3rd letter of October 2005

3) 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time, October 16, 2005

Monday, October 10, 2005.
This week the liturgical team is Father Pascal, Alejandro and myself. In the morning I attended the Amos class and I studied at the library. At 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. in the group we practiced the Eucharistic presiding at the 6th floor chapel. The second part of the presiding class, Father Fragomeni taught us how to say the Mass presiding completely. Next week we have to practice in small group presiding the Eucharist and my group will take place at our Xaverian chapel. At 5 to 6 p.m. I led the lectio divina; I did split the group becoming two sharing group in which I asked each one of us to take a lot A or B. Coincidentally, I have group that consisted of Father Pascal and 4 Indonesian students including me. I think this method I applied successfully in Indonesia and I see one good point to share when we have small group. The tendency to share in big group (10-11 people) is only the same people speak and share and always the same people will not speak. I think it is a good method to force little bit to talk and share in the group despite sleepiness of some members in the group waiting for others talking. Even though there is negative aspect of this method such as not everybody know what other group share, but at least we have tried to speak in engaging way even honestly and plainly without hesitance. It is exactly I experienced when I led some lay Catholic group when I was in Jakarta.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005.
In the morning I read some reading assignments on the Internet for my EMP (Social justice class) and in the evening I attended this class taught by Dawn Notwehr.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005.
I attended the Amos class in the morning and did my paper on social justice class (EMP) that I would share as well in the below of this journal.

Thursday, October 13, 2005.
I attended the class of Dialogue and Inculturation taught by Edmund Chia. In the kitchen there’s Father Adolph, sx who visited us today. I did cook for the community, beef curry, rice, green-bean dessert and shrimp crackers. At 5 p.m. Alejandro led us the Holy Prayer with topic of Mission. At 7.30 p.m. to 9.10 p.m. we had community meeting led by Father Victor, sharing about our experience celebrating the World Mission Sunday. It’s a quite engaging conversation since all of us shared our own experience that is unique in our own original sites, our own country and experience. Today while I was cooking, I received a letter from my supervisors at Alexian Brothers Medical Center about my CPE evaluation. I shared this evaluation to Father Victor. I satisfy to this evaluation.

Friday, October 14, 2005.
In the Mass I shared my experience some mission works of Catholic Church since born, grew up in my hometown, Madiun toward my vocation call becoming a missionary in the Xaverians. I shared it at the below of this journal. After the Mass and the breakfast, I went to CTU to go with Daniel, a Viatorian student, to a Theravada Buddhist temple on Magnolia Avenue, North side of Chicago. For our class of Dialogue and Inculturation, my group that consists of Daniel, Judy, Long Phi and myself decided to visit this Buddhist temple. From 9 to 10.30 a.m. we had dialogue with a Buddhist monk from Thailand named Ratana who has been living in the U.S.A. for 18 years. It’s interesting conversation for all of us that will be useful for our report to the class. I was in charge in the beginning to contact the monk via phone. The monk gave each one of us a book about chanting in Pali language. He promised to send me a CD about Dharma teaching that we think will be helpful for our presentation at the class. On the way home, I asked Dan to drop me at the public library downtown. I returned and borrowed some six DVD’s. After having a rest in the afternoon, I helped Father Victor to cook for our community, just warming up Pizza, Lasagna and chicken soup. From 7 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. I attended and taped with the handy-cam recorder the worship practicum of Jacques Bahati at the Xaverian chapel. At night I was doing research on the Internet for my first paper of EMP class.

Saturday, October 15, 2005.
After having breakfast, I worked cleaning up the kitchen especially the dining room floor and the stove. In the afternoon I did practice by myself the Eucharistic presiding at the chapel. In the supper (cooked by Valery) we had nice and longer than usual conversation and very engaging one. I do type this journal in the evening.

Sunday, October 16, 2005.
I woke up in the morning at 7 a.m., took shower and prayed the breviary personally at my room. After the breakfast, Valery and I went to Chinatown to attend the 9.30 morning Mass. In the Mass, there is a new deacon of SVD’s named Paul. He is my classmate at the presiding class at CTU. He and Cesare, a Jesuit student helped Father Michael to share communion in the Mass while I was sitting together with the altar servers at the altar as well. I felt not doing anything in the Mass. Actually, I feel not comfortable if I do not do anything in the Mass while I have to sit together with other ministers. Maybe because I am a conformist man, so whatever my formators ask to do as far as I can do it, that’s no problem for me. Even though like so, I just criticize myself: why I should dress up with alb without having role in the Mass; it does not make sense. If my formator told me in order to be known by the congregation, why the way to make it is only during the Mass, is there any other way to fulfill it?
Other thing is I admire the openness of Father Michael as the pastor of Saint Therese Church in Chinatown Chicago who welcomes everybody to involve in the parish. It is evident with the presence of an SVD deacon who does his deaconate year at this parish, a Jesuit student who teaches the Confirmation children with me, and two Xaverian students, namely Valery who teaches CCD program (6th graders) and myself teach the confirmation program. Even I saw Indonesian youth who like to come to this parish to participate in the Mass, such as Marvin who volunteers himself every Saturday in the Mass and works cleaning up the church, Edi and Lisa, an Indonesia coupple who help Father Michael as well doing little things at the rectory, at least I saw them before I left the church today. Even Lisa becomes a teacher at the first grade of CCD program. Father Michael witness is really giving me a good example to be an open person to many different people who have good will to work together. It is also a real formation and education for me as a Xaverian student who prepares myself to be a missionary priest in the near future.
From 10.45 a.m. to 12 p.m. together with Cesare, SJ, I was teaching the confirmation children with the topic about the rosary. It seems that they don’t have a custom or familiar with this prayer. We gave them copy of the rosary prayer. At 2 p.m. we returned to Hyde Park by CTA train and bus. After taking a nap in the afternoon, I was practicing the Eucharist at the chapel wearing a white cassock and red chasuble because tomorrow afternoon I have to do it with my group at our chapel in the Xaverians house.
In the supper of our community in which Valery cooked hamburger and chicken, we had very alive conversation among us. It was the continuation of yesterday’s conversation that I also wondered we have more spontaneous conversation among us that create a good environment of our community. May this will be continued next time. Even, the community was gathering at night to watch a DVD at the basement after the supper. Bravo….


Reflection on Friday, October 14, 2005

I was born and raised in a small city in East Java Province, Indonesia. Since I was born until leaving my historical site for Jakarta after graduating of High School, I had been shaped by some Catholic congregations who are still working until now in Madiun. It is nice to see that through various kinds of religious congregations I was growing toward my vocation in the Xaverians. I owe to the sisters of Missionaries Claris from the Blessed Sacrament (Mexican ‘Madres’), the Ursulin Sisters, Congregation of Aloysius Brothers, and the Vincentian priests. I was born at a hospital named Panti Bagija, Madiun, belongs to the Missionaries Claris Sisters, going to kindergarten at Saint Bernardus, Madiun, belongs to Ursulin Sisters, going to primary school for 6 years at Saint Joseph, Madiun, belongs to the Aloysian Brothers, having catechumen teaching with a Missionaries Claris sister from 14 to 16 years old, and eventually baptized by an Italian Vincentian priest on December 24, 1990. I think those who have shaped my spiritual life in Catholic Church are still in my mind and memory until now. It is always my pleasure to visit them when I came home as well as my gratitude to them who have influenced my spiritual life. The last time I came home in August 2002, I did some visit to the children in the classes and told some stories as animation to them. I realized that when I was in those schools, I never had such experience being visited by a religious or seminarian in the class. So, I was having good time with the children whom I visited even the sisters, the principals of the schools as well as some teachers who still remembered me welcomed me very nicely. My dream at that time and still until now is coming to visit them again and celebrating Mass as my first Eucharist when the time for me becomes a priest comes. I think the missionary seed that have been planted in my experience and education during my life in my city bears fruit with vocation I have now in the Xaverians. Explicitly, those who had met me during my life in Madiun never expected that someday I would become a seminarian or a priest because I was just baptized at 16 years old. My mother was a Catholic but my father is not a Catholic and they married in Saint Cornelius Catholic Church Madiun in 1971. Their marriage was blessed by an Italian Vincentian priest as I saw their pictures.
The important story of my vocation toward priesthood is when a lady in my Catholic neighbor was saying to me in one Rosary prayer with other fellows, “You’re worthy becoming a priest, I would like to pray for you in special way.” Apparently, her voice and message was drawing me to know more about vocation life entering a seminary becoming a priest. Eventually, I found a Catholic newspaper, HIDUP, with the advertisement of the Xaverian Missionaries. I got it from the house of the lady who said to me to become a priest when at another occasion of rosary prayer in May 1991. The idea of becoming a Xaverian priest remained in my teenage time but my father was upset to me if I become a priest. It makes sense because he is not a Catholic. My discernment to enter the Xaverian continued until I came to Jakarta for working for three years (1993-1996). I joined the Xaverians in 1996 in the pre-novitiate, Bintaro, Jakarta. We were 15 young men and all of them coming from minor seminary except me.
Mission for me as a seminarian, who almost finishes my M.Div program (7 more months) is doing good things wherever I am. My perspective to be a missionary is changing as I study theology at CTU, Chicago. I do not perceive any more that mission is always working in a difficult area, third world country or the place where Christians are very few. My understanding of mission is completely widened by the vision that everywhere in the world is mission site for me regardless those criteria. My eagerness to go to ideal place as a missionary is reduced because of this perspective. I am thinking in the last couple of weeks to return to my own country next year after graduating of my M.Div study to know more about the mission of my Xaverian confreres since I never had experience of doing pastoral work there. What is going to happen, I just surrender to the Mission that is belonged to GOD self.

Name: Denny Wahyudi, SX
Course: EMP-4100 (Living the Values of The Reign of God: Justice, Peace, Integrity of Creation, Reconciliation)
Due: October 18, 2005

CASE STUDY SCENARIO ON RACISM, TRIBALISM, AND XENOPHOBIA

A. My real personal story
My name is Denny Wahyudi, SX (the Xaverian Missionaries Student) from Indonesia. When I started my first year of theology at Catholic Theological Union (CTU) at the beginning of September 2003 with quarter system, I did not know anything about the program of academic study at CTU. I learned of M.Div (Master of Divinity) system by myself and nobody told me what to do with this program for priesthood in Catholic Church. Luckily, I have read the book about CTU when I was in Indonesia because my Indonesian older confrere sent it for me as I asked him. At least I know little bit and learned more after I came into the system as a CTU student. What made me feeling neglected, sad, discriminated and suspected as an Indonesian student (Asian) is when I found out that my theological studies in Indonesia could not be transferred at CTU. There was only one letter from CTU mentioned that I was in the advanced standing of M.Div. It means there is none credit transferred. I did not know what does it mean until later on I knew that it was totally different with my older confrere from Indonesia whose more “lucky” experience that his theological studies from Indonesia could be transferred at CTU when he entered CTU in 2001. My formator was upset when I asked about this case and I did not make any appeal to CTU or others. I have shown my theological studies list with its grades (the transcript) from Indonesia to the director of M.Div at that time and my advisor but it seemed to me that they did not have plan to transfer my credits from Indonesia. I did show it to them in the early quarter 2003. Knowing that I was being discriminated in this sense, I kept quiet even though I kept asking other Indonesian students at SVD’s and my older confrere in the Xaverians to make sure of their experience regards on this case. After comparing to them, I know that they could transfer their theological studies from Indonesia in the beginning of their study at CTU. I am from the same school with my older confrere in the Xaverian. Our theology and philosophy school is run by Jesuit and Franciscan in Jakarta, Indonesia. I see that my theological studies are pretty the same like my Xaverian confrere whose different only two years with me. Until the end of quarter there was nothing changed to my case. Since I was a student of a religious congregation, so I have to obey whatever my superior or the CTU faculty did for me. I was afraid to raise this issue because my formator always got upset to me when I asked of it. Better I kept silent and obeyed him since I still wanted to be a member of this religious community and studied theology in order to become a priest.
I felt that nobody concern about my case even though I always told this to my other confreres. In January 2004 my Superior General and one of the councilors came to visit my community in Chicago. When they asked me about my study, I told them honestly what was going on in my study. I told them that I have no credits could be transferred at CTU. I do not know exactly until now because of my information to my superiors from Rome so that eventually in May 2004 I got a letter of M.Div director of CTU notified that I could transfer some credits to CTU or because it was really a correction, a fair and honest treatment to me from CTU itself. I was wondering to see and read this conversion letter written by the M.Div director, May 13, 2004 addressed to the dean of CTU, “…I misread Denny’s transcript and gone him only Advanced Standing for what should have been Transfer Credit” and I got the copy of it. Finally, I was very happy that I could transfer my credits. My happiness was not fully a real happiness because it is a conditional one. My advisor told me that according to my formator I have to study four years theology at CTU. It means that I have to take M.A. studies while I am studying M.Div because I can finish my M.Div program in three years. It is a usual and normal time that other Indonesian students both SVD’s and one Xaverian eventually done. I was feeling forced to take more study (M.A.) at CTU even though I was not feeling confident with my capacity. Willy-nilly I took M.A. in the major of spirituality after entering the second year of my studies at CTU just to make my superior be happy.
What made me feeling discouraged and disappointed again regards this case is when my two younger confreres in the Xaverians from Indonesia entered CTU in 2004 with semester system. Before they started CTU, they had received a letter from M.Div director (the same person with my first year at CTU) mentioned that they could transfer their theological credits from Indonesia. One of them is my classmate in theological studies in Indonesia and we graduated of the same school in 2002 and the other one graduated in 2001. I was curious to know what kind of the letter and the credit transfer. After I compared with my own experience in my first year at CTU and the number of transferred credit they have, my feeling to be discriminated popped up again. I counted on my semester system check-list that I only have 8 and a half courses in transferring credits but both of my confreres who just began their study at CTU already received around 16 to 18 courses are transferred. I rationalized this case, “O because the system of CTU now is new, semester system.” But, there is one question that I pondered here, “Why the credit transfer of mine are very different with theirs?” They can put on their electives checklist at least four courses but me. Their total transferred courses are twice of mine. Is it fair? Then I asked myself, “Don’t I have much more good grades on my theological studies in Indonesia compares to them. My total grade of my previous theology and philosophy studies in four years program in Jakarta, Indonesia is 3.67 instead they only have 3.33 and the other one is below them. What made the difference on this case?” This comparison continued when my other confrere from Indonesia entered CTU in 2005 and he also could transfer his theological studies. He could transfer 16 courses on the checklist.
It is a reality of injustice that I have to endure in my theological studies at CTU. I always ask and reflect: “What is justice in this case, what is the truth that my professors at CTU always teach me in daily studies. Why did they do this unusual and different treatment toward me. What is the difference between me with the others?” I feel sometimes depressed and continue to feel discriminated as a person compares to the others. Until someday I came to the M.Div director to make an appeal to transfer two more courses for my M.Div study. Fortunately, I could argue and the M.Div director did transfer two more courses. So, now I have 10.5 courses transferred at CTU. For me personally, it does not matter whether I could transfer my credits or not. What make difference is my feeling being discriminated as a person whose the same studies with all of my Indonesian friends even I have better grades than them. My feeling to be discriminated is never ending since I experienced it as a painful one in my life and there is no apologized notification of some characters involved in this matter. Every time I remember this experience my heart and mind are bothered and needless to say that I am angry, very, very angry but I cannot express it. Since I can graduate of M.Div in three years, hopefully in May 18, 2006, so I feel less disappointed to this case. I could finish my M.Div in three years because I am very concern on my studies. I took courses on J-Term, summer and CPE during last summer in order to finish my M.Div program in three years. I worked and studied hard in this M.Div program. If I want to compare again myself with my other Indonesian confreres, I have taken more courses at CTU in M.Div program because the number of my transferred credits is the least one. I think it is very normal that I can finish my M.Div in three years. It is exactly the same like other Indonesian students who study M.Div at CTU, before and after me. I am in the middle of them and I have experienced improper/unusual treatment regard the certainty and lack of credit transferred. Fortunately, I can bear this situation and negative feeling until I put them into words on this paper. I am glad that eventually I can express this case in this class whose concern on the personal experience on racism, tribalism and xenophobia. How do you feel and what do you do if you were I?
B.
1. The Resolution to the case:
The central moral issue in the case is the discrimination toward an individual right and equality of the same treatment as a student. In my part as a new student, I was just observing what was going on in the reality without somebody told me clearly what was going wrong beside my suspicion that my right was denied by the respective authority. I was feeling afraid of the authority, who forced me to accept whatever their evaluation to my previous theological study. My formator is supposedly the one who responsible in my early time in academic year explaining what to do as a new student but in reality he did not care enough in my case. I was wrestling deeply with injustice and discriminated feeling. Probably he had special intention for me not to do the same like my Indonesian confrere who could transfer some credits at CTU but he never told me face-to-face and honest way in the beginning. It seemed to me that there was a hidden scenario to avoid my credits be transferred. The M.Div director was doing her job in obeying what my formator asked to do without paying attention what is going on in the reality and effect on me as a new student. The director of M.Div program was supposedly prudent to see what kind of theological studies I have done in Indonesia, not only trusted plainly on my formator. Once I showed the transcript of my theological studies to the M.Div director but the director did not have any concern to transfer any of my credits even though I told that my older confrere could transfer two years ago. The treatment of the M.Div director was really disappointed me and led me to be silent because I was in the weak and voiceless position in which nobody concerned at all to my case. My academic advisor was quite the same like the M.Div director that I suspect he was told by my formator not to transfer my credits because often times I showed and asked my case in transferring credit but he was acting like an innocent person who did not know the real issue. Again, it caused me to be silent and kept all of these in my deep down heart. The superiors from Rome were doing the right way if I am true that their visit to my community changed my destiny, namely they asked my formator to change his treatment toward me regard the transferred credits. I am not sure of this issue since I was never told honestly and clearly by both sides. I just predicted that their visit made changing after quite a while. Unfortunately, the changing was not quick in response of the authority (my formator, my advisor, and the M.Div director) because I always asked this case to my advisor many times but he always forgot to pursue until a letter came up from the M.Div director written on May 13, 2004. How late it is if I considered the visit of my superiors from Rome in the end of January 2004.
Psychologically speaking I was depressed on the situation where nobody concerns of my case. Even when there was a hope for me but I had to be patient to wait for those who are responsible on my case. Patience and patience in my daily uncertainty cost me to surrender on whatever their decision I just had to be happy. I almost gave up since there was no serious rectification on my case. At a certain point I was stuck on vacuum not knowing what to do in my study planning. I did not know what courses I would take next semester in a new system at CTU. Even on the workshop day of conversion system at CTU from quarter to semester system, I still did not know whether I could transfer my credits or not while I saw one SVD student has a letter of the CTU dean regards the transferred credit of his theological study from Washington D.C. to CTU. It made me more confused and jealous and had prejudice: “How come I am a Xaverian student having some theology studies compared to SVD student whose the similar theology study but I was neglected in transferring credit. He is an SVD student and the dean of CTU is an SVD priest. What is going on here?” My negative perception toward others at CTU was decreasing after that moment. As a person I felt I was an unlucky one compared to other fellow students. Fortunately, I had inner strength to endure this hard situation. I used to have more difficult cases in my own family and my process to get the U.S. visa and that time I had to have “unfortunate one” again. Who am I, always having difficulty in this vocation toward priesthood? I believe that all of these occasions give me strength and confidence because when I am weak I am strong. Even my feeling of hatred toward those who have responsibility on me in this case, I changed becoming a prayer for all of them. Let it be as God’s will happen to me. With all difficulties I get used to be grateful and always aware and struggle to do better in the future. I could not imagine if I am never challenged by any difficulty in my life; probably, I would be spoiled and once I got trouble, I could be very down and extremely do suicide in worst possibility because nobody cares of me. Thanks God I still survive until now no matter what problem I face in my life.
Theologically speaking, God is always in the side of those who are oppressed and neglected. God has wonderful scenario on the humans’ story that often times we as human beings not to be patient and aware of God’s signs. My surrender on God’s will is totally changing my perception toward others. God drew me to be a silent actor in little and smart ways, such as finding ways to be peace with those who are involved in this case. I am a typical person who does not like fight against other frontally. I am a peace and pacified man. I worked on my case tacitly and where there is opportunity I would do it directly with my own mature plan such as doing my appeal to add two more courses be transferred as I was taking time to ponder seriously on my theological studies and CTU program. I am a sort of person who always concerns on my studies in fulfilling all obligations as a student. Even I took care of my siblings in enrolling to their new schools before I left for a big city to work and it continued to do so with my younger Xaverian confreres in Indonesia and those who came to the U.S.A. after me. I was asking to myself: “Why I always take care of others but in my basic needs nobody cares and concerns on my case especially in my study, namely, transferring credits? Instead the things that should not happen in my life it hit me unpredictably.
I have advice and suggestion to some characters in this story. For my formator, I believe he has a good intention toward his new students but I propose to him to be clear and honest in the beginning so I did not have to think by myself what was going on behind his scenario. It cost me negative perception and bad feeling toward him that is not necessarily happened if he told me in the beginning. It seems to me that he does not have fixed policy in my case. It is evident when my Superior General and one councilor came to visit, my case was discussed again, I supposed. Eventually, things were changed drastically. For CTU both my advisor and M.Div director: I do not know what kind of professional assessment of them to evaluate one new student enrolls to CTU. I found out that the assessment of M.Div director did not base upon the real fact. The director assessed based only on the director’s thought without consultation with the new students and knowing the previous school of them. In the reality there is a big different regards on the number of transferred credits between me and other students (both the students before and after me) is an evident that there is no serious and professional treatment to know a new student and his previous study. I believe the director can do better in assessing the new student entering CTU in knowing carefully and prudently where the student comes from so that the student feels his rights are respected as same as other students. If there are some students coming from the same school and same subjects, why the director did much different assessment on the transferring credits? It is just easy to make quite the same assessment based upon the previous students.

2) In the magisterial documents I find out that:
- “…recognize and satisfy the right of all to a human and social culture in conformity with the dignity of the human person without any discrimination of race, sex, nation, religion or social condition” (Gaudium at Spes, article 60). In my case, I feel discriminated as a person whose previous studies from ‘third world country’ compared to ‘the first world country’ even though the content of the studies are similar.
- “…In order that they may fulfill their function, let it be recognized that all the faithful, whether clerics or laity, possess a lawful freedom of inquiry, freedom of thought and of expressing their mind with humility and fortitude in those matters on which they enjoy competence” (GS 62). I felt that my aspiration and my freedom to make appeal regards equality of transferring credit was being neglected by the respective authority.
- “…the Church stands forth as a sign of that brotherhood which allows honest dialogue and gives it vigor…Therefore, if we have been summoned to the same dignity, human and divine, we can and we should work together without violence and deceit in order to build up the world in genuine peace. For our part, the desire for such dialogue, which can lead through love alone, excludes no one” (GS 92). I felt in the beginning that there was a hidden scenario on my case, without honesty face to face and no dialogue at all. I felt being cheated.
On the document of Pontifical Commission Justice and Peace, The Church and Racism, I find out:
- “…in the West as in the East, in the North as in the South, one can already find unjust and discriminatory behavior, but one cannot in every case speak about racism as such” (article 2). I could not imagine that in the famous education institution in the U.S.A. there is still discrimination toward a new student that was not supposedly happened for a quite time toward one person.
- “The victims are certain groups of persons whose physical appearance or ethnic, cultural or religious characteristics are different from those of the dominant group, and are interpreted by the latter as being signs of an innate and definitive inferiority, thereby justifying all discriminatory practices in their regard. If, in fact, race defines a human group in terms of immutable and hereditary physical traits, racist prejudice, which dictates racist behavior, can be applied by extension, with equally negative effects, to all persons whose ethnic origin, language, religion or customs make them appear different” (article 8). I was being suspected as a student whose undergraduate level from “third world country” without considering the equality and same rights like other students.
From Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace entitled Contribution to World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance (Durban, 31 August – 7 September 2001), I find out:
- “The primary demand is therefore respect for truth. Lying, untrustworthiness, corruption, and ideological or political manipulation make it possible to restore peaceful social relations. …Such justice must respect the fundamental dignity of the human person at all times” (article 11). If there is a manipulation of the truth regards on my case, what should I say toward those who have planned and broken it? What is the truth in it?
- “From the legal point of view, all persons (individual or corporate) have a right to equitable reparation if personally and directly they have suffered injury (material or moral)…An example of this is the offering of an apology or expression of regret to the victim” (article 12). I wonder in fact, there is no special conversation or apology toward me after they found out there is a ‘misread on my previous study’ being made by the respective authority of CTU or my formator.
- “Education is a matter of teaching the human being to become “ever more human”, to “be more” rather than to “have more”. Thus the human being learns to “be” “with others”, but even more to be “for others.” That is why “education is of fundamental importance for the formation of inter-personal and social relations” (article 14). I do not see the real engaging and honest inter-personal relationship between me as a student with the respective authority regards on my case. Do not they know that I was injured morally by their policy?
- “…the unity of the human race, the dignity of every human being, the solidarity which bonds together all the members of the human family….without education in moral values, in the people and with their leaders or future leaders, every construction of peace remains fragile” (article 15). I do not know whether they realize that there is injustice issue on this little case that cost me feeling no peace. They should consider that they are model of leaders in the Church who are supposedly giving a good example toward me as a new student and a future leader in the Church.
- “…the Church insists on the irreplaceable role of religions, and of the Christian faith especially, in the area of education regarding human rights” (article 17). If we are dealing about education, mainly in the theological studies for ministry in the Church, what we are living out in the reality should be an implementation of respect on human rights, basic human rights, namely, the right of a new student to know why the policy was different. But, in reality, there was an unclear story behind my case.
- “…these measures of positive discrimination must be temporary, that they ought not have the effect of maintaining different rights for different groups, and that they must not be kept in force once their objectives have been achieved” (article 19). I am glad that eventually my ‘tragic experience’ is not repeated toward my younger confreres.
- “Freedom of conscience and freedom of religion remain the premise, the principle and the foundation of every other freedom, human and civil, individual and communal” (article 22). As an individual person, I have a right to speak up and make appeal for justice as I perceive but in reality I was shut up and intimidated by the authority that makes me bit trauma in some degree and mentally being discouraged and drew to inferior complex as a person of a certain group such as Indonesian, Asian, etc.

3) In my local bishop conference I am not sure there is a document regards on this issue. But, I know that in Indonesia there is always a policy to consider the transfer credits at a new school in the same status between the old and new school. Why should one repeat the same subject if he/she has already taken at the previous school?
4) Summary: I might feel better if there was a clarification in the beginning on my case. But in fact that this case was fixed at the end of my first year at CTU. I could have been better in knowing what subjects I could take and did not necessarily take in the early of my study at CTU because I did not need them. Even after there was a rectification of this case in May after my first year almost finished, there is no certain apologized note addressed toward me who feels neglected and discriminated as a person and an Indonesian (Asian) student. The good things were finally there is a policy to transfer my credits even though there is still not quite the same compares to other Indonesian students whose the same school and same subjects like me. Actually, I have been grateful to the final treatment of CTU toward my younger confreres and myself from Indonesia because they did not need to suffer like me in the beginning. I am grateful because I can finish my M.Div in three years at CTU and it means I am very near to my final decision to be an ordained minister in my religious congregation, the Xaverians.