surat ke-4 bulan April 2005

4) 5th Sunday of Easter, April 24, 2005

Monday, April 18, 2005. In the morning I registered to CTU for fall semester, summer and J-term. At noon I attended spirituality in a new millennium in which a Vietnamese OFM priest gave a presentation on Music and Spirituality. From 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. I had discussion group of Development of Mission Theology at Maryknool Sister’s house. From 7 p.m. to 8.15 p.m. I met Fathers Rino and Luigi to have inteview regarding my formation. Today I received a letter of my oldest sister in Indonesia and 8 pictures of my niece and nephews. I am happy that eventually I can see their pictures especially my newborn nephews, 6-month-old and one-year-old in Ponorogo-Indonesia.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005. In the morning I went to Norbertin House to have theological reflection group meeting. When I would go to school at 11.15 a.m. suddenly Father Victor called me saying that the new Pope has been elected then I watched TV with curiosity to know who’s the new Pope. It’s interesting to know the crucial time when they announced new elected Pope, the 265th pope in the Catholic Church from Germany, named Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, becomes Pope Benedict XVI. From 1.20 p.m. to 2.15 p.m. at the Xaverian House I had 4-way evaluation of M.Div Ministry Practicum Course with my rector (Father Rocco, SX), my supervisor (Sister Paula, OSF) and theological reflector (Father Mark Schramm, SVD). Overall, it’s been a good overview on my experience this one year ministry at David Darst Center (a retreat house).

Wednesday, April 20, 2005. In the morning I made outline of my MA paper on development of mission theology, on Interreligious Dialogue. At noon I had class of millennium spirituality and Clement presented Father Bede Griffith, OSB. It’s interesting figure that I can share about him in this journal as well. In the afternoon I cooked oven-chicken, Tom Yum soup and mash potatoes. At 5 p.m. we celebrated Holy Hour led by Dharmawan and sharing of Petrus. In the evening I called up my brother, Ronny in Ponorogo and niece, Kezia in Jakarta to congratulate their birthday, 28th year and 6th year.

Thursday, April 21, 2005. At noon I attended class of ethic then I went to CTU to meet Nanko asking about CPE program and registered a workshop after doing CPE (M4201) in Fall Semester 2005 that will be held on Friday, 30 September 2005. From 4.20 p.m. to 5.45 p.m. as community we had meeting with our superior general, Father Rino and his vice, Father Luigi. In our Vesper, Father Rino announced us that Petrus will be assigned as deacon as well as a priest in Indonesia. After supper, Rino and Luigi returned to Milwaukee. I attended World Mission Institute at LSTC.

Friday, April 22, 2005. From 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. I attended a 2nd year workshop at CTU entitled Human Suffering and Pastoral Care given by Kevin McClone while the day was raining and cold. In the afternoon at 5 p.m. I invited Ignas and Atumisi to come to my ministry, David Darst Retreat Center then we together with my colleague, Gayle, headed to night ministry between Halsted and Belmont, about Northside Chicago. Gayle cooked chicken soup to be shared to homeless people on the corner of these streets. Coincidentally, I met my Vietnamese SVD classmate of CTU, named Long, who has this night ministry. We altogether with other staffs of this ministry stood by on these streets and shared food to homeless people who gathered, listened to music, danced and had conversation. It’s very cold night, bit showering but we enjoyed to have this experience that lasted at 10.20 p.m. One interesting experience we experienced is there was a man who came to us asking condom but he said in a slang word so that we didn’t understand then another staff responded and gave him some various condoms and this man received them with his smile and happiness. This is also part of this night ministry. We were treated by Ignas to have ice cream at Ghirardeli at downtown Chicago then took Gayle to David Darst Center. We arrived home almost in the middle of the night.

Saturday, April 23, 2005. For Petrus’ ordination to diaconate, in the morning we were busy to do this preparation in our job and capacity at Saint Therese Church Chinatown. I helped Father Michael to prepare food with Francois who came down to Chicago from Milwaukee at noon. There was Indonesian choir practice in the church for tomorrow’s occasion. We were there till 8.30 p.m. and some of us returned to Hyde Park. For the first time I was given duty to record/tap Petrus’ ordination with handycam. Dharmawan and Ignas told me how to operate it and I tried it at the church. I guess it will be helpful for me to learn and use it for my presiding class next fall semester in which I have to tape myself in a Eucharistic presiding (Mass).

Sunday, April 24, 2005. Today is beautiful day, the day of diaconate ordination of Petrus Hardiyanto, SX at Saint Therese Chinatown started at 8.30 a.m. concelebrated by Bishop Garcia together with 14 priests including General Superior and his vice of Xaverian Missionaries, Fathers Rino and Luigi and a lot of people coming to this solemn celebration. I took part on this great event with tapping this celebration by handycam from beginning to the end at Saint Therese School. I never saw this church was filled by such many people, so I think it’s a special event I will remember very nicely. Everything was running very well done because of good cooperation of so many people who prepared it. The hospitality at the school also was very well organized, ended with Indonesian Catholic band group who sang very nice songs in Indonesian and English. At 2 p.m. together with our Indonesian friends from Indiana, Mas Renus – Mbak Sari and Nevan, their 2 years and 2 months old son, I returned to Hyde Park then they invited me to go to Argyle and we had delicious food at Vietnamese Restaurant close to Broadway Supermarket. They took me home at 6.20 p.m. and they left for Indiana soon. I am very glad to experience today’s celebration, witnessing Petrus as the first Indonesian Xaverian fruit in Chicago to be a minister as a diacon toward missionary-religious-priesthood. I think the tape I took during this celebration will be a great gift for Petrus to be recalled as many people I asked to give some words for Petrus. We look forward some other fruits next coming years that God provides and gives us. Good luck and congratulation, Petrus, have a good journey and ministry in your ‘new life’ in Indonesia that will be coming very soon. We’ll remember and pray for you as well as we believe you will recall us in your holy office prayers faithfully.

18 April 2005
MUSIC AND SPIRITUALITY
The prayer in the beginning of Joe’s presentation was a very good start to know the talented gift of the presenter on music. Melodiously he sang the entrance song and we all together paid heed meditatively on the text that has a lyric of his Franciscan spirituality. Even though his preparation on music did not work, but he could use his own voice that more expressively and naturally we could enjoy listening to him. His display on his own creation of music on books and CD is very strongly proving that he mastered on his area of music. Not only spiritual/Vietnamese Catholic Church music but he also tries to engage on secular especially youth music. Even he composed love songs in Vietnamese language and I impressed to see the CD that has contents of youth songs even though I don’t know the meaning of Vietnamese words but at least I can see the pictures of young girls playing guitar wearing Vietnamese dress and they’re beautiful, naturally beautiful.
I came to realize that music also has its own spirituality that influences in many ways to live their lives. I’m impressed when the presenter explaining that in the past music was not documented on book or literature but just based and inherited on the listening of human beings that needs a special skill to reproduce it through human’s voice or other music instruments. In addition he points out that if we listening to music and it can move us heartily, it means this music is a good music. It often times happens in my experience as I listen to some particular music, I will be in a certain mood or situation. When I miss God, I will listen to spiritual music such as meditative music or Trapist chanting music both in Latin and Indonesian, or when I am loved and to be loved, I like to listen to love songs. It is so much in accord with a statement, “music has an inner dynamism in the direction of spirituality” (Andrew Marr, OSB in “Is Music Religious? Is It Spiritual?”). I appreciate for the definition of Music that the presenter gave to us and his handout on this presentation is very helpful following his explanation on power point. Music is the fine art of combining vocal and instrumental sounds into rhythmic, melodic, and harmonic structure (to reflect and express thoughts and feelings). It is generally regarded as the most moving emotionally of all the arts (New Catholic Encyclopedia).
In relation to spirituality in a new millennium, I think to know music is also to know our own spirituality. Our feeling, emotion, mind and imagination that are always in dynamical flowing can be nourished by music, music that connect our inner beings to reality of the world in its ups and downs that eventually leads us to a closeness to the source of life and love, the Ultimate One, Godself. In my own experience, when I feel down, I prefer to be silent to make balance of my body, mind and spirit without any music or noise and sometimes I put my meditative music to make me more serene and tranquil. I believe in a silence or even in a natural music of my own environment with awareness of my surrounding sounds such as morning birds, blowing of winds, raining, even noise of vehicle, can draw me to spiritual of awareness both myself and otherness. Beyond this understanding of common music, I think my harmonious between heart, mind, body and spirit is a ‘classical music’ that I have to listen and achieve in balance way and it’s a long live orchestra that only myself can savor its beauty.

20 April 2005
Father Bede Griffiths, OSB (1906-1993)
Bede Griffiths was a monk, a man in whom there was no guile, and was last to see the guile that may have been in any other. This monk with a universal heart was an icon of integrity and guilelessness. Father Bede Griffiths, Swami Dayananda, who died May 13, 1993, barefooted and clothed in the color of the sun, in his thatched hut at Shantivanam in South India was a priest, monk who concerned on Indian culture especially effort to connect local culture and Hinduism and sacredness to Christian teaching. Alan Richard Griffiths was born at home at Walton-on-Thames in 1906 in a British middle class family, youngest of three. He had a sister and a brother. Soon after his birth Alan's Dad lost his business, cheated by a partner to the last penny. Mr. Griffiths lost face and never regained his role or place in the family. Alan's mother, who then became both parents to the children, had to move into less comfortable surroundings and had to go to work and manage her own housecleaning.
Deeply touched by the reading both intellectually and spiritually, in spite of the fact that his mother had verbalized that her greatest grief would be if any in her family would embrace Roman Catholicism, Alan visited Prinknash Abbey and remained six weeks, much impressed. On Christmas eve, 1931, he was received into the Church and at midnight Mass received his first Communion. Alan then entered Prinknash Abbey just a few weeks later. Here, he said, he felt at home. Later with tongue in cheek he said, "Downside would have ruined me as it was too intellectual." On December 20, 1932, Alan was clothed as a Benedictine Novice and received the name of Bede, which means prayer. Years later in India, he received the name of Dhayananda which means bliss of prayer, and still later Dayananda, which means bliss of compassion. Fr. Bede offered his Perpetual Vows in 1937, just one year before his beloved mother met with a car accident and passed away. He was ordained in 1940 at the age of 34. One of the monastic tasks he most enjoyed was guest master, since the Abbey attracted people from different cultures and walks of life. The exchange was energizing.
Bede Griffiths was a man with a universal heart. He had no guile and saw no guile in others. He honored the sacredness of every person because he believed so deeply that each person is a unique image of the divine. With Ruusbroec, Fr. Bede believed that "God's work in the emptiness of the soul is eternal." He all but saw that "spark of God" in everyone. He loved to describe the divine processions within: the Father in Self-reflection bringing forth His Word, His divine Image in pure consciousness in perfect bliss: self-knowing and self-giving. And the whole creation comes to its fullness in this intimacy, this relationship of love. Fr. Bede was fascinated by the Trinitarian Mystery, and even more so by the possibilities the Hindu doctrine of Saccidananda presented our Christian theology. (Cf. Toward a Christian Vedanta, by Wayne Teasdale).
Bede Griffiths had a listening heart that was finely attuned to others and therefore many others came to open their hearts to him. Someone has said so truly, of all the things he was, Bede Griffiths was the perfect gentleman to the End. And it was this listening heart that awaited everyone who came. He even sought out new arrivals to set up a time to share with them. If the deepest meaning of hospitality is "receiving the Divine," Bede Griffiths surely did just that in each one who came into his ambit. Those who left his presence frequently remarked that he treated them as if they were his only business that day; he made them feel so revered.
For Fr. Bede, being universal meant to be centered and grounded. He generated this universality of heart through his daily practice of meditation and contemplative prayer, and this opened him ever more to the myths, symbols and teachings of the other great religions of the world. He was intrigued by the concept of the archetypal or Universal Man. In several of his books one can find how he detailed the names and descriptions of such from all the major religions. (cf The Marriage of the East and West, p.140; 70).
This profound insight was to be tested by fire when the young Father Bede asked his Abbot permission to go to India. He was told "no" because there was too much of Bede Griffiths' will in this. The Abbot was wise enough to recognize how much of the Divine Will was in it also, and later "sent" Fr. Bede to India. "The surrender of the ego is the most difficult thing we have to do," Bede wrote, and insisted "The surrender of the ego is the ONLY way of life."
Bede Griffiths was granted mystical experiences both before and after attending Oxford. This was not merely a psychological analysis, but a deeply contemplative look at the overwhelming inner experience he had gone through. Intimating it was a mystical experience which could not properly be put into words, Father used symbolic language to try and express the depth of the experience. The two symbols he used were the Black Madonna and the Crucified Christ. He said these two images summed up for him something of this mysterious experience of the Divine feminine and the mystery of suffering. When he first spoke about the Black Madonna, he said his experience of her was deeply connected to the Earth-Mother, to the forms of the ancient feminine found in rocks and caves and in the different forms in nature. He likened it to the experience of the feminine expressed in the Hindu concept of Shakti - the power of the Divine Feminine. Later Father wrote these reflections on the Black Madonna: "The Black Madonna symbolizes for me the Black Power in Nature and Life, the hidden power in the womb...I feel it was this Power which struck me. She is cruel and destructive, but also deeply loving and nourishing."
After the stroke and the cure, father Bede did a great amount of travel to foreign countries. He said he never lost this sense of the divine presence from that time on. In a brief explanation he offered his overview of life in contrast to what society teaches us, he said at the age of 85 he begged to differ with those who think that life is all over at 40, and that from then on we go downhill. He saw our lifetime as roughly divided into three interrelated phases: ages 1-20, during which time our bodies develop, our mind and character gradually grow to maturity; then ages 20-40, during which time our psychological faculties are developed, many people marry at this stage and rear a family, professional skills are acquired, sports and arts are perfected. But most people think or are taught that that's all there is and it's all down hill from there. Father Bede insisted that the time from age 40 on is what life is all about; all the rest was preparation for the flowering of the whole personality. For him, here the spiritual powers begin to develop and transcend the capacities of mind and body. These are not left behind but are integrated into what opens us to the Eternal, the discovery of the Absolute, the Transcendent, the deep Source of all Reality. This is the breakthrough to the mystical and this, Fr. Bede believed, is the great hope for everyone. He said the last 20 years of his life were the most wonderful of all. This man, monk, and mystic, left us a message not only in his words but most of all by his very life!
Regarding prayer, he wrote: “It is only in prayer that we can communicate with one another at the deepest level of our being. Behind all words and gestures, behind all thoughts and feelings, there is an inner center of prayer where we can meet one another in the presence of God. It is this center which is the real source of all life and activity and of all love. If we could learn to live from that center we would be moved by love. Here alone can all the conflicts of this life be resolved, and we can experience a love which is beyond time and change.”
For a new millennium spirituality, I think the witness of Bede contributes us a figure of Interreligious Dialogue who pursued never-ending spirituality in surrounding sacredness. His conversion and change day-to-day invites me to see and be aware of my own day-to-day process of life’s journey here and now.

4) Hari Minggu Paskah Ke-5, 24 April 2005

Senin, 18 April 2005. Pagi hari saya mendaftar ke CTU untuk matakuliah yang akan diambil dalam semester musim gugur, musim panas dan J-Term (Januari-Term). Siang hari saya mengikuti kuliah spiritualitas dalam millennium baru di mana seorang pastor OFM asal Vietnam mempresentasikan tema Musik dan Spiritualitas. Dari jam 1 hingga 4 sore hari, saya mengadakan diskusi kelompok untuk matakuliah Perkembangan Teologi Misi di rumah Suster Maryknoll. Dari jam 7 hingga 8.15 malam saya bertemu pembesar SX yaitu Pastors Rino dan Luigi untuk wawancara mengenai pembinaan saya di Chicago ini. Hari ini saya menerima sebuah surat dan 8 photo dari kakak sulung saya di Ponorogo-Indonesia.

Selasa, 19 April 2005. Pagi hari saya pergi ke rumah tarekat Norbertin untuk pertemuan kelompok refleksi teologi. Ketika saya akan pergi kuliah jam 11.15 siang, Pastor Victor tiba-tiba berteriak memanggilku mengatakan bahwa paus yang baru sudah terpilih, maka saya menonton TV dengan keingintahuan yang besar menyaksikan siapa paus yang paru terpilih ini. Menarik sekali melihat saat-saat menentukan pengumuman paus baru, paus yang ke-265 di dalam Gereja Katolik Roma, bernama Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, menjadi Paus Benediktus XVI. Dari jam 1.20 hingga 2.15 sore hari di rumah Xaverian saya mengadakan evaluasi 4-arah dalam matakuliah M.Div Ministry Practicum yaitu saya sendiri dengan rektor saya (Pastor Rocco, SX), supervisor saya (Suster Paula, OSF) dan dosen kelompok refleksi teologi saya (Pastor Mark Schramm, SVD). Secara keseluruhan, pengalaman saya dalam karya kerasulan ini cukup baik adanya selama hampir setahun ini di David Darst Center (sebuah tempat retret).

Rabu, 20 April 2005. Pagi hari saya membuat outline untuk paper MA matakuliah perkembangan teologi misi dalam topik Dialog Antaragama. Siang harinya saya mengikuti kuliah spiritualitas millennium dan Clement mempresentasikan tentang Pastor Bede Griffith, OSB. Ia adalah figure yang cukup menarik yang saya dapat bagikan refleksi mengenai dia di jurnal ini juga. Di sore hari saya memasak untuk komunitas saya: dua ayam utuh yang dioven, sup Tom Yum soup dan kentang instant (mash potatoes). Pukul 5 sore kami merayakan adorasi di kapel dipandu oleh Dharmawan an sharing dari Petrus. Di sore hari saya menelpon adik saya, Roni di Ponorogo dan Kezia, keponakan saya di Jakarta yang berulang tahun pada hari yang sama, 21 April dalam usi 28 tahun dan 6 tahun.

Kamis, 21 April 2005. Siang hari saya mengikuti kuliah etika lalu pergi ke CTU untuk bertemu Nanko bertanya mengenai program CPE lalu mendaftarkan diri untuk workshop setelah CPE (M4201) dalam semester musim gugur 2005 yang akan diadakan pada hari Jumat, 30 September 2005. Dari pukul 4.20 hingga 5.45 sore hari sebagai komunitas kami bertemu dengan pejabat tertinggi Xaverian kami dan wakilnya dari Roma, yaitu Pastors Rino dan Luigi. Dalam doa sore, Pastor Rino mengumumkan bahwa Petrus akan ditugaskan sebagai diakon lalu pastor di Indonesia. Setelah makan malam, Pastors Rino, Luigi dan Ivan kembali ke Milwaukee. Petang hari saya menghadiri sebuah seminar World Mission Institute di LSTC (sekolah teologi Lutheran).

Jumat, 22 April 2005. Dari pukul 9 hingga 12 tengah hari saya mengikuti workshop untuk mahasiswa tahun kedua CTU dengan judul Penderitaan Manusia dalam Konseling yang diberikan oleh Kevin McClone sementara dari pagi hari hujan dan lumayan dingin. Sore hari pukul 5 saya mengajak Ignas dan Atumisi untuk datang ke tempat kerasulan saya di rumah retret David Darst Retreat Center lalu kami bersama dengan rekan tempat kerasulanku bernama Gayle pergi menuju ke tempat kerasulan ‘malam hari’ yang terletak antara Jalan Halsted dan Belmont, bagian Utara Chicago. Gayle memasak sup ayam untuk dibagikan pada para tuna wisma di sudut jalan ini. Secara kebetulan, saya bertemu teman sekelas saya di CTU, yaitu dari tarekat SVD, asal Vietnam bernama Long yang memiliki kerasulan di sini juga. Kami bersama dengan para staff karya kerasulan ini pergi ke sudut jalan ini membagikan makanan untuk para tuna wisma yang berkumpul, mendengarkan musik, berjoged dan membagikan makanan dan mereka makan di tepi jalan yang ramai ini sambil bercakap-cakap santai. Malam ini cukup dingin dan hujan rintik-rintik namun kami menikmati pengalaman yang cukup menarik ini yang berlangsung hingga pukul 10.20 malam hari. Hal menarik adalah ada seorang pria yang datang kepada kami dan minta sesuatu namun kami tidak mengerti apa yang diucapkannya. Tidak tahunya dia minta diberi kondom dan memang staff lainnya mengerti maksud pria ini dan memberikannya beberapa macam dan ragam kondom ini sambil pria ini senyum-senyum senang menerimanya. Ini juga merupakan bagian dari kerasulan ‘malam’ semacam ini. Kami ditraktir oleh Ignas makan es krim di Ghirardeli di downtown Chicago lalu mengantar Gayle pulang kembali ke Darst Center lalu kami tiba di rumah hampir tengah malam.

Sabtu, 23 April 2005. Untuk tahbisan diakonat Petrus, pagi hari kami sibuk melakukan persiapan di Gereja Santa Theresia Chinatown dengan mengerjakan tugas sesuai kemampuan dan kerelaan kami. Saya membantu Pastor Michael untuk memasak yang dibantu oleh Francois yang baru tiba di siang hari dari Milwaukee. Ada pula latihan koor umat Katolik Indonesia untuk acara Petrus besok. Kami berada di gereja St. Theresia ini hingga malam hari pukul 8.30 lalu sebagian pulang kembali ke rumah di Hyde Park termasuk Harno. Untuk kali pertamanya saya diberi tugas merekam acara tahbisan ini dengan handycam. Dharmawan dan Ignas mentraining saya bagaimana menggunakan alat elektronik ini dan saya mencobanya di gereja. Saya kira hal ini akan sangat berguna bagi saya untuk mengetahui cara menggunakannya untuk kuliah presiding saya semester gugur yang akan datang di mana saya harus merekam diri saya sendiri dalam memimpin perayaan Ekaristi/misa kudus sebagai latihan/praktikum sebelum jadi imam betulan.

Minggu, 24 April 2005. Hari ini adalah hari yang sungguh indah, hari pentahbisan diakonat Petrus Hardiyanto, SX di Gereja Santa Theresia Chinatown Chicago diawali pukul 8.30 pagi, dipimpin oleh Uskup Garcia bersama 14 imam termasuk Superior Jenderal Serikat Misionaris Xaverian dan wakilnya: Pastor Rino dan Luigi dan banyak orang datang dalam peristiwa agung ini. Saya mengambil bagian dalam acara ini dengan merekam perayaan istimewa ini dengan handycam dari awal hingga akhir di Sekolah Santa Theresia. Saya tidak pernah melihat gereja ini penuh dengan begitu banyak orang yang datang dalam misa, maka saya berpikir ini adalah suatu acara khusus yang akan saya kenang dengan baik. Segala sesuatu berjalan dengan lancar dan terkendali berkat kerjasama yang baik dari sekian banyak orang yang mempersiapkannya. Acara ramah tamah di sekolah juga cukup terorganisir dengan baik, diakhiri dengan lagu-lagu yang dibawakan oleh kelompok baru band kelompok Katolik Indonesia di Chicago dengan lagu-lagu Indonesia yang sungguh menawan dan lagu bahasa Inggris. Pukul 2 sore bersama dengan Mas Renus – Mbak Sari dan anak mereka Nevan, 2 tahun 2 bulan, saya pulang kembali ke Hyde Park lalu mereka mengajak saya pergi ke Argyle dan kami makan makanan Vietnam yang cukup lezat dan murah di Broadway Supermarket. Mereka mengantarku pulang kembali ke Hyde Park sekitar pukul 6.20 sore dan mereka kembali ke Indiana segera. Saya sungguh sangat senang mengalami perayaan indah hari ini, menyaksikan Petrus sebagai buah sulung pertama Xaverian Indonesia di Chicago menjadi seorang diakon menuju panggilan hidup imamat religious misioner. Saya kira video yang saya rekam selama perayaan hari ini akan menjadi hadiah yang bagus buat Petrus untuk dikenang karena banyak orang saya mintai komentar untuk sepatah dua patah kata bagi Petrus. Kami menunggu buah-buah berikutnya di tahun-tahun yang akan datang yang sudah Tuhan persiapkan dan berikan pada kita semua. Selamat buat Petrus dan semoga berhasil dan setia dalam menapaki suatu perjalanan yang indah dan pelayanan di ‘hidup baru’ mu di Indonesia sesaat lagi. Kami akan mengingat dan berdoa buat kamu sebagaimana kami percaya bahwa kamu juga akan mengenang kami semua dalam doa-doa harian (brevir kamu) dengan penuh kesetiaan.