Aniello. I went home and read new Xaverian SEMIX from Rome about the Cosuma documents. I read almost the whole two books, especially regards the theology formation.
Thursday, October 20, 2005.
I was attending Chia’s class about Inculturation and Dialogue in which Steve Bevans, svd gave his presentation about the contextual theology. I did cook for my community: rice, shrimp crackers and vegetable soup plus pork (sayur asin/baikut). After finishing the cooking, I had time to practice the Eucharist at the chapel. At 5 p.m. we had adoration/holy hour in which Father Willy, sx and his two IRF classmates shared their experience being missionaries. They are one nun from Nigeria whose mission in Italy for nine years and one SVD priest from Liberia whose mission in Colombia. At 7.30 p.m. to 9.15 p.m. we had community meeting with topic still the same like last week, discussing about mission. Soon after finish the meeting I asked help of Dharmawan, Harno and Ignas to give me correction and input in my Eucharistic presiding at the chapel. At night I called up my younger brother in Ponorogo and he said that I would have a new nephew or niece next year. The news is that my youngest brother, Jimmy who just married last month, his wife, 19 year-old has already got pregnant. It’s a good news and I am happy to hear this news because some weeks ago as I called him up, he asked me to pray so that he would have a baby. And it’s already happened. It’s great. I talked to for a while as well to my father as he visited my younger brother, Rony at his cell phone and money-changer store in Ponorogo, Indonesia.
Friday, October 21, 2005.
Early in the morning, I woke up and took a shower and at 6.15 a.m. I went to Saint Therese church to attend the morning Mass at 7.45. I saw two boys, the fifth graders of Saint Therese School were serving as altar servers at the Mass presided by Father Michael. He gave them short training how to do things as altar servers. I was reading the first reading at the Mass that was attended only by 10 people and all of them senior citizens. After the Mass ended, I followed the students, Kevin and Samuel to the school to meet the principal, Mrs. Cavallone. I saw many students line up to enter their classes. I saw at this crowded children at least one Afro-American girl who is also one of the kids at the school. I was welcomed at the fifth grade by the teacher, Mrs. Fischer. From 8.30 to 9.15 a.m. I was at this class whose 18 students and all of them Chinese descendants. I shared with them about how to be altar servers at the church because they have to serve at the daily Mass in pair for October till November 2nd. I practiced and showed them in the class what to do when they serve. I demonstrated this practice with Kevin and Samuel who served this morning. Seeing that there’s still time to be at the class then I gave them my robe game. Some of them already knew this game because they played at the summer class last year with Petrus. I had nice conversation and little story with them. At 9.15 I left the class and returned at Saint Therese rectory.
I continued to go to Saint Peter Church at Loop to have reconciliation/confession. I became aware of the procedure of this sacrament because I have practiced and learned it at my presiding class. I went home and prepared the chapel for my presiding practicum this afternoon. I could take a rest for a while and at 4 p.m. with the help and presence of Dharmawan, Harno, Atumisi and Valery, I did my first Eucharistic presiding, taped by Dharmawan. I appreciated their kindness to help and attend my presiding. It is a weekday Mass and it will be evaluated by my professor, Father Fragomeni next week. It’s about 35 minutes. I am satisfied by this practicum even though the quality of the video is not perfect but at least I have done what my professor has told me in this act of Eucharist. I am looking forward his correction. I have to make one more Eucharistic presiding for a Sunday Mass in November in my own language, Indonesia. I will do it in Saint Therese Church Chinatown. I have to practice it before because even though it is the same Mass but the language is different. Hopefully, there will be some Indonesian friends around Chinatown will come to my second practicum Mass.
After having supper cooked by Alejandro, I did type this journal at my room.
Saturday, October 22, 2005.
In the morning after the Mass and breakfast, I was working at the kitchen cleaning up the refrigerators, doing laundry of my clothes and kitchen stuffs. In the evening together with Father Victor, I went to Old Mary Church on Michigan Avenue by CTA bus and train while the weather was bit raining. We attended the Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago (PWKI) fundraising with entertainment called “Pasar Senggol” (Bumping Market). Over than 200 people were coming to this fun Saturday night event that took place at the auditorium of the parish. People who came are mostly Indonesians, Moslem, Catholic, Protestant and few white Americans. I was sitting with Indonesian SsPs Sister, Edel Deong whose ministry in Chicago and two of her sisters in her congregation, one Phillipina and one Vietnamese American. The entertainment was started with place dance (tari piring) by Brother Ignatius, sx, then Brother Suharno, sx playing guitar and singing songs he composed when he’s in minor seminary. Brother Dharmawan, sx was playing a drama, becoming a husband with his well done acting that made people happy and laughing and giggling repeatedly. There were a lot of Indonesian foods prepared by Indonesian groups. After the door prize of ruffle ticket, it ended with Indonesian dance called Poco-poco. Father Aniello, sx came as well to this event. Overall, this wonderful feast of Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago is successfully held by the coordinators who worked hard and enthusiastically. Congratulation to Yuni and Nita and all friends who have worked hard for this fun festivity. Father Jack, cm was coming and participating in this celebration. Father Sony, svd who will depart to Indonesia after living continuously in the U.S.A for six years on this coming Wednesday, gave me and Father Victor a ride coming back to Hyde Park. Have a safe trip, Father Sony and good luck with your mission in Angola, Africa.
Sunday, October 23, 2005.
In the morning I woke up at 6.50 a.m. and took shower and prayed the breviary personally at my room. With Valery, I went to Saint Therese Church in Chinatown by CTA bus no. 15 and red line train. We attended the Mass at 9.30 a.m. Today is the Sunday Mission. I was participating in the altar in charge of incense and it’s the first time using incense with thurible in the Mass. The deacon, Paul, svd was preaching in English and the Mass presided by Father Michael.
Since it’s the Mission Sunday, so I gave the confirmation children in the class the Blessed Guido Maria Conforti VCD made by Father Otello Pancani, sx. I brought it when I came to the U.S.A three years ago. The 5th graders (5 children) guided by Valery joined our class to watch this slide show. It’s a 30-minute story about the life of the Xaverian Society founder, Conforti, from Parma-Italy in Indonesian language so I translated into English along the show. After watching it, I asked the children some questions regard this story. I can see that the universal experience both the children in Indonesia and the U.S.A. They paid attention to this show that introduces the mission and the work of the Xaverian missionaries. At least when I asked why Conforti could not become a missionary and they have various answers they picked up from this story. I asked them what little Conforti said before the cross and one of them could answer, “I am looking at him (Jesus) and he is looking at me and he is telling me many things.” In Indonesia as well the children could answer this Conforti’s spiritual experience of cross because it’s repeated a couple of times in the VCD with the little Conforti picture with full of color kneeling before the Christ. Hopefully, it will give them some insight in their faith’s journey. They commented that this is cool; the common comment of youth in the U.S.A. Father Michael gave us pairs of suite, to me as well as Valery. It’s my first pair of suites I ever have in my life. Thank to Father Michael, sx as well as thank for the bag for my laptop in which Valery was the one who asking of it for me.
I am satisfied by the impression of the kids in the class of confirmation today. I saw their different behavior today. Alex, the only boy in this program was asking me as I operated my laptop for the VCD of Conforti, “How old is your computer?” I replied by asking, “What do you think, how old is it?” He answered, “I think it’s two years older than me?” I was laughing to know their reaction. I know that it’s old but at least I can use it to type and watch the DVD and VCD. I asked the children whether they have computer at their homes and it’s true that each one of them has their own personal computer. They laughed at me and my computer because it’s old style. I didn’t feel offended instead I was just smile and I am feeling being paid attention by them. It’s very different experience with them. Because I have been in their class in one month together with one Jesuit student, Cesare, but they always behave, never asking this ‘silly question.’ I feel good that eventually the children can speak spontaneously to me in friendly way. Hopefully, it will continue in next meetings.
A quarter to three in the afternoon, George gave us a ride to Hyde Park, our house, while the weather today is the coldest so far during this Fall season, about 36 Fahrenheit degrees. George was accompanied by his son, Matthew (first grader at Saint Therese School Chinatown) and Monica (2nd grader). After the evening prayer and supper, I did type this journal and post it to my blog websites, http://acdw74.blogspot.com and http://acdw74.multiply.com
Monday, October 17, 2005.
In the morning I attended Amos class then in the afternoon at our chapel, my group practiced the Eucharistic presiding. My group consists of two SVD students, Peter (a Chinese) and Long Phi (a Vietnamese), Joseph (a Vietnamese Holy Spiritan student) and myself. At 5 p.m. we did lectio divina in our community. Actually, I have practiced the Eucharist almost everyday, so it is not a big deal any longer. But, I see my classmates still did little mistakes as they did this practice.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005.
In the morning I did reading on ethic or EMP class on the Internet/ CTU moodle. In the evening I attended this EMP class and I submitted the first paper. At 10.30 p.m. I saw Father Rocco was coming back from Rome, Italy, the theology rector’s meeting.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005.
I attended Amos class at CTU then I went by CTA bus to Saint Therese School but unfortunately the principal of the school was not coming. I went to the church to meet Father Michael talking about training altar servers at the school. He invited me to have lunch at the rectory. I enjoyed their hospitality together with Father Aniello. I went home and read new Xaverian SEMIX from Rome about the Cosuma documents. I read almost the whole two books, especially regards the theology formation.
Thursday, October 20, 2005.
I was attending Chia’s class about Inculturation and Dialogue in which Steve Bevans, svd gave his presentation about the contextual theology. I did cook for my community: rice, shrimp crackers and vegetable soup plus pork (sayur asin/baikut). After finishing the cooking, I had time to practice the Eucharist at the chapel. At 5 p.m. we had adoration/holy hour in which Father Willy, sx and his two IRF classmates shared their experience being missionaries. They are one nun from Nigeria whose mission in Italy for nine years and one SVD priest from Liberia whose mission in Colombia. At 7.30 p.m. to 9.15 p.m. we had community meeting with topic still the same like last week, discussing about mission. Soon after finish the meeting I asked help of Dharmawan, Harno and Ignas to give me correction and input in my Eucharistic presiding at the chapel. At night I called up my younger brother in Ponorogo and he said that I would have a new nephew or niece next year. The news is that my youngest brother, Jimmy who just married last month, his wife, 19 year-old has already got pregnant. It’s a good news and I am happy to hear this news because some weeks ago as I called him up, he asked me to pray so that he would have a baby. And it’s already happened. It’s great. I talked to for a while as well to my father as he visited my younger brother, Rony at his cell phone and money-changer store in Ponorogo, Indonesia.
Friday, October 21, 2005.
Early in the morning, I woke up and took a shower and at 6.15 a.m. I went to Saint Therese church to attend the morning Mass at 7.45. I saw two boys, the fifth graders of Saint Therese School were serving as altar servers at the Mass presided by Father Michael. He gave them short training how to do things as altar servers. I was reading the first reading at the Mass that was attended only by 10 people and all of them senior citizens. After the Mass ended, I followed the students, Kevin and Samuel to the school to meet the principal, Mrs. Cavallone. I saw many students line up to enter their classes. I saw at this crowded children at least one Afro-American girl who is also one of the kids at the school. I was welcomed at the fifth grade by the teacher, Mrs. Fischer. From 8.30 to 9.15 a.m. I was at this class whose 18 students and all of them Chinese descendants. I shared with them about how to be altar servers at the church because they have to serve at the daily Mass in pair for October till November 2nd. I practiced and showed them in the class what to do when they serve. I demonstrated this practice with Kevin and Samuel who served this morning. Seeing that there’s still time to be at the class then I gave them my robe game. Some of them already knew this game because they played at the summer class last year with Petrus. I had nice conversation and little story with them. At 9.15 I left the class and returned at Saint Therese rectory.
I continued to go to Saint Peter Church at Loop to have reconciliation/confession. I became aware of the procedure of this sacrament because I have practiced and learned it at my presiding class. I went home and prepared the chapel for my presiding practicum this afternoon. I could take a rest for a while and at 4 p.m. with the help and presence of Dharmawan, Harno, Atumisi and Valery, I did my first Eucharistic presiding, taped by Dharmawan. I appreciated their kindness to help and attend my presiding. It is a weekday Mass and it will be evaluated by my professor, Father Fragomeni next week. It’s about 35 minutes. I am satisfied by this practicum even though the quality of the video is not perfect but at least I have done what my professor has told me in this act of Eucharist. I am looking forward his correction. I have to make one more Eucharistic presiding for a Sunday Mass in November in my own language, Indonesia. I will do it in Saint Therese Church Chinatown. I have to practice it before because even though it is the same Mass but the language is different. Hopefully, there will be some Indonesian friends around Chinatown will come to my second practicum Mass.
After having supper cooked by Alejandro, I did type this journal at my room.
Saturday, October 22, 2005.
In the morning after the Mass and breakfast, I was working at the kitchen cleaning up the refrigerators, doing laundry of my clothes and kitchen stuffs. In the evening together with Father Victor, I went to Old Mary Church on Michigan Avenue by CTA bus and train while the weather was bit raining. We attended the Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago (PWKI) fundraising with entertainment called “Pasar Senggol” (Bumping Market). Over than 200 people were coming to this fun Saturday night event that took place at the auditorium of the parish. People who came are mostly Indonesians, Moslem, Catholic, Protestant and few white Americans. I was sitting with Indonesian SsPs Sister, Edel Deong whose ministry in Chicago and two of her sisters in her congregation, one Phillipina and one Vietnamese American. The entertainment was started with place dance (tari piring) by Brother Ignatius, sx, then Brother Suharno, sx playing guitar and singing songs he composed when he’s in minor seminary. Brother Dharmawan, sx was playing a drama, becoming a husband with his well done acting that made people happy and laughing and giggling repeatedly. There were a lot of Indonesian foods prepared by Indonesian groups. After the door prize of ruffle ticket, it ended with Indonesian dance called Poco-poco. Father Aniello, sx came as well to this event. Overall, this wonderful feast of Indonesian Catholic group in Chicago is successfully held by the coordinators who worked hard and enthusiastically. Congratulation to Yuni and Nita and all friends who have worked hard for this fun festivity. Father Jack, cm was coming and participating in this celebration. Father Sony, svd who will depart to Indonesia after living continuously in the U.S.A for six years on this coming Wednesday, gave me and Father Victor a ride coming back to Hyde Park. Have a safe trip, Father Sony and good luck with your mission in Angola, Africa.
Sunday, October 23, 2005.
In the morning I woke up at 6.50 a.m. and took shower and prayed the breviary personally at my room. With Valery, I went to Saint Therese Church in Chinatown by CTA bus no. 15 and red line train. We attended the Mass at 9.30 a.m. Today is the Sunday Mission. I was participating in the altar in charge of incense and it’s the first time using incense with thurible in the Mass. The deacon, Paul, svd was preaching in English and the Mass presided by Father Michael.
Since it’s the Mission Sunday, so I gave the confirmation children in the class the Blessed Guido Maria Conforti VCD made by Father Otello Pancani, sx. I brought it when I came to the U.S.A three years ago. The 5th graders (5 children) guided by Valery joined our class to watch this slide show. It’s a 30-minute story about the life of the Xaverian Society founder, Conforti, from Parma-Italy in Indonesian language so I translated into English along the show. After watching it, I asked the children some questions regard this story. I can see that the universal experience both the children in Indonesia and the U.S.A. They paid attention to this show that introduces the mission and the work of the Xaverian missionaries. At least when I asked why Conforti could not become a missionary and they have various answers they picked up from this story. I asked them what little Conforti said before the cross and one of them could answer, “I am looking at him (Jesus) and he is looking at me and he is telling me many things.” In Indonesia as well the children could answer this Conforti’s spiritual experience of cross because it’s repeated a couple of times in the VCD with the little Conforti picture with full of color kneeling before the Christ. Hopefully, it will give them some insight in their faith’s journey. They commented that this is cool; the common comment of youth in the U.S.A. Father Michael gave us pairs of suite, to me as well as Valery. It’s my first pair of suites I ever have in my life. Thank to Father Michael, sx as well as thank for the bag for my laptop in which Valery was the one who asking of it for me.
I am satisfied by the impression of the kids in the class of confirmation today. I saw their different behavior today. Alex, the only boy in this program was asking me as I operated my laptop for the VCD of Conforti, “How old is your computer?” I replied by asking, “What do you think, how old is it?” He answered, “I think it’s two years older than me?” I was laughing to know their reaction. I know that it’s old but at least I can use it to type and watch the DVD and VCD. I asked the children whether they have computer at their homes and it’s true that each one of them has their own personal computer. They laughed at me and my computer because it’s old style. I didn’t feel offended instead I was just smile and I am feeling being paid attention by them. It’s very different experience with them. Because I have been in their class in one month together with one Jesuit student, Cesare, but they always behave, never asking this ‘silly question.’ I feel good that eventually the children can speak spontaneously to me in friendly way. Hopefully, it will continue in next meetings.
A quarter to three in the afternoon, George gave us a ride to Hyde Park, our house, while the weather today is the coldest so far during this Fall season, about 36 Fahrenheit degrees. George was accompanied by his son, Matthew (first grader at Saint Therese School Chinatown) and Monica (2nd grader). After the evening prayer and supper, I did type this journal and post it to my blog websites, http://acdw74.blogspot.com and http://acdw74.multiply.com
Sunday, October 16, 2005
3rd letter of October 2005
3) 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time, October 16, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005.
This week the liturgical team is Father Pascal, Alejandro and myself. In the morning I attended the Amos class and I studied at the library. At 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. in the group we practiced the Eucharistic presiding at the 6th floor chapel. The second part of the presiding class, Father Fragomeni taught us how to say the Mass presiding completely. Next week we have to practice in small group presiding the Eucharist and my group will take place at our Xaverian chapel. At 5 to 6 p.m. I led the lectio divina; I did split the group becoming two sharing group in which I asked each one of us to take a lot A or B. Coincidentally, I have group that consisted of Father Pascal and 4 Indonesian students including me. I think this method I applied successfully in Indonesia and I see one good point to share when we have small group. The tendency to share in big group (10-11 people) is only the same people speak and share and always the same people will not speak. I think it is a good method to force little bit to talk and share in the group despite sleepiness of some members in the group waiting for others talking. Even though there is negative aspect of this method such as not everybody know what other group share, but at least we have tried to speak in engaging way even honestly and plainly without hesitance. It is exactly I experienced when I led some lay Catholic group when I was in Jakarta.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005.
In the morning I read some reading assignments on the Internet for my EMP (Social justice class) and in the evening I attended this class taught by Dawn Notwehr.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005.
I attended the Amos class in the morning and did my paper on social justice class (EMP) that I would share as well in the below of this journal.
Thursday, October 13, 2005.
I attended the class of Dialogue and Inculturation taught by Edmund Chia. In the kitchen there’s Father Adolph, sx who visited us today. I did cook for the community, beef curry, rice, green-bean dessert and shrimp crackers. At 5 p.m. Alejandro led us the Holy Prayer with topic of Mission. At 7.30 p.m. to 9.10 p.m. we had community meeting led by Father Victor, sharing about our experience celebrating the World Mission Sunday. It’s a quite engaging conversation since all of us shared our own experience that is unique in our own original sites, our own country and experience. Today while I was cooking, I received a letter from my supervisors at Alexian Brothers Medical Center about my CPE evaluation. I shared this evaluation to Father Victor. I satisfy to this evaluation.
Friday, October 14, 2005.
In the Mass I shared my experience some mission works of Catholic Church since born, grew up in my hometown, Madiun toward my vocation call becoming a missionary in the Xaverians. I shared it at the below of this journal. After the Mass and the breakfast, I went to CTU to go with Daniel, a Viatorian student, to a Theravada Buddhist temple on Magnolia Avenue, North side of Chicago. For our class of Dialogue and Inculturation, my group that consists of Daniel, Judy, Long Phi and myself decided to visit this Buddhist temple. From 9 to 10.30 a.m. we had dialogue with a Buddhist monk from Thailand named Ratana who has been living in the U.S.A. for 18 years. It’s interesting conversation for all of us that will be useful for our report to the class. I was in charge in the beginning to contact the monk via phone. The monk gave each one of us a book about chanting in Pali language. He promised to send me a CD about Dharma teaching that we think will be helpful for our presentation at the class. On the way home, I asked Dan to drop me at the public library downtown. I returned and borrowed some six DVD’s. After having a rest in the afternoon, I helped Father Victor to cook for our community, just warming up Pizza, Lasagna and chicken soup. From 7 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. I attended and taped with the handy-cam recorder the worship practicum of Jacques Bahati at the Xaverian chapel. At night I was doing research on the Internet for my first paper of EMP class.
Saturday, October 15, 2005.
After having breakfast, I worked cleaning up the kitchen especially the dining room floor and the stove. In the afternoon I did practice by myself the Eucharistic presiding at the chapel. In the supper (cooked by Valery) we had nice and longer than usual conversation and very engaging one. I do type this journal in the evening.
Sunday, October 16, 2005.
I woke up in the morning at 7 a.m., took shower and prayed the breviary personally at my room. After the breakfast, Valery and I went to Chinatown to attend the 9.30 morning Mass. In the Mass, there is a new deacon of SVD’s named Paul. He is my classmate at the presiding class at CTU. He and Cesare, a Jesuit student helped Father Michael to share communion in the Mass while I was sitting together with the altar servers at the altar as well. I felt not doing anything in the Mass. Actually, I feel not comfortable if I do not do anything in the Mass while I have to sit together with other ministers. Maybe because I am a conformist man, so whatever my formators ask to do as far as I can do it, that’s no problem for me. Even though like so, I just criticize myself: why I should dress up with alb without having role in the Mass; it does not make sense. If my formator told me in order to be known by the congregation, why the way to make it is only during the Mass, is there any other way to fulfill it?
Other thing is I admire the openness of Father Michael as the pastor of Saint Therese Church in Chinatown Chicago who welcomes everybody to involve in the parish. It is evident with the presence of an SVD deacon who does his deaconate year at this parish, a Jesuit student who teaches the Confirmation children with me, and two Xaverian students, namely Valery who teaches CCD program (6th graders) and myself teach the confirmation program. Even I saw Indonesian youth who like to come to this parish to participate in the Mass, such as Marvin who volunteers himself every Saturday in the Mass and works cleaning up the church, Edi and Lisa, an Indonesia coupple who help Father Michael as well doing little things at the rectory, at least I saw them before I left the church today. Even Lisa becomes a teacher at the first grade of CCD program. Father Michael witness is really giving me a good example to be an open person to many different people who have good will to work together. It is also a real formation and education for me as a Xaverian student who prepares myself to be a missionary priest in the near future.
From 10.45 a.m. to 12 p.m. together with Cesare, SJ, I was teaching the confirmation children with the topic about the rosary. It seems that they don’t have a custom or familiar with this prayer. We gave them copy of the rosary prayer. At 2 p.m. we returned to Hyde Park by CTA train and bus. After taking a nap in the afternoon, I was practicing the Eucharist at the chapel wearing a white cassock and red chasuble because tomorrow afternoon I have to do it with my group at our chapel in the Xaverians house.
In the supper of our community in which Valery cooked hamburger and chicken, we had very alive conversation among us. It was the continuation of yesterday’s conversation that I also wondered we have more spontaneous conversation among us that create a good environment of our community. May this will be continued next time. Even, the community was gathering at night to watch a DVD at the basement after the supper. Bravo….
Reflection on Friday, October 14, 2005
I was born and raised in a small city in East Java Province, Indonesia. Since I was born until leaving my historical site for Jakarta after graduating of High School, I had been shaped by some Catholic congregations who are still working until now in Madiun. It is nice to see that through various kinds of religious congregations I was growing toward my vocation in the Xaverians. I owe to the sisters of Missionaries Claris from the Blessed Sacrament (Mexican ‘Madres’), the Ursulin Sisters, Congregation of Aloysius Brothers, and the Vincentian priests. I was born at a hospital named Panti Bagija, Madiun, belongs to the Missionaries Claris Sisters, going to kindergarten at Saint Bernardus, Madiun, belongs to Ursulin Sisters, going to primary school for 6 years at Saint Joseph, Madiun, belongs to the Aloysian Brothers, having catechumen teaching with a Missionaries Claris sister from 14 to 16 years old, and eventually baptized by an Italian Vincentian priest on December 24, 1990. I think those who have shaped my spiritual life in Catholic Church are still in my mind and memory until now. It is always my pleasure to visit them when I came home as well as my gratitude to them who have influenced my spiritual life. The last time I came home in August 2002, I did some visit to the children in the classes and told some stories as animation to them. I realized that when I was in those schools, I never had such experience being visited by a religious or seminarian in the class. So, I was having good time with the children whom I visited even the sisters, the principals of the schools as well as some teachers who still remembered me welcomed me very nicely. My dream at that time and still until now is coming to visit them again and celebrating Mass as my first Eucharist when the time for me becomes a priest comes. I think the missionary seed that have been planted in my experience and education during my life in my city bears fruit with vocation I have now in the Xaverians. Explicitly, those who had met me during my life in Madiun never expected that someday I would become a seminarian or a priest because I was just baptized at 16 years old. My mother was a Catholic but my father is not a Catholic and they married in Saint Cornelius Catholic Church Madiun in 1971. Their marriage was blessed by an Italian Vincentian priest as I saw their pictures.
The important story of my vocation toward priesthood is when a lady in my Catholic neighbor was saying to me in one Rosary prayer with other fellows, “You’re worthy becoming a priest, I would like to pray for you in special way.” Apparently, her voice and message was drawing me to know more about vocation life entering a seminary becoming a priest. Eventually, I found a Catholic newspaper, HIDUP, with the advertisement of the Xaverian Missionaries. I got it from the house of the lady who said to me to become a priest when at another occasion of rosary prayer in May 1991. The idea of becoming a Xaverian priest remained in my teenage time but my father was upset to me if I become a priest. It makes sense because he is not a Catholic. My discernment to enter the Xaverian continued until I came to Jakarta for working for three years (1993-1996). I joined the Xaverians in 1996 in the pre-novitiate, Bintaro, Jakarta. We were 15 young men and all of them coming from minor seminary except me.
Mission for me as a seminarian, who almost finishes my M.Div program (7 more months) is doing good things wherever I am. My perspective to be a missionary is changing as I study theology at CTU, Chicago. I do not perceive any more that mission is always working in a difficult area, third world country or the place where Christians are very few. My understanding of mission is completely widened by the vision that everywhere in the world is mission site for me regardless those criteria. My eagerness to go to ideal place as a missionary is reduced because of this perspective. I am thinking in the last couple of weeks to return to my own country next year after graduating of my M.Div study to know more about the mission of my Xaverian confreres since I never had experience of doing pastoral work there. What is going to happen, I just surrender to the Mission that is belonged to GOD self.
Name: Denny Wahyudi, SX
Course: EMP-4100 (Living the Values of The Reign of God: Justice, Peace, Integrity of Creation, Reconciliation)
Due: October 18, 2005
CASE STUDY SCENARIO ON RACISM, TRIBALISM, AND XENOPHOBIA
A. My real personal story
My name is Denny Wahyudi, SX (the Xaverian Missionaries Student) from Indonesia. When I started my first year of theology at Catholic Theological Union (CTU) at the beginning of September 2003 with quarter system, I did not know anything about the program of academic study at CTU. I learned of M.Div (Master of Divinity) system by myself and nobody told me what to do with this program for priesthood in Catholic Church. Luckily, I have read the book about CTU when I was in Indonesia because my Indonesian older confrere sent it for me as I asked him. At least I know little bit and learned more after I came into the system as a CTU student. What made me feeling neglected, sad, discriminated and suspected as an Indonesian student (Asian) is when I found out that my theological studies in Indonesia could not be transferred at CTU. There was only one letter from CTU mentioned that I was in the advanced standing of M.Div. It means there is none credit transferred. I did not know what does it mean until later on I knew that it was totally different with my older confrere from Indonesia whose more “lucky” experience that his theological studies from Indonesia could be transferred at CTU when he entered CTU in 2001. My formator was upset when I asked about this case and I did not make any appeal to CTU or others. I have shown my theological studies list with its grades (the transcript) from Indonesia to the director of M.Div at that time and my advisor but it seemed to me that they did not have plan to transfer my credits from Indonesia. I did show it to them in the early quarter 2003. Knowing that I was being discriminated in this sense, I kept quiet even though I kept asking other Indonesian students at SVD’s and my older confrere in the Xaverians to make sure of their experience regards on this case. After comparing to them, I know that they could transfer their theological studies from Indonesia in the beginning of their study at CTU. I am from the same school with my older confrere in the Xaverian. Our theology and philosophy school is run by Jesuit and Franciscan in Jakarta, Indonesia. I see that my theological studies are pretty the same like my Xaverian confrere whose different only two years with me. Until the end of quarter there was nothing changed to my case. Since I was a student of a religious congregation, so I have to obey whatever my superior or the CTU faculty did for me. I was afraid to raise this issue because my formator always got upset to me when I asked of it. Better I kept silent and obeyed him since I still wanted to be a member of this religious community and studied theology in order to become a priest.
I felt that nobody concern about my case even though I always told this to my other confreres. In January 2004 my Superior General and one of the councilors came to visit my community in Chicago. When they asked me about my study, I told them honestly what was going on in my study. I told them that I have no credits could be transferred at CTU. I do not know exactly until now because of my information to my superiors from Rome so that eventually in May 2004 I got a letter of M.Div director of CTU notified that I could transfer some credits to CTU or because it was really a correction, a fair and honest treatment to me from CTU itself. I was wondering to see and read this conversion letter written by the M.Div director, May 13, 2004 addressed to the dean of CTU, “…I misread Denny’s transcript and gone him only Advanced Standing for what should have been Transfer Credit” and I got the copy of it. Finally, I was very happy that I could transfer my credits. My happiness was not fully a real happiness because it is a conditional one. My advisor told me that according to my formator I have to study four years theology at CTU. It means that I have to take M.A. studies while I am studying M.Div because I can finish my M.Div program in three years. It is a usual and normal time that other Indonesian students both SVD’s and one Xaverian eventually done. I was feeling forced to take more study (M.A.) at CTU even though I was not feeling confident with my capacity. Willy-nilly I took M.A. in the major of spirituality after entering the second year of my studies at CTU just to make my superior be happy.
What made me feeling discouraged and disappointed again regards this case is when my two younger confreres in the Xaverians from Indonesia entered CTU in 2004 with semester system. Before they started CTU, they had received a letter from M.Div director (the same person with my first year at CTU) mentioned that they could transfer their theological credits from Indonesia. One of them is my classmate in theological studies in Indonesia and we graduated of the same school in 2002 and the other one graduated in 2001. I was curious to know what kind of the letter and the credit transfer. After I compared with my own experience in my first year at CTU and the number of transferred credit they have, my feeling to be discriminated popped up again. I counted on my semester system check-list that I only have 8 and a half courses in transferring credits but both of my confreres who just began their study at CTU already received around 16 to 18 courses are transferred. I rationalized this case, “O because the system of CTU now is new, semester system.” But, there is one question that I pondered here, “Why the credit transfer of mine are very different with theirs?” They can put on their electives checklist at least four courses but me. Their total transferred courses are twice of mine. Is it fair? Then I asked myself, “Don’t I have much more good grades on my theological studies in Indonesia compares to them. My total grade of my previous theology and philosophy studies in four years program in Jakarta, Indonesia is 3.67 instead they only have 3.33 and the other one is below them. What made the difference on this case?” This comparison continued when my other confrere from Indonesia entered CTU in 2005 and he also could transfer his theological studies. He could transfer 16 courses on the checklist.
It is a reality of injustice that I have to endure in my theological studies at CTU. I always ask and reflect: “What is justice in this case, what is the truth that my professors at CTU always teach me in daily studies. Why did they do this unusual and different treatment toward me. What is the difference between me with the others?” I feel sometimes depressed and continue to feel discriminated as a person compares to the others. Until someday I came to the M.Div director to make an appeal to transfer two more courses for my M.Div study. Fortunately, I could argue and the M.Div director did transfer two more courses. So, now I have 10.5 courses transferred at CTU. For me personally, it does not matter whether I could transfer my credits or not. What make difference is my feeling being discriminated as a person whose the same studies with all of my Indonesian friends even I have better grades than them. My feeling to be discriminated is never ending since I experienced it as a painful one in my life and there is no apologized notification of some characters involved in this matter. Every time I remember this experience my heart and mind are bothered and needless to say that I am angry, very, very angry but I cannot express it. Since I can graduate of M.Div in three years, hopefully in May 18, 2006, so I feel less disappointed to this case. I could finish my M.Div in three years because I am very concern on my studies. I took courses on J-Term, summer and CPE during last summer in order to finish my M.Div program in three years. I worked and studied hard in this M.Div program. If I want to compare again myself with my other Indonesian confreres, I have taken more courses at CTU in M.Div program because the number of my transferred credits is the least one. I think it is very normal that I can finish my M.Div in three years. It is exactly the same like other Indonesian students who study M.Div at CTU, before and after me. I am in the middle of them and I have experienced improper/unusual treatment regard the certainty and lack of credit transferred. Fortunately, I can bear this situation and negative feeling until I put them into words on this paper. I am glad that eventually I can express this case in this class whose concern on the personal experience on racism, tribalism and xenophobia. How do you feel and what do you do if you were I?
B.
1. The Resolution to the case:
The central moral issue in the case is the discrimination toward an individual right and equality of the same treatment as a student. In my part as a new student, I was just observing what was going on in the reality without somebody told me clearly what was going wrong beside my suspicion that my right was denied by the respective authority. I was feeling afraid of the authority, who forced me to accept whatever their evaluation to my previous theological study. My formator is supposedly the one who responsible in my early time in academic year explaining what to do as a new student but in reality he did not care enough in my case. I was wrestling deeply with injustice and discriminated feeling. Probably he had special intention for me not to do the same like my Indonesian confrere who could transfer some credits at CTU but he never told me face-to-face and honest way in the beginning. It seemed to me that there was a hidden scenario to avoid my credits be transferred. The M.Div director was doing her job in obeying what my formator asked to do without paying attention what is going on in the reality and effect on me as a new student. The director of M.Div program was supposedly prudent to see what kind of theological studies I have done in Indonesia, not only trusted plainly on my formator. Once I showed the transcript of my theological studies to the M.Div director but the director did not have any concern to transfer any of my credits even though I told that my older confrere could transfer two years ago. The treatment of the M.Div director was really disappointed me and led me to be silent because I was in the weak and voiceless position in which nobody concerned at all to my case. My academic advisor was quite the same like the M.Div director that I suspect he was told by my formator not to transfer my credits because often times I showed and asked my case in transferring credit but he was acting like an innocent person who did not know the real issue. Again, it caused me to be silent and kept all of these in my deep down heart. The superiors from Rome were doing the right way if I am true that their visit to my community changed my destiny, namely they asked my formator to change his treatment toward me regard the transferred credits. I am not sure of this issue since I was never told honestly and clearly by both sides. I just predicted that their visit made changing after quite a while. Unfortunately, the changing was not quick in response of the authority (my formator, my advisor, and the M.Div director) because I always asked this case to my advisor many times but he always forgot to pursue until a letter came up from the M.Div director written on May 13, 2004. How late it is if I considered the visit of my superiors from Rome in the end of January 2004.
Psychologically speaking I was depressed on the situation where nobody concerns of my case. Even when there was a hope for me but I had to be patient to wait for those who are responsible on my case. Patience and patience in my daily uncertainty cost me to surrender on whatever their decision I just had to be happy. I almost gave up since there was no serious rectification on my case. At a certain point I was stuck on vacuum not knowing what to do in my study planning. I did not know what courses I would take next semester in a new system at CTU. Even on the workshop day of conversion system at CTU from quarter to semester system, I still did not know whether I could transfer my credits or not while I saw one SVD student has a letter of the CTU dean regards the transferred credit of his theological study from Washington D.C. to CTU. It made me more confused and jealous and had prejudice: “How come I am a Xaverian student having some theology studies compared to SVD student whose the similar theology study but I was neglected in transferring credit. He is an SVD student and the dean of CTU is an SVD priest. What is going on here?” My negative perception toward others at CTU was decreasing after that moment. As a person I felt I was an unlucky one compared to other fellow students. Fortunately, I had inner strength to endure this hard situation. I used to have more difficult cases in my own family and my process to get the U.S. visa and that time I had to have “unfortunate one” again. Who am I, always having difficulty in this vocation toward priesthood? I believe that all of these occasions give me strength and confidence because when I am weak I am strong. Even my feeling of hatred toward those who have responsibility on me in this case, I changed becoming a prayer for all of them. Let it be as God’s will happen to me. With all difficulties I get used to be grateful and always aware and struggle to do better in the future. I could not imagine if I am never challenged by any difficulty in my life; probably, I would be spoiled and once I got trouble, I could be very down and extremely do suicide in worst possibility because nobody cares of me. Thanks God I still survive until now no matter what problem I face in my life.
Theologically speaking, God is always in the side of those who are oppressed and neglected. God has wonderful scenario on the humans’ story that often times we as human beings not to be patient and aware of God’s signs. My surrender on God’s will is totally changing my perception toward others. God drew me to be a silent actor in little and smart ways, such as finding ways to be peace with those who are involved in this case. I am a typical person who does not like fight against other frontally. I am a peace and pacified man. I worked on my case tacitly and where there is opportunity I would do it directly with my own mature plan such as doing my appeal to add two more courses be transferred as I was taking time to ponder seriously on my theological studies and CTU program. I am a sort of person who always concerns on my studies in fulfilling all obligations as a student. Even I took care of my siblings in enrolling to their new schools before I left for a big city to work and it continued to do so with my younger Xaverian confreres in Indonesia and those who came to the U.S.A. after me. I was asking to myself: “Why I always take care of others but in my basic needs nobody cares and concerns on my case especially in my study, namely, transferring credits? Instead the things that should not happen in my life it hit me unpredictably.
I have advice and suggestion to some characters in this story. For my formator, I believe he has a good intention toward his new students but I propose to him to be clear and honest in the beginning so I did not have to think by myself what was going on behind his scenario. It cost me negative perception and bad feeling toward him that is not necessarily happened if he told me in the beginning. It seems to me that he does not have fixed policy in my case. It is evident when my Superior General and one councilor came to visit, my case was discussed again, I supposed. Eventually, things were changed drastically. For CTU both my advisor and M.Div director: I do not know what kind of professional assessment of them to evaluate one new student enrolls to CTU. I found out that the assessment of M.Div director did not base upon the real fact. The director assessed based only on the director’s thought without consultation with the new students and knowing the previous school of them. In the reality there is a big different regards on the number of transferred credits between me and other students (both the students before and after me) is an evident that there is no serious and professional treatment to know a new student and his previous study. I believe the director can do better in assessing the new student entering CTU in knowing carefully and prudently where the student comes from so that the student feels his rights are respected as same as other students. If there are some students coming from the same school and same subjects, why the director did much different assessment on the transferring credits? It is just easy to make quite the same assessment based upon the previous students.
2) In the magisterial documents I find out that:
- “…recognize and satisfy the right of all to a human and social culture in conformity with the dignity of the human person without any discrimination of race, sex, nation, religion or social condition” (Gaudium at Spes, article 60). In my case, I feel discriminated as a person whose previous studies from ‘third world country’ compared to ‘the first world country’ even though the content of the studies are similar.
- “…In order that they may fulfill their function, let it be recognized that all the faithful, whether clerics or laity, possess a lawful freedom of inquiry, freedom of thought and of expressing their mind with humility and fortitude in those matters on which they enjoy competence” (GS 62). I felt that my aspiration and my freedom to make appeal regards equality of transferring credit was being neglected by the respective authority.
- “…the Church stands forth as a sign of that brotherhood which allows honest dialogue and gives it vigor…Therefore, if we have been summoned to the same dignity, human and divine, we can and we should work together without violence and deceit in order to build up the world in genuine peace. For our part, the desire for such dialogue, which can lead through love alone, excludes no one” (GS 92). I felt in the beginning that there was a hidden scenario on my case, without honesty face to face and no dialogue at all. I felt being cheated.
On the document of Pontifical Commission Justice and Peace, The Church and Racism, I find out:
- “…in the West as in the East, in the North as in the South, one can already find unjust and discriminatory behavior, but one cannot in every case speak about racism as such” (article 2). I could not imagine that in the famous education institution in the U.S.A. there is still discrimination toward a new student that was not supposedly happened for a quite time toward one person.
- “The victims are certain groups of persons whose physical appearance or ethnic, cultural or religious characteristics are different from those of the dominant group, and are interpreted by the latter as being signs of an innate and definitive inferiority, thereby justifying all discriminatory practices in their regard. If, in fact, race defines a human group in terms of immutable and hereditary physical traits, racist prejudice, which dictates racist behavior, can be applied by extension, with equally negative effects, to all persons whose ethnic origin, language, religion or customs make them appear different” (article 8). I was being suspected as a student whose undergraduate level from “third world country” without considering the equality and same rights like other students.
From Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace entitled Contribution to World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance (Durban, 31 August – 7 September 2001), I find out:
- “The primary demand is therefore respect for truth. Lying, untrustworthiness, corruption, and ideological or political manipulation make it possible to restore peaceful social relations. …Such justice must respect the fundamental dignity of the human person at all times” (article 11). If there is a manipulation of the truth regards on my case, what should I say toward those who have planned and broken it? What is the truth in it?
- “From the legal point of view, all persons (individual or corporate) have a right to equitable reparation if personally and directly they have suffered injury (material or moral)…An example of this is the offering of an apology or expression of regret to the victim” (article 12). I wonder in fact, there is no special conversation or apology toward me after they found out there is a ‘misread on my previous study’ being made by the respective authority of CTU or my formator.
- “Education is a matter of teaching the human being to become “ever more human”, to “be more” rather than to “have more”. Thus the human being learns to “be” “with others”, but even more to be “for others.” That is why “education is of fundamental importance for the formation of inter-personal and social relations” (article 14). I do not see the real engaging and honest inter-personal relationship between me as a student with the respective authority regards on my case. Do not they know that I was injured morally by their policy?
- “…the unity of the human race, the dignity of every human being, the solidarity which bonds together all the members of the human family….without education in moral values, in the people and with their leaders or future leaders, every construction of peace remains fragile” (article 15). I do not know whether they realize that there is injustice issue on this little case that cost me feeling no peace. They should consider that they are model of leaders in the Church who are supposedly giving a good example toward me as a new student and a future leader in the Church.
- “…the Church insists on the irreplaceable role of religions, and of the Christian faith especially, in the area of education regarding human rights” (article 17). If we are dealing about education, mainly in the theological studies for ministry in the Church, what we are living out in the reality should be an implementation of respect on human rights, basic human rights, namely, the right of a new student to know why the policy was different. But, in reality, there was an unclear story behind my case.
- “…these measures of positive discrimination must be temporary, that they ought not have the effect of maintaining different rights for different groups, and that they must not be kept in force once their objectives have been achieved” (article 19). I am glad that eventually my ‘tragic experience’ is not repeated toward my younger confreres.
- “Freedom of conscience and freedom of religion remain the premise, the principle and the foundation of every other freedom, human and civil, individual and communal” (article 22). As an individual person, I have a right to speak up and make appeal for justice as I perceive but in reality I was shut up and intimidated by the authority that makes me bit trauma in some degree and mentally being discouraged and drew to inferior complex as a person of a certain group such as Indonesian, Asian, etc.
3) In my local bishop conference I am not sure there is a document regards on this issue. But, I know that in Indonesia there is always a policy to consider the transfer credits at a new school in the same status between the old and new school. Why should one repeat the same subject if he/she has already taken at the previous school?
4) Summary: I might feel better if there was a clarification in the beginning on my case. But in fact that this case was fixed at the end of my first year at CTU. I could have been better in knowing what subjects I could take and did not necessarily take in the early of my study at CTU because I did not need them. Even after there was a rectification of this case in May after my first year almost finished, there is no certain apologized note addressed toward me who feels neglected and discriminated as a person and an Indonesian (Asian) student. The good things were finally there is a policy to transfer my credits even though there is still not quite the same compares to other Indonesian students whose the same school and same subjects like me. Actually, I have been grateful to the final treatment of CTU toward my younger confreres and myself from Indonesia because they did not need to suffer like me in the beginning. I am grateful because I can finish my M.Div in three years at CTU and it means I am very near to my final decision to be an ordained minister in my religious congregation, the Xaverians.
Monday, October 10, 2005.
This week the liturgical team is Father Pascal, Alejandro and myself. In the morning I attended the Amos class and I studied at the library. At 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. in the group we practiced the Eucharistic presiding at the 6th floor chapel. The second part of the presiding class, Father Fragomeni taught us how to say the Mass presiding completely. Next week we have to practice in small group presiding the Eucharist and my group will take place at our Xaverian chapel. At 5 to 6 p.m. I led the lectio divina; I did split the group becoming two sharing group in which I asked each one of us to take a lot A or B. Coincidentally, I have group that consisted of Father Pascal and 4 Indonesian students including me. I think this method I applied successfully in Indonesia and I see one good point to share when we have small group. The tendency to share in big group (10-11 people) is only the same people speak and share and always the same people will not speak. I think it is a good method to force little bit to talk and share in the group despite sleepiness of some members in the group waiting for others talking. Even though there is negative aspect of this method such as not everybody know what other group share, but at least we have tried to speak in engaging way even honestly and plainly without hesitance. It is exactly I experienced when I led some lay Catholic group when I was in Jakarta.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005.
In the morning I read some reading assignments on the Internet for my EMP (Social justice class) and in the evening I attended this class taught by Dawn Notwehr.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005.
I attended the Amos class in the morning and did my paper on social justice class (EMP) that I would share as well in the below of this journal.
Thursday, October 13, 2005.
I attended the class of Dialogue and Inculturation taught by Edmund Chia. In the kitchen there’s Father Adolph, sx who visited us today. I did cook for the community, beef curry, rice, green-bean dessert and shrimp crackers. At 5 p.m. Alejandro led us the Holy Prayer with topic of Mission. At 7.30 p.m. to 9.10 p.m. we had community meeting led by Father Victor, sharing about our experience celebrating the World Mission Sunday. It’s a quite engaging conversation since all of us shared our own experience that is unique in our own original sites, our own country and experience. Today while I was cooking, I received a letter from my supervisors at Alexian Brothers Medical Center about my CPE evaluation. I shared this evaluation to Father Victor. I satisfy to this evaluation.
Friday, October 14, 2005.
In the Mass I shared my experience some mission works of Catholic Church since born, grew up in my hometown, Madiun toward my vocation call becoming a missionary in the Xaverians. I shared it at the below of this journal. After the Mass and the breakfast, I went to CTU to go with Daniel, a Viatorian student, to a Theravada Buddhist temple on Magnolia Avenue, North side of Chicago. For our class of Dialogue and Inculturation, my group that consists of Daniel, Judy, Long Phi and myself decided to visit this Buddhist temple. From 9 to 10.30 a.m. we had dialogue with a Buddhist monk from Thailand named Ratana who has been living in the U.S.A. for 18 years. It’s interesting conversation for all of us that will be useful for our report to the class. I was in charge in the beginning to contact the monk via phone. The monk gave each one of us a book about chanting in Pali language. He promised to send me a CD about Dharma teaching that we think will be helpful for our presentation at the class. On the way home, I asked Dan to drop me at the public library downtown. I returned and borrowed some six DVD’s. After having a rest in the afternoon, I helped Father Victor to cook for our community, just warming up Pizza, Lasagna and chicken soup. From 7 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. I attended and taped with the handy-cam recorder the worship practicum of Jacques Bahati at the Xaverian chapel. At night I was doing research on the Internet for my first paper of EMP class.
Saturday, October 15, 2005.
After having breakfast, I worked cleaning up the kitchen especially the dining room floor and the stove. In the afternoon I did practice by myself the Eucharistic presiding at the chapel. In the supper (cooked by Valery) we had nice and longer than usual conversation and very engaging one. I do type this journal in the evening.
Sunday, October 16, 2005.
I woke up in the morning at 7 a.m., took shower and prayed the breviary personally at my room. After the breakfast, Valery and I went to Chinatown to attend the 9.30 morning Mass. In the Mass, there is a new deacon of SVD’s named Paul. He is my classmate at the presiding class at CTU. He and Cesare, a Jesuit student helped Father Michael to share communion in the Mass while I was sitting together with the altar servers at the altar as well. I felt not doing anything in the Mass. Actually, I feel not comfortable if I do not do anything in the Mass while I have to sit together with other ministers. Maybe because I am a conformist man, so whatever my formators ask to do as far as I can do it, that’s no problem for me. Even though like so, I just criticize myself: why I should dress up with alb without having role in the Mass; it does not make sense. If my formator told me in order to be known by the congregation, why the way to make it is only during the Mass, is there any other way to fulfill it?
Other thing is I admire the openness of Father Michael as the pastor of Saint Therese Church in Chinatown Chicago who welcomes everybody to involve in the parish. It is evident with the presence of an SVD deacon who does his deaconate year at this parish, a Jesuit student who teaches the Confirmation children with me, and two Xaverian students, namely Valery who teaches CCD program (6th graders) and myself teach the confirmation program. Even I saw Indonesian youth who like to come to this parish to participate in the Mass, such as Marvin who volunteers himself every Saturday in the Mass and works cleaning up the church, Edi and Lisa, an Indonesia coupple who help Father Michael as well doing little things at the rectory, at least I saw them before I left the church today. Even Lisa becomes a teacher at the first grade of CCD program. Father Michael witness is really giving me a good example to be an open person to many different people who have good will to work together. It is also a real formation and education for me as a Xaverian student who prepares myself to be a missionary priest in the near future.
From 10.45 a.m. to 12 p.m. together with Cesare, SJ, I was teaching the confirmation children with the topic about the rosary. It seems that they don’t have a custom or familiar with this prayer. We gave them copy of the rosary prayer. At 2 p.m. we returned to Hyde Park by CTA train and bus. After taking a nap in the afternoon, I was practicing the Eucharist at the chapel wearing a white cassock and red chasuble because tomorrow afternoon I have to do it with my group at our chapel in the Xaverians house.
In the supper of our community in which Valery cooked hamburger and chicken, we had very alive conversation among us. It was the continuation of yesterday’s conversation that I also wondered we have more spontaneous conversation among us that create a good environment of our community. May this will be continued next time. Even, the community was gathering at night to watch a DVD at the basement after the supper. Bravo….
Reflection on Friday, October 14, 2005
I was born and raised in a small city in East Java Province, Indonesia. Since I was born until leaving my historical site for Jakarta after graduating of High School, I had been shaped by some Catholic congregations who are still working until now in Madiun. It is nice to see that through various kinds of religious congregations I was growing toward my vocation in the Xaverians. I owe to the sisters of Missionaries Claris from the Blessed Sacrament (Mexican ‘Madres’), the Ursulin Sisters, Congregation of Aloysius Brothers, and the Vincentian priests. I was born at a hospital named Panti Bagija, Madiun, belongs to the Missionaries Claris Sisters, going to kindergarten at Saint Bernardus, Madiun, belongs to Ursulin Sisters, going to primary school for 6 years at Saint Joseph, Madiun, belongs to the Aloysian Brothers, having catechumen teaching with a Missionaries Claris sister from 14 to 16 years old, and eventually baptized by an Italian Vincentian priest on December 24, 1990. I think those who have shaped my spiritual life in Catholic Church are still in my mind and memory until now. It is always my pleasure to visit them when I came home as well as my gratitude to them who have influenced my spiritual life. The last time I came home in August 2002, I did some visit to the children in the classes and told some stories as animation to them. I realized that when I was in those schools, I never had such experience being visited by a religious or seminarian in the class. So, I was having good time with the children whom I visited even the sisters, the principals of the schools as well as some teachers who still remembered me welcomed me very nicely. My dream at that time and still until now is coming to visit them again and celebrating Mass as my first Eucharist when the time for me becomes a priest comes. I think the missionary seed that have been planted in my experience and education during my life in my city bears fruit with vocation I have now in the Xaverians. Explicitly, those who had met me during my life in Madiun never expected that someday I would become a seminarian or a priest because I was just baptized at 16 years old. My mother was a Catholic but my father is not a Catholic and they married in Saint Cornelius Catholic Church Madiun in 1971. Their marriage was blessed by an Italian Vincentian priest as I saw their pictures.
The important story of my vocation toward priesthood is when a lady in my Catholic neighbor was saying to me in one Rosary prayer with other fellows, “You’re worthy becoming a priest, I would like to pray for you in special way.” Apparently, her voice and message was drawing me to know more about vocation life entering a seminary becoming a priest. Eventually, I found a Catholic newspaper, HIDUP, with the advertisement of the Xaverian Missionaries. I got it from the house of the lady who said to me to become a priest when at another occasion of rosary prayer in May 1991. The idea of becoming a Xaverian priest remained in my teenage time but my father was upset to me if I become a priest. It makes sense because he is not a Catholic. My discernment to enter the Xaverian continued until I came to Jakarta for working for three years (1993-1996). I joined the Xaverians in 1996 in the pre-novitiate, Bintaro, Jakarta. We were 15 young men and all of them coming from minor seminary except me.
Mission for me as a seminarian, who almost finishes my M.Div program (7 more months) is doing good things wherever I am. My perspective to be a missionary is changing as I study theology at CTU, Chicago. I do not perceive any more that mission is always working in a difficult area, third world country or the place where Christians are very few. My understanding of mission is completely widened by the vision that everywhere in the world is mission site for me regardless those criteria. My eagerness to go to ideal place as a missionary is reduced because of this perspective. I am thinking in the last couple of weeks to return to my own country next year after graduating of my M.Div study to know more about the mission of my Xaverian confreres since I never had experience of doing pastoral work there. What is going to happen, I just surrender to the Mission that is belonged to GOD self.
Name: Denny Wahyudi, SX
Course: EMP-4100 (Living the Values of The Reign of God: Justice, Peace, Integrity of Creation, Reconciliation)
Due: October 18, 2005
CASE STUDY SCENARIO ON RACISM, TRIBALISM, AND XENOPHOBIA
A. My real personal story
My name is Denny Wahyudi, SX (the Xaverian Missionaries Student) from Indonesia. When I started my first year of theology at Catholic Theological Union (CTU) at the beginning of September 2003 with quarter system, I did not know anything about the program of academic study at CTU. I learned of M.Div (Master of Divinity) system by myself and nobody told me what to do with this program for priesthood in Catholic Church. Luckily, I have read the book about CTU when I was in Indonesia because my Indonesian older confrere sent it for me as I asked him. At least I know little bit and learned more after I came into the system as a CTU student. What made me feeling neglected, sad, discriminated and suspected as an Indonesian student (Asian) is when I found out that my theological studies in Indonesia could not be transferred at CTU. There was only one letter from CTU mentioned that I was in the advanced standing of M.Div. It means there is none credit transferred. I did not know what does it mean until later on I knew that it was totally different with my older confrere from Indonesia whose more “lucky” experience that his theological studies from Indonesia could be transferred at CTU when he entered CTU in 2001. My formator was upset when I asked about this case and I did not make any appeal to CTU or others. I have shown my theological studies list with its grades (the transcript) from Indonesia to the director of M.Div at that time and my advisor but it seemed to me that they did not have plan to transfer my credits from Indonesia. I did show it to them in the early quarter 2003. Knowing that I was being discriminated in this sense, I kept quiet even though I kept asking other Indonesian students at SVD’s and my older confrere in the Xaverians to make sure of their experience regards on this case. After comparing to them, I know that they could transfer their theological studies from Indonesia in the beginning of their study at CTU. I am from the same school with my older confrere in the Xaverian. Our theology and philosophy school is run by Jesuit and Franciscan in Jakarta, Indonesia. I see that my theological studies are pretty the same like my Xaverian confrere whose different only two years with me. Until the end of quarter there was nothing changed to my case. Since I was a student of a religious congregation, so I have to obey whatever my superior or the CTU faculty did for me. I was afraid to raise this issue because my formator always got upset to me when I asked of it. Better I kept silent and obeyed him since I still wanted to be a member of this religious community and studied theology in order to become a priest.
I felt that nobody concern about my case even though I always told this to my other confreres. In January 2004 my Superior General and one of the councilors came to visit my community in Chicago. When they asked me about my study, I told them honestly what was going on in my study. I told them that I have no credits could be transferred at CTU. I do not know exactly until now because of my information to my superiors from Rome so that eventually in May 2004 I got a letter of M.Div director of CTU notified that I could transfer some credits to CTU or because it was really a correction, a fair and honest treatment to me from CTU itself. I was wondering to see and read this conversion letter written by the M.Div director, May 13, 2004 addressed to the dean of CTU, “…I misread Denny’s transcript and gone him only Advanced Standing for what should have been Transfer Credit” and I got the copy of it. Finally, I was very happy that I could transfer my credits. My happiness was not fully a real happiness because it is a conditional one. My advisor told me that according to my formator I have to study four years theology at CTU. It means that I have to take M.A. studies while I am studying M.Div because I can finish my M.Div program in three years. It is a usual and normal time that other Indonesian students both SVD’s and one Xaverian eventually done. I was feeling forced to take more study (M.A.) at CTU even though I was not feeling confident with my capacity. Willy-nilly I took M.A. in the major of spirituality after entering the second year of my studies at CTU just to make my superior be happy.
What made me feeling discouraged and disappointed again regards this case is when my two younger confreres in the Xaverians from Indonesia entered CTU in 2004 with semester system. Before they started CTU, they had received a letter from M.Div director (the same person with my first year at CTU) mentioned that they could transfer their theological credits from Indonesia. One of them is my classmate in theological studies in Indonesia and we graduated of the same school in 2002 and the other one graduated in 2001. I was curious to know what kind of the letter and the credit transfer. After I compared with my own experience in my first year at CTU and the number of transferred credit they have, my feeling to be discriminated popped up again. I counted on my semester system check-list that I only have 8 and a half courses in transferring credits but both of my confreres who just began their study at CTU already received around 16 to 18 courses are transferred. I rationalized this case, “O because the system of CTU now is new, semester system.” But, there is one question that I pondered here, “Why the credit transfer of mine are very different with theirs?” They can put on their electives checklist at least four courses but me. Their total transferred courses are twice of mine. Is it fair? Then I asked myself, “Don’t I have much more good grades on my theological studies in Indonesia compares to them. My total grade of my previous theology and philosophy studies in four years program in Jakarta, Indonesia is 3.67 instead they only have 3.33 and the other one is below them. What made the difference on this case?” This comparison continued when my other confrere from Indonesia entered CTU in 2005 and he also could transfer his theological studies. He could transfer 16 courses on the checklist.
It is a reality of injustice that I have to endure in my theological studies at CTU. I always ask and reflect: “What is justice in this case, what is the truth that my professors at CTU always teach me in daily studies. Why did they do this unusual and different treatment toward me. What is the difference between me with the others?” I feel sometimes depressed and continue to feel discriminated as a person compares to the others. Until someday I came to the M.Div director to make an appeal to transfer two more courses for my M.Div study. Fortunately, I could argue and the M.Div director did transfer two more courses. So, now I have 10.5 courses transferred at CTU. For me personally, it does not matter whether I could transfer my credits or not. What make difference is my feeling being discriminated as a person whose the same studies with all of my Indonesian friends even I have better grades than them. My feeling to be discriminated is never ending since I experienced it as a painful one in my life and there is no apologized notification of some characters involved in this matter. Every time I remember this experience my heart and mind are bothered and needless to say that I am angry, very, very angry but I cannot express it. Since I can graduate of M.Div in three years, hopefully in May 18, 2006, so I feel less disappointed to this case. I could finish my M.Div in three years because I am very concern on my studies. I took courses on J-Term, summer and CPE during last summer in order to finish my M.Div program in three years. I worked and studied hard in this M.Div program. If I want to compare again myself with my other Indonesian confreres, I have taken more courses at CTU in M.Div program because the number of my transferred credits is the least one. I think it is very normal that I can finish my M.Div in three years. It is exactly the same like other Indonesian students who study M.Div at CTU, before and after me. I am in the middle of them and I have experienced improper/unusual treatment regard the certainty and lack of credit transferred. Fortunately, I can bear this situation and negative feeling until I put them into words on this paper. I am glad that eventually I can express this case in this class whose concern on the personal experience on racism, tribalism and xenophobia. How do you feel and what do you do if you were I?
B.
1. The Resolution to the case:
The central moral issue in the case is the discrimination toward an individual right and equality of the same treatment as a student. In my part as a new student, I was just observing what was going on in the reality without somebody told me clearly what was going wrong beside my suspicion that my right was denied by the respective authority. I was feeling afraid of the authority, who forced me to accept whatever their evaluation to my previous theological study. My formator is supposedly the one who responsible in my early time in academic year explaining what to do as a new student but in reality he did not care enough in my case. I was wrestling deeply with injustice and discriminated feeling. Probably he had special intention for me not to do the same like my Indonesian confrere who could transfer some credits at CTU but he never told me face-to-face and honest way in the beginning. It seemed to me that there was a hidden scenario to avoid my credits be transferred. The M.Div director was doing her job in obeying what my formator asked to do without paying attention what is going on in the reality and effect on me as a new student. The director of M.Div program was supposedly prudent to see what kind of theological studies I have done in Indonesia, not only trusted plainly on my formator. Once I showed the transcript of my theological studies to the M.Div director but the director did not have any concern to transfer any of my credits even though I told that my older confrere could transfer two years ago. The treatment of the M.Div director was really disappointed me and led me to be silent because I was in the weak and voiceless position in which nobody concerned at all to my case. My academic advisor was quite the same like the M.Div director that I suspect he was told by my formator not to transfer my credits because often times I showed and asked my case in transferring credit but he was acting like an innocent person who did not know the real issue. Again, it caused me to be silent and kept all of these in my deep down heart. The superiors from Rome were doing the right way if I am true that their visit to my community changed my destiny, namely they asked my formator to change his treatment toward me regard the transferred credits. I am not sure of this issue since I was never told honestly and clearly by both sides. I just predicted that their visit made changing after quite a while. Unfortunately, the changing was not quick in response of the authority (my formator, my advisor, and the M.Div director) because I always asked this case to my advisor many times but he always forgot to pursue until a letter came up from the M.Div director written on May 13, 2004. How late it is if I considered the visit of my superiors from Rome in the end of January 2004.
Psychologically speaking I was depressed on the situation where nobody concerns of my case. Even when there was a hope for me but I had to be patient to wait for those who are responsible on my case. Patience and patience in my daily uncertainty cost me to surrender on whatever their decision I just had to be happy. I almost gave up since there was no serious rectification on my case. At a certain point I was stuck on vacuum not knowing what to do in my study planning. I did not know what courses I would take next semester in a new system at CTU. Even on the workshop day of conversion system at CTU from quarter to semester system, I still did not know whether I could transfer my credits or not while I saw one SVD student has a letter of the CTU dean regards the transferred credit of his theological study from Washington D.C. to CTU. It made me more confused and jealous and had prejudice: “How come I am a Xaverian student having some theology studies compared to SVD student whose the similar theology study but I was neglected in transferring credit. He is an SVD student and the dean of CTU is an SVD priest. What is going on here?” My negative perception toward others at CTU was decreasing after that moment. As a person I felt I was an unlucky one compared to other fellow students. Fortunately, I had inner strength to endure this hard situation. I used to have more difficult cases in my own family and my process to get the U.S. visa and that time I had to have “unfortunate one” again. Who am I, always having difficulty in this vocation toward priesthood? I believe that all of these occasions give me strength and confidence because when I am weak I am strong. Even my feeling of hatred toward those who have responsibility on me in this case, I changed becoming a prayer for all of them. Let it be as God’s will happen to me. With all difficulties I get used to be grateful and always aware and struggle to do better in the future. I could not imagine if I am never challenged by any difficulty in my life; probably, I would be spoiled and once I got trouble, I could be very down and extremely do suicide in worst possibility because nobody cares of me. Thanks God I still survive until now no matter what problem I face in my life.
Theologically speaking, God is always in the side of those who are oppressed and neglected. God has wonderful scenario on the humans’ story that often times we as human beings not to be patient and aware of God’s signs. My surrender on God’s will is totally changing my perception toward others. God drew me to be a silent actor in little and smart ways, such as finding ways to be peace with those who are involved in this case. I am a typical person who does not like fight against other frontally. I am a peace and pacified man. I worked on my case tacitly and where there is opportunity I would do it directly with my own mature plan such as doing my appeal to add two more courses be transferred as I was taking time to ponder seriously on my theological studies and CTU program. I am a sort of person who always concerns on my studies in fulfilling all obligations as a student. Even I took care of my siblings in enrolling to their new schools before I left for a big city to work and it continued to do so with my younger Xaverian confreres in Indonesia and those who came to the U.S.A. after me. I was asking to myself: “Why I always take care of others but in my basic needs nobody cares and concerns on my case especially in my study, namely, transferring credits? Instead the things that should not happen in my life it hit me unpredictably.
I have advice and suggestion to some characters in this story. For my formator, I believe he has a good intention toward his new students but I propose to him to be clear and honest in the beginning so I did not have to think by myself what was going on behind his scenario. It cost me negative perception and bad feeling toward him that is not necessarily happened if he told me in the beginning. It seems to me that he does not have fixed policy in my case. It is evident when my Superior General and one councilor came to visit, my case was discussed again, I supposed. Eventually, things were changed drastically. For CTU both my advisor and M.Div director: I do not know what kind of professional assessment of them to evaluate one new student enrolls to CTU. I found out that the assessment of M.Div director did not base upon the real fact. The director assessed based only on the director’s thought without consultation with the new students and knowing the previous school of them. In the reality there is a big different regards on the number of transferred credits between me and other students (both the students before and after me) is an evident that there is no serious and professional treatment to know a new student and his previous study. I believe the director can do better in assessing the new student entering CTU in knowing carefully and prudently where the student comes from so that the student feels his rights are respected as same as other students. If there are some students coming from the same school and same subjects, why the director did much different assessment on the transferring credits? It is just easy to make quite the same assessment based upon the previous students.
2) In the magisterial documents I find out that:
- “…recognize and satisfy the right of all to a human and social culture in conformity with the dignity of the human person without any discrimination of race, sex, nation, religion or social condition” (Gaudium at Spes, article 60). In my case, I feel discriminated as a person whose previous studies from ‘third world country’ compared to ‘the first world country’ even though the content of the studies are similar.
- “…In order that they may fulfill their function, let it be recognized that all the faithful, whether clerics or laity, possess a lawful freedom of inquiry, freedom of thought and of expressing their mind with humility and fortitude in those matters on which they enjoy competence” (GS 62). I felt that my aspiration and my freedom to make appeal regards equality of transferring credit was being neglected by the respective authority.
- “…the Church stands forth as a sign of that brotherhood which allows honest dialogue and gives it vigor…Therefore, if we have been summoned to the same dignity, human and divine, we can and we should work together without violence and deceit in order to build up the world in genuine peace. For our part, the desire for such dialogue, which can lead through love alone, excludes no one” (GS 92). I felt in the beginning that there was a hidden scenario on my case, without honesty face to face and no dialogue at all. I felt being cheated.
On the document of Pontifical Commission Justice and Peace, The Church and Racism, I find out:
- “…in the West as in the East, in the North as in the South, one can already find unjust and discriminatory behavior, but one cannot in every case speak about racism as such” (article 2). I could not imagine that in the famous education institution in the U.S.A. there is still discrimination toward a new student that was not supposedly happened for a quite time toward one person.
- “The victims are certain groups of persons whose physical appearance or ethnic, cultural or religious characteristics are different from those of the dominant group, and are interpreted by the latter as being signs of an innate and definitive inferiority, thereby justifying all discriminatory practices in their regard. If, in fact, race defines a human group in terms of immutable and hereditary physical traits, racist prejudice, which dictates racist behavior, can be applied by extension, with equally negative effects, to all persons whose ethnic origin, language, religion or customs make them appear different” (article 8). I was being suspected as a student whose undergraduate level from “third world country” without considering the equality and same rights like other students.
From Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace entitled Contribution to World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance (Durban, 31 August – 7 September 2001), I find out:
- “The primary demand is therefore respect for truth. Lying, untrustworthiness, corruption, and ideological or political manipulation make it possible to restore peaceful social relations. …Such justice must respect the fundamental dignity of the human person at all times” (article 11). If there is a manipulation of the truth regards on my case, what should I say toward those who have planned and broken it? What is the truth in it?
- “From the legal point of view, all persons (individual or corporate) have a right to equitable reparation if personally and directly they have suffered injury (material or moral)…An example of this is the offering of an apology or expression of regret to the victim” (article 12). I wonder in fact, there is no special conversation or apology toward me after they found out there is a ‘misread on my previous study’ being made by the respective authority of CTU or my formator.
- “Education is a matter of teaching the human being to become “ever more human”, to “be more” rather than to “have more”. Thus the human being learns to “be” “with others”, but even more to be “for others.” That is why “education is of fundamental importance for the formation of inter-personal and social relations” (article 14). I do not see the real engaging and honest inter-personal relationship between me as a student with the respective authority regards on my case. Do not they know that I was injured morally by their policy?
- “…the unity of the human race, the dignity of every human being, the solidarity which bonds together all the members of the human family….without education in moral values, in the people and with their leaders or future leaders, every construction of peace remains fragile” (article 15). I do not know whether they realize that there is injustice issue on this little case that cost me feeling no peace. They should consider that they are model of leaders in the Church who are supposedly giving a good example toward me as a new student and a future leader in the Church.
- “…the Church insists on the irreplaceable role of religions, and of the Christian faith especially, in the area of education regarding human rights” (article 17). If we are dealing about education, mainly in the theological studies for ministry in the Church, what we are living out in the reality should be an implementation of respect on human rights, basic human rights, namely, the right of a new student to know why the policy was different. But, in reality, there was an unclear story behind my case.
- “…these measures of positive discrimination must be temporary, that they ought not have the effect of maintaining different rights for different groups, and that they must not be kept in force once their objectives have been achieved” (article 19). I am glad that eventually my ‘tragic experience’ is not repeated toward my younger confreres.
- “Freedom of conscience and freedom of religion remain the premise, the principle and the foundation of every other freedom, human and civil, individual and communal” (article 22). As an individual person, I have a right to speak up and make appeal for justice as I perceive but in reality I was shut up and intimidated by the authority that makes me bit trauma in some degree and mentally being discouraged and drew to inferior complex as a person of a certain group such as Indonesian, Asian, etc.
3) In my local bishop conference I am not sure there is a document regards on this issue. But, I know that in Indonesia there is always a policy to consider the transfer credits at a new school in the same status between the old and new school. Why should one repeat the same subject if he/she has already taken at the previous school?
4) Summary: I might feel better if there was a clarification in the beginning on my case. But in fact that this case was fixed at the end of my first year at CTU. I could have been better in knowing what subjects I could take and did not necessarily take in the early of my study at CTU because I did not need them. Even after there was a rectification of this case in May after my first year almost finished, there is no certain apologized note addressed toward me who feels neglected and discriminated as a person and an Indonesian (Asian) student. The good things were finally there is a policy to transfer my credits even though there is still not quite the same compares to other Indonesian students whose the same school and same subjects like me. Actually, I have been grateful to the final treatment of CTU toward my younger confreres and myself from Indonesia because they did not need to suffer like me in the beginning. I am grateful because I can finish my M.Div in three years at CTU and it means I am very near to my final decision to be an ordained minister in my religious congregation, the Xaverians.
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