surat ke-1 bulan April 2005

1) 2nd Sunday of Easter, April 03, 2005

Monday, March 28, 2005. This morning I met Father Rocco for monthly personal formation. Harno returned to Milwaukee, taken by Petrus and Dharmawan.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005. In the morning I had theological reflection group at Scalabrinian house. In the afternoon I had turn to cook for my community, just leftover and already made Lasagna plus garlic bread. Good news for me that I got roundtrip ticket Chicago-Orlando that was purchased today by Father Rocco via Internet, namely, Southwest. It’s a good deal one, costs $ 125.40. In the evening I telephoned Cik Ana in Orlando to confirm that I will go to visit her in May. At night eagerly I was reading the new I Saveriani, the edition of February 2005 (the Xaverian bi-montly intern booklet).

Wednesday, March 30, 2005. In the morning all Xaverian priests headed to the East Coast to attend retreat and assembly and in the morning we had Mass presided by Father Willy, sx. I got a phone call from my friend, Fredy in Jakarta. At noon I attended a class of millennium spirituality and this time there was a presentation given by Gabriel Amoateng about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. In the afternoon, Jacques took Brother Paul Kofi, csc (holy cross congregation) to O’Hare airport to return to Ghana-Africa after finishing his MA study at CTU-Chicago. I got news that my letters for my family and all Xaverian formation houses in Indonesia I gave to Edi-Lisa who have been in Surabaya-Indonesia, have already arrived in the addresses.

Thursday, March 31, 2005. This morning we had Mass as well concelebrated by Father Willy with sharing of our Easter or Holy Week experience. I borrowed from CTU library a videocassette and book entitled ‘Charo of the Barrio’ for my retreat ministry tomorrow evening. It’s about Columban mission in Peru. In the evening we prayed Holy Hour led by Pascal Atumisi. Since there are no formators here, so we don’t have community meeting. I have times this evening to type this journal and my paper of millennium spirituality.

Friday, April 01, 2005. This morning Father Willy concelebrated Mass at our community then I attended a workshop at CTU about Public Relationship and Marketing (9 a.m. to 4 p.m.). At the end of the workshop, Father Steve Bevans, SVD presided a short prayer for our Pope, John Paul II who is very sick together with all faculty and staff of CTU. In the raining of the dusk, I headed to my ministry site, David Darst Center by bicycle through Green Line train station and took this train, stopped at 35th Street toward 28th Street on South Normal. Unfortunately, the door of the retreat house was closed and I assumed I misunderstood of the information. Patiently, I was waiting for one hour till 7 p.m. I tried to call up Sister Paula but I couldn’t succeed, then I returned to the retreat house and eventually I saw light on in the house; Gayle was there and opened the door for me. Thanks be to God that my patience is fruitful. At 8.20 p.m. the retreatans came from Saint Mary University, Winona-Minnesota. They are 3 girls of college students and one man of graduate studies (Matt, Michelle, Cathy and Caroline). This time only Gayle and I accompanied them in this weekend retreat since Sister Paula, my supervisor and the director of the retreat house has operation of her eyes. Directly, we went to Lakeview homeless shelter at North of Chicago. A couple of times I have been coming to this man shelter and I always see some new faces. We had supper together served by some other volunteers. I had opportunity to make conversation with an Afro-American man from New York City while the television was on reporting the very sickness of our Pope. At 10.30 p.m. we returned to the retreat house.

Saturday, April 02, 2005. This morning I had private prayer and together with the retreatans having breakfast then departed to Martin de Porres recovery house for women and children who have drug and alcohol addiction. We accompanied and played with the children at the park close by the house. We were having fun with the kids who were Afro-Americans. The director of the house shared her story how she struggled in the recovery of addictions and to be helper of other women at this house. The house is run also by nuns. At 1 p.m. we returned to the retreat house to have lunch then visited Saint Agnes nursing home close to Chinatown. As we entered the nursing home, we saw on the television that Pope, John Paul II has died at night in Rome. We met some residents at this three-floor nursing home and personally I had nice conversation with a 90-year-old Afro-American lady originally from Chicago. At 4 p.m. we came back to the retreat house and the retreatans invited me to go to downtown to see Grand Millennium Park. At 6 p.m. we arrived at the retreat house and had supper at 7 p.m. In the evening I shared the rope game to them and Gayle led a session and reflection and once in a while I shared my point of views referring to my own experience and culture.

Sunday, April 03, 2005. We attended Mass at Saint Basil the Visitation Church at 9 a.m. and visited SU CASA Catholic Worker House. After Gayle guided us to know SU CASA, we were getting in line with homeless people to enter the soup kitchen to have lunch. I had lunch together with Derick, an Afro-American who carries Chicago Tribune newspaper and he said that he likes to read it. The coordinator of the soup kitchen named Freida told us her experience being helped by Brother Denis (Christian Brother) 14 years ago and now she is a volunteer of this soup kitchen. We had closing prayer at the chapel of the retreat house then the retratans left for Minnesota at 2 p.m. I enjoyed this retreat, especially in the small group I can share openly my own experience and Matt always asked me many things about my vocation in the seminary and my own culture. Most of us have ‘silence’ attitude, needless to say as introvert so most of the time there was quiet moment and I tried to initiate the talk or Matt started then I told other stories. I am glad that I can help them to the process of the retreat with being present among them and available to walk together with them. I promised to them I would share the pictures I took with them via e-mail. It’s a good experience that I can reflect it more for my theological reflection. I am curious to know a Catholic church named Saint Mary the Perpetual Help at 32nd Street and with my bicycle finally I found it and took some pictures of this old church with huge dome. I went to Chinatown to buy a phone card then continued to go home at Hyde Park through some streets that I never passed by. It’s really a nice and beautiful day to finish the retreat. Arrived at home I tried to transfer my digital camera pictures to CD and computer and finally at night I could do it with the help of Alejandro.


28 March 2005
Howard Thurman (1900-1981)

Thurman was from Daytona-Beach, where he was born in 1900 and his grandmother, who took care of him and his sisters after his father died and his other went to work, had been born a slave; she could neither read nor write. But it was the grandmother who insisted on the importance of an education above all else. He was the first Afro-American child in the town to receive an eighth grade certificate from the public school. His grandmother had big influence to his future life as she said, “I want to tell you something, and you remember it all your life: Look up always; down never. Look forward always; backwards never. And remember, everything you get you have to work for.” It reminds me also of my own family especially my grandmother who took care of me after my mother passed away. She often times telling me stories of her life and gave me example to care of other extended family. She gave a real and compassionate action toward her other children and grandchildren especially who were needed her attention. It seems it is inherited on my own principle of life, namely, to care of my family and extended family with whom I belong. Her closeness and care to me from 10 to 17 year-old will never be forgotten.

Thurman’s carrier afterward was greatly influenced by his professors such as Dr. George Cross who said to him: “Howard Thurman, you have the capacity to become one of the great original creative thinkers; to influence the religious thought of our nation, perhaps of the whole world-if you are not tampered with! Because you are a Negro you may be tricked into using all your valuable creativity in fighting the race question. The race question is a social question and all social questions are temporary. Suppose Jesus had used all his energies in fighting the Roman Empire? Address your mind to the timeless questions of the human spirit! You have that kind of mind.” In my own life as well, I also have many experiences that draw me to others’ influence to my life now. I am being shaped and have been shaped by others as well as I shape others.

Thurman had an idea of interracial church in 1935 in which he and his wife, the former Sue Bailey, as chairman of the Pilgrimage of Friendship to students of India, Burma, and Ceylon under the auspices of the World Student Christian Federation. He met Gandhi in India and in their conversation Gandhi said, “That is the only way I could come, but not unless I have some creative and healing thing to say to the people. Until I have found an answer to our own problem in India. I have no right to come to America and say anything.” Then Thurman asked, “What is the greatest enemy that Jesus Christ has in India?” “Christianity,” Gandhi answered.

Thurman’s spirituality included others who are different in their many ways. In his own era, he already recognized plurality in the society in wider understanding. In the spirituality of a new millennium, it is important to see the reality in the global world that plurality is the important issue to be addressed. Thurman defines a creed as ‘a bronze plaque erected at the site of a battle, signifying who won,’ and dogma as ‘the rationalization of somebody else’s personal religious experience.’ His basic teaching theme is reiterated: ‘We are one at any level’. He said, “Man builds his little shelter, he raises his little wall, builds his little altar, worship his little God, organizes the resources of his little life to defend his little barrier, and he can’t do it! What we are committed to here, and what many other people in other places are committed to, is very simple-that it is possible to develop a religious fellowship that it is creative in character, so convincing in quality that it inspires the mind to multiply experiences of unity-which experiences of unity become over and over again more compelling than the concepts, the way of life, the sects and the creeds that separate men. We believe that in the presence of God with His dream of order there is neither male nor female, white nor black, Gentile nor Jew, Protestant nor Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, nor Moslem, but a human spirit stripped to the literal substance of itself.”

Howard Thurman’s best known work Jesus and the Disinherited influenced Martin Luther King Jr. and other leaders of the Civil Rights Movement. He retired in 1965 from his position as Professor of Spiritual Resources and Dean of Marsh Chapel at Boston University. He was the first black man to occupy the post of dean at a traditionally white university. “The ocean and the night together surrounded my little life with a reassurance that could not be affronted by the behavior of human beings. The ocean at night gave me a sense of timeless, of existing beyond the reach of the ebb and glow of circumstances. Death would be a minor thing, I felt, in the sweep of that natural embrace.”

30 March 2005
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (Janury 15, 1929-April 4, 1968)

He was a Nobel Laureate, Baptist minister and African American civil rights activist. He is one of the most significant leaders in U.S. history in the modern history of non-violence, and is considered a hero, peacemaker and martyr by many people in the world. Since his death, King’s reputation has grown to become one of the most reverend names in American history to the point where he is compared with Abraham Lincoln. Both were leaders credited with strongly advancing human rights against poor odds in a nation divided against itself on the issue and were assassinated in part for it. A decade and a half after his 1968 assassination, Martin Luther King Day, a U.S. holiday, was established in his honor.

Having read and reflected on Martin’s life, I come to realize that his strength to never surrender effort to aspire equal right of Afro-Americans in his era were supported by his own inner spirituality. His study and ministry to God’s people as pastor and his experience of compassionate toward his same race people, who were oppressed, propelled him to do action in real massive demonstration. He acted, as if he knew what he did was right and just. This heroic example is in accord with spirituality in a new millennium, namely, solidarity to the marginalized in real actions and spirituality that comes out of strong inner power as a result of pondering the truth in God’s spirit. A lot of challenges he faced to voice the truth especially against other race and established system in the U.S. society. It is a typical of prophet’ life who is rejected and ended in death. Prophetically, he uttered his speech on April 3, 1968: “It really doesn’t matter what happens now…some began to…talk about the threats that were out-what would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers…Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place, but I’m concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. And so I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.” Even though he was not fear of anything, he still kept his non-violence actions as his spirituality admiring Gandhi’s example in India. Paying attention to Gabriel’s presentation in the class, I can understand how his ‘anger’ and not fear of anything comes from as his admiration of this black hero and he wants to imitate his heroic example in his own country Ghana against the establishment of the Catholic Church. For myself, I do not know how I can express this same spirit in my own context, probably to voice same and equal rights of my own people in Indonesia in regards of Chinese descendants who often times were treated unjustly by government and the major society.

It seems to me that King’s struggle was only for the Afro-American people but in fact, he included others as he said in his speech. I am impressed by the ‘I Have a Dream’s King’s speech he uttered on August 28, 1963 at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.: “…I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.’…When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, ‘Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!’”

1) Hari Minggu Paskah Ke-2, 03 April 2005

Senin, 28 Maret 2005. Pagi ini saya bertemu formator/rektor saya, Pstor Rocco untuk pembinaan bulanan. Harno kembali ke Milwaukee diantar oleh Petrus dan Dharmawan.

Selasa, 29 Maret 2005. Pagi hari saya mengikuti kelompok refleksi teologi di rumah Scalabrinian. Di sore hari saya masak untuk komunitas, hanya sisa makanan dari hari Minggu lalu plus Lasagna yang sudah jadi tinggal dipanaskan di oven dan juga roti bawang. Kabar gembira buat saya bahwa sore ini Pastor Rocco memberiku tiket pulang pergi Chicago-Orlando yang dia beli dari Internet yaitu Southwest Airlines. Ini termasuk tiket yang masih murah yaitu $ 125.40. Sore harinya aku menelpon Cik Ana di Orlando untuk mengkonfirmasikan bahwa saya akan jadi pergi mengunjunginya di bulan Mei ini. Malam hari dengan kemauan besar saya membaca booklet edaran dua bulanan I Saveriani edisi Februari 2005.

Rabu, 30 Maret 2005. Pagi hari semua pastor Xaverian pergi menuju Pantai Timur untuk mengikuti retret dan asemblea dan di pagi hari kami mengadakan misa dipimpin oleh Pastor Willy, sx. Saya mendapat telepon dari teman lama di Jakarta, Fredy. Tengah hari saya mengikuti kuliah di CTU yaitu spiritualitas millennium dan kali ini Gabriel Amoateng dari Ghana memberikan presentasi mengenai Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Di sore hari Jacques mengantar Bruder Paul Kofi, csc (kongregasi salib suci) ke bandara O’Hare untuk pulang kembali ke Ghana-Africa setelah menyelesaikan studi MA nya di CTU-Chicago. Saya mendapat berita bahwa surat-surat saya untuk keluargaku dan semua rumah formasi Xaverian di Indonesia yang saya berikan pada Edi-Lisa yang sudah berada di Surabaya-Indonesia, telah tiba di alamatnya masing-masing.

Kamis, 31 Maret 2005. Pagi ini kami mengadakan misa dipimpin oleh Pastor Willy dengan sharing dari beberapa frater tentang pengalaman pekan suci dan hari Paskah. Saya meminjam buku dan kaset dari perpustakaan CTU yaitu berjudul ‘Charo of the Barrio’ untuk acara retret saya besok malam di tempat kerasulan David Darst Center. Ini mengenai misi kongregasi Columban di Peru. Sore hari kami mengadakan adorasi/sembah sujud dipandu oleh Pascal Atumisi. Karena tidak ada formator di sini, maka kami tidak mengadakan pertemuan komunitas. Saya punya waktu semalaman mengetik jurnal ini dan paper spiritualitas millennium.

Jumat, 01 April 2005. Pagi ini Pastor Willy merayakan misa di komunitas kami lalu saya menghadiri workshop di CTU dengan tema Public Relation dan Marketing (jam 9 hinga 4 sore). Pada akhir workshop ini, Pastor Steve Bevans, SVD memimpin doa singkat untuk Paus kita, Yohanes Paulus II yang sedang sakit parah menjelang ajalnya bersama-sama dengan para dosen dan karyawan CTU lainnya. Dalam cuaca hujan di akhir hari Jumat menjelang gelap ini saya naik sepeda menuju ke tempat kerasulan saya di David Darst Center dan naik kereta jalur hijau turun di 35th Street lalu menuju ke 28th Street di South Normal. Malangnya, pintu rumah retret tertutup dan nampak tak ada orang di dalam, gelap dan saya berpikir bahwa saya salah informasi. Dengan sabar, saya menunggu selama sejam hingga jam 7 malam berdiri di depan pintu rumah retret ini. Saya mencoba telpon ke Suster Paula namun tidak berhasil, lalu kembali lagi ke rumah retret ini dan akhirnya saya melihat cahaya di jendela rumah ini; Gayle membukakan pintu dan syukur kepada Allah kesabaran saya memberikan buah. pukul 8.20 malam peserta retret dating dari Universitas Saint Mary di Winona-Minnesota. Mereka berempat terdiri dari 3 cewek dari college dan seorang cowok dari graduate study (yaitu: Matt, Michelle, Cathy dan Caroline). Kali ini hanya Gayle dan saya yang mendampingi retret ini karena Suster Paula menjalani operasi mata. Langsung malam ini juga kami pergi ke Lakeview, sebuah shelter untuk para tuna wisma di sebelah utara Chicago. Sudah beberapa kali saya datang ke tempat ini dan selalu melihat wajah baru. Kami ikut makan bersama mereka yang dilayani oleh volunteer lain. Saya punya kesempatan berbincang dengan seorang Afro-American asal New York City sementara televisi di ruangan menyiarkan tentang keadaan Paus yang sedang sakit parah menjelang wafatnya. Pukul 10.30 malam kami kembali ke rumah retreat.

Sabtu, 02 April 2005. Pagi ini saya berdoa pribadi dan bersama-sama para peserta retret sarapan pagi lalu pergi ke sebuah rumah untuk pemulihan ibu pecandu obat-obatan dan alcohol dan anak-anak mereka, dan rumah ini bernama Martin de Porres. Kami menemani dan bermain bersama anak-anak yang adalah were Afro-Americans di sebuah taman dekat rumah ini. Director rumah ini membagikan pengalamannya berjuang dalam pemulihan dirinya dari kecanduan obat-obatan dan akhirnya menjadi penolong bagi sesama wanita yang kecanduan di rumah ini. Rumah ini juga dikelola oleh beberapa suster biarawati. Pukul 1 siang kami kembali ke rumah retret untuk makan siang lalu berkunjung ke Santa Agnes sebuah panti jompo dekat dengan Chinatown. Saat kami masuk gedung ini, kami melihat televisi bahwa Paus telah meninggal dunia dengan tenang malam hari di Roma. Kami bertemu beberapa orang tua penghuni rumah tiga lantai ini dan secara pribadi pula saya bercakap dengan seorang wanita Afro-American berusia 90 tahun asli Chicago. Pukl 4 sore kami kembali ke rumah retret dan para peserta retret mengajak saya untuk jalan-jalan ke downtown melihat Taman bernama Grand Millennium. Pukul 6 sore kami sudah tiba di rumah retret dan makan malam jam 7 malam. Di malam hari saya memberikan permainan tali kepada mereka lalu Gayle memimpin sesi dan refleksi dan sesekali saya menyumbangkan pendapat dan pengalaman saya sesuai budaya dan pemahaman budaya saya.

Minggu, 03 April 2005. Kami menghadiri misa pagi hari di Gereja Santo Basil the Visitation pukul 9 dan mengunjungi SU CASA Catholic Worker House. Setelah Gayle memandu kami semua mengenal SU CASA ini, kami ikut mengantri bersama para tuna wisma untuk makan siang di dapur umum SU CASA ini. Saya sempat berbincang dengan seorang pria Afro-American bernama Derick yang membawa koran Chicago Tribune newspaper dan ia bilang bahwa ia suka membaca. Koordinator dapur umum ini adalah Freida membagikan pengalamannya kepada kami bagaimana ia ditolong oleh Bruder Denis Brother Denis (Christian Brother) 14 tahun lalu dan sekarang ia sebagai seorang volunteer dari soup kitchen/dapur umum ini. Kami menutup retret ini dengan doa penutup di kapel rumah retret dan para peserta retret kembali pulang ke Minnesota pukul 2 siang. Saya menikmati retret ini khususnya dalam kelompok kecil ini saya dapat membagikan secara terbuka pengalaman saya dan Matt selalu bertanya tentang panggilan hidup saya di seminari dan juga tentang budaya saya sendiri. Hampir dari kami semua memiliki sikap ‘diam’, tak perlu dibilang sebagai introvert sehingga kebanyakan bila ada saat hening sekali saya mencoba untuk berbicara atau Matt kemudian saya bercerita hal lain lagi. Saya senang bahwa saya dapat membantu mereka dalam proses retret ini dengan tetap tinggal dan hadir bersama mereka dan siap sedia bila diperlukan dan berjalan bersama mereka. Saya berjanji akan mengirimkan photo-photo yang sempat saya ambil kepada mereka lewat Internet atau e-mail. Ini adalah pengalaman yang bagus yang saya dapat refleksikan lebih lanjut untuk refleksi teologi dalam kelompok saya. Usai retret, saya ingin tahu sebuah gereja katolik dekat rumah retret ini bernama Santa Maria Bunda Penolong Abadi di 32nd Street dan dengan bersepeda saya akhirnya menemukan gereja ini dan mengambil beberapa photo yang hasilnya lumayan indah dengan langit biru dan menara gereja yang cukup besar dan berwarna hijau. Saya pergi ke Chinatown untuk beli kartu telepon lalu pergi pulang ke Hyde Park melewati jalan-jalan yang tidak pernah saya lewati sebelumnya. Ini sungguh hari yang cerah dan indah untuk mengakhiri retret akhir pekan ini. Tiba di rumah saya mencoba untuk mentransfer photo dari kamera digital saya ke komputer dan CD; akhirnya saya berhasil dengan bantuan Alejandro.